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To refuse to un-recline dd's plane seat...

(805 Posts)
MerryMarigold Tue 12-Aug-14 23:24:34

Dh reckons I am. I reckon I am not.

So, long haul flight. Up at 3am to get to airport. 2 flights, 4 hour transit, bit of a hideous trip.

Anyways, on second flight, dd aged 5 FINALLY falls asleep. Thank God. Recline her seat so she is more comfortable and will hopefully sleep longer. 5 minutes later lady behind pokes my arm and asks me to put the chair up. Not very politely. I tell her my dd is asleep. She says she can't open her table with the chair reclined. (I have done this many times, so know it is entirely possible). I kneel on my chair and help her open table. Says she can't see TV screen. I adjust TV screen angle for her. She then proceeds to kick Dd's chair several times, whilst I get annoyed but decide to ignore.

10 mins later drinks come round and she speaks to the air steward in local language. He says to me. "Can I raise the seat?" and I tell him dd is sleeping. He says, "I'll do it gently" and just leans over me and does it. Thankfully she didn't wake up and managed to sleep in a contorted way for a lot longer.

I am usually the sort of person who doesn't stick up for myself and who doesn't like putting other people out (I didn't recline my own chair for the entire 9 hour flight as her large dh was behind me). I was very tired, I think that's why I was a bit arsey. I am also not being PFB. I have 3 children, but the others were not as tired and were fine.

Dh said it was her 'right' to have the seat up at least until the food is cleared up (this is probably at least 3 hours into the flight as it's a long flight). I said, "Says who?" Does her right to eat more comfortably trump my dd's right to sleep more comfortably?

So who is right?

londonrach Tue 12-Aug-14 23:26:59

If The world was right seats would recline in planes unless there was room. Now have a look at what happened by woman's point if view....

GalaxyInMyPants Tue 12-Aug-14 23:27:27

Yabu. Sorry. I hate people reclining seats and I wish airlines will make seats which don't recline. There's no leg room on a flight even without losing a couple more inches.

ADHDNoodles Tue 12-Aug-14 23:28:03

You paid for the seat. That seat reclines. You are allowed to recline it whether the person behind you likes it or not.

If she doesn't like being cramped she should have paid for first class.

londonrach Tue 12-Aug-14 23:28:03

Wouldn't and yabu

CocktailQueen Tue 12-Aug-14 23:28:04

Yanbu. Have no idea of plane etiquette but she sounds like a pita. Kicking the chair of a sleeping 5yo??

Mind you, it is the airline's fault for having seats too close together...

GalaxyInMyPants Tue 12-Aug-14 23:28:35

I have read that one airline on their new planes will put in seats which don't recline. Can't remember who but I'll book with them if t happens.

AlpacaMyBags Tue 12-Aug-14 23:28:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cavort Tue 12-Aug-14 23:29:48

I think you are right.

If an adult was in front I think it's polite to raise your seat for the food, but reclining it at all other times is fair game. Because it was a sleeping child then she should have just sucked it up.

MerryMarigold Tue 12-Aug-14 23:30:01

The recline doesn't affect leg room, but does affect the space infront of your tummy.

I know recliners aren't ideal, but on a 9hour flight, would you really begrudge someone reclining?

Picturesinthefirelight Tue 12-Aug-14 23:30:17

It is inconsiderate to recline seats whilst food is being served.

FannyFifer Tue 12-Aug-14 23:30:49

Manners usually means that you put chair upright when food is being served.

indigo18 Tue 12-Aug-14 23:30:57

YABU. It is a pain when people do this, and as you said, child slept anyway.

KissMyFatArse Tue 12-Aug-14 23:31:10


FoxSticks Tue 12-Aug-14 23:33:05

I don't recline unless I'm on a night flight, and everyone is reclining so I think I'm with your DH on this one.

BackforGood Tue 12-Aug-14 23:33:39

I think YABU too.
The seats need to be upright when the meals are being served.
As your dd was that tired, she could sleep in it anyway.

HauntedNoddyCar Tue 12-Aug-14 23:34:00

Was the complaining woman's seat upright or reclined?

My gut feeling is sleeping quiet reclined child is far better than overtired hyper upright child.

m0therofdragons Tue 12-Aug-14 23:34:28

They usually ask you to sit your seat up for food and drink but this woman sounds rude. If I was her I'd be happy your child wasn't crying from tiredness which is what my 5yo did on a long haul flight eventually falling asleep with her legs over the lovely lady next to her.

indigo18 Tue 12-Aug-14 23:34:38

You could always offer to swap so you, or one of your family, were sitting behind your child.

poupeedeson Tue 12-Aug-14 23:35:44

Seat reclinners are annoying and I'm sure it wouldn't make much difference to a five year old to be up or down (the difference in comfort is minimal in my view, so I would rather consider the person behind me). You managed to move it down while she was asleep so you were being a tiny bit precious making out it was impossible to move it up, however the woman sounds like a bit of a knob so overall I don't think you were unreasonable to dig your heels in.

MerryMarigold Tue 12-Aug-14 23:36:33

Ok, ok. It wasn't technically a meal at the point she demanded it. It was a drink.

But I still think politely asking an awake adult to raise their chair is a different matter to demanding a sleeping child be potentially disturbed.

itiswhatitiswhatitis Tue 12-Aug-14 23:36:59

If you kept the seat reclined whilst food was being served then yes you were incredibly rude and unreasonable. Your DD had fallen asleep fine with the seat upright and stayed asleep even when the steward adjusted it so you are being silly to say your dd was uncomfortable. Your dd was fine. If it's an overnight flight then more reasonable to recline seats.

ADHDNoodles Tue 12-Aug-14 23:37:23

I know recliners aren't ideal, but on a 9hour flight, would you really begrudge someone reclining?

If I paid $300+ for a crappy, cramped airline seat. I think I paid enough to do whatever the hell I like with that seat. Unless you're getting cheap seats, they really have no excuse to be telling you what to do with them.

But, then again... Airplanes make me irrationally cranky. I'm sure I would have snapped at the steward the second he encroached on my space to adjust DD's seat and the lady for kicking my daughter's seat.

differentnameforthis Tue 12-Aug-14 23:37:44

My dds (8 & 3 at the time) managed to sleep on l along haul flight for almost 11 hours without the need to recline seats.

it is very inconsiderate to ignore her request. If your dd was that tired, her seat position wouldn't have mattered.

RiverTam Tue 12-Aug-14 23:38:12

sorry, I hate reclining seats unless it's a night flight. YABU, your DD was fine so what's the problem.

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