to have had a go at this woman for telling her child my dog was going to bite her?

[wannaBe]

so, I get out of a lift with my guide dog, only to encounter a woman some ten feet away disciplining a child of about three.

Child was mildly whinging over something, almost as soon as she must have seen me the woman said to her dd: "if you don't stop that now that dog is going to bite you.

Now, I am usually fairly impatient with ignorant members of the public who ask whether the dog can cook/cleans the house (ha ha I wish)/assumes that the dog knows when to cross the road and so on, and will explain patiently how the dog is/isn't trained and what he can/cannot do.

On this occasion however I think the woman's idiocy knew no bounds, so I very calmly, but assertively said to her, in front of her still whinging child, "please don't tell her that. Telling a child that she is going to be bitten by a guide dog is not helpful when your child starts screaming at the prospect of being bitten when potentially coming face to face with my dog in a shop/restaurant/place where he is allowed to be due to the fact he is a guide dog." She replied "well I thought it would make her behave." to which I'm afraid I responded "well that's really not my problem."

I will point out that I never raised my voice to the stupid woman once. But that she was a first class idiot. And no, I don't care if she was at the end of her tether, that's up there with "the policeman will arrest you if you don't behave" and "if you run off you'll be taken by a bad man."

[SecretSpy]

You were very restrained. She sounds like a right fool.

[ICanSeeTheSun]

When will parents learn that empty threats don't work.

[SauvignonBlanche]

YWNBU at all.

[MorrisZapp]

I thought this too, until I had a kid. Yes, now I threaten him with the lady, the policeman etc. It's to avoid an unpleasant scene in public.

I don't see how it's anybody's business how others discipline their kids, as long as violence isn't involved of course.

[MagicMojito]

I actually think ya being abit u. Your not wrong in what your saying, however your whole post just comes across as mean and rather sneery.

[wannaBe]

oops meant to say "fairly patient with" not "impatient".

Have to say I was fuming. It can be bad enough as a guide dog owner to be refused a taxi or as happened to me a couple of weeks ago, access to a restaurant on the grounds of "health and safety" (guide dogs are dealing with that one), but in those instances you can usually deal with them in some way or other either through the organisation if not personally. But there is no legislating for sheer idiocy like that...

[Cataline]

Good for you! Why would anyone threaten a child with something they have no control over and so can't carry out if said child continues to misbehave?! Crap behaviour management and I've never understood parents who do it!

[wannaBe]

mean in what way exactly? I mean would it have been ok for me to have reacted by saying "yes," and allowing my dog to bite her child? no? then she has no right to use me as a threat if she's not prepared for the threat to be carried through, which of course it won't be. but next time when her child encounters a guide dog in close proximity who is going to be the one having to move the dog out of the way of a potentially screaming child?

[AlpacaLypse]

Morris I'm sure when you think this one through you'll realise how offensive your system might be to OP.

[ICanSeeTheSun]

MorrisZapp I just think it's lazy parenting.

With my 2 DC it's explianation, warning then follow through.

[Idontseeanyicegiants]

YANBU. It's an empty and ridiculous threat and almost guaranteed to cause a fear of dogs in the child! You were very restrained.
An aside but I thought that guide and assistant dogs were already exempt from being barred from places?

[AmazingBouncingFerret]

YANBU. used to get it a lot when I worked at the toy shop. 'Behave or the lady is going to tell you off'
The poor kid would then stare up at me with wide, tearful eyes.

TBH i'd be scared of me without the threat of a telling off. The bright orange polo shirt uniform was awful with my complexion.

[dawndonnaagain]

I thought this too, until I had a kid. Yes, now I threaten him with the lady, the policeman etc. It's to avoid an unpleasant scene in public.

I have had people tell their children that they will end up like the girl in the chair if they're naughty. I've had people say look, she was naughty, that's why she was there. And you expect me to say nothing? Not a snowballs hope in hell!

Mind, it makes a change from the evangelicals who tell their kids that I must have done something bad in a past life. I don't keep quiet with them, either!

[GothMummy]

She was rather silly! And probably fed up and stressed.

[CoffeeTea103]

What an overreaction from you op. Have you never heard of people using these sort of tactics to make kids behave of settle down. Sorry but it's you who came up like a crazy woman.

[wannaBe]

Idontseeanyicegiants yes they are legally allowed into restaurants/shops/taxi's etc, unfortunately it sometimes happens that the shop/restaurant owners/taxi drivers choose not to adhere to the law or are simply not educated about it.

I've had instances where they've said "no dogs," and I've explained it was a gide dog and been allowed in with no issues, a couple of weeks ago was the first time I've been flatly refused into a restaurant...

[hammyspammy]

YANBU at all, thought the way you dealt with it was just right. Can't stand parents using other people to discipline their kids by proxy and setting a child up to be scared of any dogs without reason, let alone aid dogs, is thoughtless parenting at best.

I've always wanted my child to know I'm the one to be 'scared of' (not in the 'call social services now sense though obviously) - because I'm the one who's there! What happens if the 'man/woman/police/dog over there' you're using walks off? I don't even let my family use me as the 'scary one' to my own dc's, ie saying 'if you don't try spinach Mummy won't let you have pudding' (I step in and say 'actually dd's eaten all her carrots I'm fine with her having pudding thanks') so why I'd want to be anyone else's stand-in, and therefore expect them to be mine, I have no idea!

Very lazy parenting, unless the threat is actually true (once explained to dd that if she carried out her threat to run away I'd have to send the police after her if I couldn't find her which is exactly what would have happened so is fine imo).

[wannaBe]

coffee I didn't raise my voice to her once.

would it be my responsibility to keep my dog out of her child's way if she encountered it again and started screaming because it might bite her?

This is not a pet dog out of control in a children's playground, this was aworking guide dog, in harnass and under control in a hotel corridor.

where do you draw the line? as someone just said above, is it ok to tell a child that they will "end up like the lady in the chair?" the tactic has no value what so ever, apart from to put the person being used as the threat in a difficult position.

[sparkle101]

You are so not being unreasonable!!! I work in a shop, I hate hate hate when people threaten their children that I will tell them off. They're your children! You sort them out! I have my own children to deal with.

[wannaBe]

I wonder whether in future people being used as said threat should actually say "oh it's ok darling, carry on I won't do anything..."

[lljkk]

oh, I dunno. She was at the end of her tether with a stroppy 3yo. You are over-sensitive about how folk receive your dog. I can't see anybody looking good in this picture.

[isabellnecessary]

YANBU. I have had this and my dog isn't a guide dog, but dog owners don't need more dog-phobic hysterical children screaming and acting erratically than already exist.

A nervous dog MAY bite if it is scared because someone is unpredictable and hysterical in its face, and why shouldn't it?! Then the parent blames the dog, and the owner, for something THEY have caused.

It's fine to be phobic of dogs for a legitimate reason but people need to teach their dog-phobic kids how to act if they encounter a dog. Doing nothing will generally attract zero unwanted attention from a dog. Flailing, screaming and running around in circles will arouse a dog's interest; dog will think it's a game. Nervous dog will think it's under threat and then a bite sadly becomes a possibility.

When will people realise that instilling dog phobia into their kids for the sake of making them behave ONCE can be a lifelong, debilitating thing for them and the unsuspecting public (and their dogs) to deal with?

I have a child so I'm not alien to the concept of misbehaviour and how frustrating it is when you're in public and your child just won't do as they're told (for their own safety, or whatever reason), but no dog owner wants to have their dog portrayed as a savage, unpredictable beast when actually it's more likely the child in question is behaving that way (my 3yo does a good impression). It's rude, and causes unnecessary fear for the child.

Leave my dog out of it thanks and find better ways to control your child.