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in getting ready for holiday??

(44 Posts)
CocktailQueen Fri 01-Aug-14 09:08:43

DH is looking after the dc the day before we leave for holiday next week. I will be packing everything apart from his clothes - we're going self catering so I will print out all accommodation and trips we have booked etc, organise maps, food for journey, have booked hotel on the way, looked at best route to take, things to do.

I have bought things like insect repellent, travel sickness bands. He asked me today, was it ok if he took the dc to <exciting thing we all want to do as a family> next Thursday while I pack.

WIBU to say no, that I want to go too, and I'd prefer he actually did his share of the packing instead of playing with the dc while I do it all? DC are 7 and 10, so not babies.

It's always the same with holidays. I do all the planning. I ask someone to feed fish and water plants, do online shop, etc etc. Am getting a bit fed up of it.

Said this to dh today and he got stroppy/defensive.

MaidOfStars Fri 01-Aug-14 09:11:08

YANBU. Tell him to pull his finger out, help you pack, then you can ALL have a fun day.

SorryForTheTypos Fri 01-Aug-14 09:13:23

YANBU buuuuuuuuut my husband would balls it up and just put 1 pair of shorts in each, some travel wash and a towel so I always pack - I couldn't relax otherwise.

However, he can do the prep for it surely - the washing/drying/ironing etc?

Also, thank you thank you thank you for the fish food reminder - we go next week and I didn't have a fish food block on "The List".

CocktailQueen Fri 01-Aug-14 09:14:57

Ha, Sorry - you should have A List. I do! Several!!

MsVestibule Fri 01-Aug-14 09:15:32

Tell him again that no, you will not stay behind doing yet more boring holiday stuff by yourself.

And next year, he organises the holiday. Is there any reason you do it all? Do you have more spare time than him?

rollonthesummer Fri 01-Aug-14 09:18:10

Can he really not see your point of view on this one??! What was his reasoning?

Billynomates71 Fri 01-Aug-14 09:18:26

YANBU. But I do all the packing in our house too.

Sick of it also, why are so many men just useless at this stuff? We went skiing on our last holiday. Summer sunshiny holidays I guess you can get away with a couple of pairs of shorts, shirts and a toothbrush. But skiing needs so much equipment, and layers. With 4 kids. And I packed and organised the lot.

Yes your dh should help, but I would guide his help and still monitor everything that goes in the suitcases ( control freak emoticon )

melika Fri 01-Aug-14 09:19:42

Holidays, umm, they cause so many problems! I had an argument with him last night, about going on a holiday where I wouldn't have to cook. FGS, it's my holiday too!

I must have MUG written across my forehead, I pack, arrange all the odd and ends, book the damn thing, and all I get off the three of them is, why did you book this, Mom? I am holding out for a last minute thing, but I want some input from them, no response, F**k them!!!!

TheFirstOfHerName Fri 01-Aug-14 09:21:04

Give him the list of things to do and ask him which tasks he's going to take responsibility for.

CocktailQueen Fri 01-Aug-14 09:36:06

Even when I ask him to pack his own stuff he will ask me to check I'm happy with it - gah. He just wouldn't remember half the stuff we needed if he did it. Will make a list of tasks done/to be done and split it, though - good idea. He does all the driving while away (while I sleep, knackered after holiday prep) so that's his contribution...

CocktailQueen Fri 01-Aug-14 09:36:59

Nope, no reason I do it all - no more spare time than him, I just like to be organised and book things in time - not leave it till the last minute. And I want to make sure we have everything we're going to need...

EarthWindFire Fri 01-Aug-14 09:45:26

When I was little my dad used to do all the packing as when my mum did it everything came out looking like a dishrag. shock. He also used to do all the ironing as mum used to accidentally on purpose

Mum used to do all the 'other stuff' such as lists and making sure we had all the extra non clothes stuff.

EarthWindFire Fri 01-Aug-14 09:46:48

Should say - accidentally on purpose iron in creases.

EarthWindFire Fri 01-Aug-14 09:49:17

Also to add like you both had the same amount of spare time and worked long hours.

Of course there was always the annual day before going row. We still joke about those now and my siblings and I usually ask before they go away if they have had the compulsory disagreement yet...

nachohousekeeper Fri 01-Aug-14 09:51:47

YANBU. He needs to help. DCs of that age can surely occupy themselves or even get involved. They don't need looking after by one parent while the other packs.

I don't get all this 'men don't do it right' stuff. If you sit together and make the lists, how hard is it to each go off and gather up items from the list? If he's capable of taking DCs off out for the day surely he's capable of helping with the packing?

CalamitouslyWrong Fri 01-Aug-14 09:57:46

We went down to the PILs recently. I had to do sell the packing. When we got there DH had the cheek to complain that I hadn't brought his shaver and some stuff he puts on his hair. I pointed out that he was luckily he had anything at all, since he did nothing at all to prepare.

I'd be very annoyed if he thought he could go on a nice day out while I organised stuff for him at home.

x2boys Fri 01-Aug-14 10:44:48

We had those too earth my mum and dad nearly had a divorce once about a pair of trousers my mum liked but my dad didn't trousers were for dad they day before we went on holiday they also have a tradition of getting up early and shouting loudly at each other for several hours before they leave !

Ormally Fri 01-Aug-14 11:26:54

No, definitely say that you want to do the fun thing, that is important.

Then ask him to go and shop for non-perishables; make list (drinks, suncream, travel snacks for several days).

The night/a couple of nights before packing day, get him to set aside everything he wants to take, including razors, nightclothes, books/man toys! He should get the cases out and you can throw in bedding, towels, PJs, swim stuff, underwear maybe.

Get him to put together 2 bags of toys that the DCs choose that they want to take with them.

That should break the back of it in smallish chunks of time before it all falls on one day.

CalamitouslyWrong Fri 01-Aug-14 12:13:49

Could you not all pack together in the evening two days before you leave, and then all go on the fun day out together?

rookiemater Fri 01-Aug-14 12:16:00

YANBU, but to be fair perhaps he thought he was being good by taking the DCs out so you could get on with it. I'd far rather spend the afternoon packing than shivering at the public pool, but that's just me !

BackforGood Fri 01-Aug-14 12:21:36

Well, going against the grain here, but I'd have loved someone to take the dc out somewhere for the day if ever I have a lot to get done.
I think it's easier if one person does a big job sometimes- you know what you've done and it's more systematic.
That said, by 7 and 10, my dc would be packing themselves.

Balaboosta Fri 01-Aug-14 12:22:12

XP did neither the packing or looking after DCs while I did it. It's not a bad deal. You can take it slowly, get things well organised, DCs get a nice day bonding with dad. I can see why you're put out bit it's not awful IMO.

Balaboosta Fri 01-Aug-14 12:22:34

or = nor

BreadForBrains Fri 01-Aug-14 12:35:00

I do all the packing for the dc and I, I also spend the entire day before we leave, washing and drying any last minute things and cleaning the house from top to bottom, emptying the fridge out and all those other jobs. I do it with the 3dc with me. They are 10,8 and 2. Obviously the only one who causes problems is the youngest.
Dp gets out all the things he wants the night before.
The reason he doesn't do any other preparation is because he is at work right up until the last minute as he is self employed.
he also does the majority of driving/boring holiday shopping and stuff.
Your dp sounds selfish and lazy.

CalamitouslyWrong Fri 01-Aug-14 12:57:56

It only appears to be a good deal of you accept that both packing for everyone and looking after the children are the OP's responsibility. If you do that, then her DH looks like he's doing her a favour by taking the kids out to do something fun.

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