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To rant about DH re dinner responsibilities?

(126 Posts)
Clarabell33 Tue 29-Jul-14 20:36:11

I should mention that I have had a shocker of a day and am in a foul mood so quite possible IABU but I need to vent a bit. Please bear with me.

Most nights, including weekends, I get dinner for DH and I (no kids). I used to cook a lot, especially when I was single, but now I cook 'properly' once a week or less as I'm usually the last home (by quite some time), tired and DH is 'starving' so it's often just whatever I can throw together quickly. He has never had dinner ready (I have, if I'm the first one home) and never offered to make it. If I ever say anything about his turn to cook, he says takeaway. He has never cooked since we moved, which was over 18 months ago. Usually I don't bother and just make our dinner and he eats whatever appears in front of him, but today I am just really fucking pissed off at the 'so you've had a shit day, that sucks... what's for dinner?' attitude. I do all the food shopping (it's a calamity if I so much as ask him to pick up milk - and no, he wouldn't do it without being asked as the level of milk is not on his radar unless he wants tea/cereal and there isn't enough) so he claims he doesn't know what we have in (although I have stopped padlocking the kitchen so he can get in there to find out if he wants) and it's definitely not that he can't cook - he would be the first to tell you how much better a cook he is than I am, although I do think it's slightly unfair to judge me when half the time it's cheese on toast or equivalent just because it's quick and he wants fed now.

Anyway, today I said I didn't know, what is for dinner, and he mumbled something about a takeaway. This has worked in the past but today I nodded and retreated upstairs so as not to scream at him. He came up a little while later to ask what I want to do for dinner as he's hungry. I said I didn't know, but that I am hungry too. He hovered a bit and suggested takeaway again - fine. Which one? Anything is fine by me (yes, I am aware that I was being arsey). He then said he'd have a look in the freezer - and without even leaving the room, announced that he supposed he could make pie (obviously has acquired a psychic connection to the contents of the freezer) but it would take ages from frozen (again with the psychic powers) and he's hungry now. I agreed.

He's now stomped off downstairs and I've heard the front door go once or twice - perhaps he's hiding food in the garage, or foraging in the garden. Or possibly he's managed to locate and unwrap the pie, and locate the oven, hack the controls and make heat happen although not sure why he'd need to go outside for that. It obviously is too much to ask for one night off from being mum even after a seriously shit day (which he knew about earlier as I'd texted him). So AIBU to be this pissed off? AIBU to think this expectation that I am solely responsible for all food-related areas isn't normal, especially as we don't even have kids yet, both have fulltime jobs, and are pretty equal as adults? WIBU to say something now, or should I wait til I'm in a less shit mood (not that that will make any difference to how he reacts)? AIBU to be this arsey about it or should I just stop moaning and mum up and make his sodding dinner?

Whew. Thank you for reading. Ready to be told to stop being such a shite wife and cook his dinner now.

Mintyy Wed 30-Jul-14 21:22:17

Op is talking describing a man who has never cooked since they moved to their current home 18 months ago.

That's pathetic!

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