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To be enraged by the fact my DH doesn't have an email address?

(31 Posts)
PatButchersLostEaring Tue 29-Jul-14 10:16:16

In theory it's a great statement. 'Beat the system' and all that. However in reality it means all organisation and 'wife work' that has to be done via email and by proxy FB, ebay etc (as you need email for these) fall to me. Online bill, communication with landlords RSVPs to event and payment for this and that.

I could understand his side if it was down to principles but the fact is it is down to laziness and a refusal to learn something new. He's only in his early 30s FFS!

puntasticusername Tue 29-Jul-14 10:18:56

YANBU. Sounds like more of a way to offload boring work onto you. One can very easily manage without an email address as long as one's wife consents to have one...

Reminds me of that bit in Good Omens where the Them try and live on Health Food for "a WHOLE afternoon". Their conclusion was "you can live very well on Health Food as long as you've had a big cooked lunch beforehand".

basgetti Tue 29-Jul-14 10:19:28

YANBU, I don't understand how any adult can function in today's society without email. This would make me irrationally angry!

AMumInScotland Tue 29-Jul-14 10:21:23

Get him one. Then tell him to use it and stop being a lazy arse.

echt Tue 29-Jul-14 10:23:48

Don't you have a joint email? DH and I do, we can see who's mailing and read/not read it.

PatButchersLostEaring Tue 29-Jul-14 10:25:13

I did make his various ones and he conveniently lost the password very quickly.

choochootrain1 Tue 29-Jul-14 10:25:23

I agree set him up one and tell him he needs to use his own

Maybe tell him yours is full and they won't let you have another one yet. If he's so ignorant of them it might work for a while

FryOneFatManic Tue 29-Jul-14 10:26:04

Are you sure he hasn't got one? wink

I've currently got 4 email addresses:

~One for shopping (all spam goes there)
~One solely for job applications, with a sensible name cos employers can be a bit off about daft email addresses
~My general email address, used for family, friends, scout, guide and PTA stuff, etc
~Lastly I have the one that I got when we first went online. Don't use it much anymore.

Sapat Tue 29-Jul-14 10:27:20

DH is the same. He says he doesn't do Facebook but checks my account every night to see what are friends are up to! Ermmm.... Same with eBay and amazon. And my email address is the default family one. I don't mind, that way I don't miss any important communication, but he will be screwed the day I get run over by a bus.

Vitalstatistix Tue 29-Jul-14 10:39:04

I suppose what you could do is every time you do any of that stuff, you make him sit with you while you do it, or you don't do it. So you show him the online bill and discuss the payment, you show him the email about whatever arrangement and discuss it. That way, he isn't escaping it with his silly 'can't do it, no email' crap.

But then, that's a bloody pain in the arse faff for you. It's just I'd be willing to do it just to make a point grin

MaidOfStars Tue 29-Jul-14 10:44:09

He's not beating the system, he's excluding himself from the system. That's shortsighted, to say the least.

ElephantsNeverForgive Tue 29-Jul-14 10:44:10

I'm slightly guilty of this as I let DH do EBay, PayPal and internet banking (the latter because I'm dyslexic, I muddle long pass-codes and it locks you out really easily).

Conversely DH refuses to own a decent smart phone, despite the fact he can and has rewritten the operating system for one at work.

It's somewhat annoying that despite this, replying to a text message is rocket science. Actually DH could give a perfectly good lecture on rocket science, it's just he has trouble with interacting with other people 101

throckenholt Tue 29-Jul-14 10:44:17

he will be screwed the day I get run over by a bus.

Bet that is true for the vast majority of married men ! My DH included since I do most of the admin and he has only the vaguest of ideas about accounts and even less about the passwords !

lylasmam2012 Tue 29-Jul-14 10:58:38

I work in HR/Payroll and we email payslips. The amount of new hires we have where you they are using their next of kins email address is shocking to me. It takes 2 minutes to setup an email address.

Numanoid Tue 29-Jul-14 11:41:12

It would be easy enough for him to set one up, and he doesn't have to use it for personal reasons if he doesn't want to... Having one solely to help out with 'admin' work isn't unreasonable.
Although please don't get a joint email address! Nothing more cringey than receiving an email from "" or "".

PeoplesFrontOfJudea Tue 29-Jul-14 11:43:42

Hahaha. H & I have a 'his and hers' domain name. <twee>

Icimoi Tue 29-Jul-14 11:47:40

Set him up an email address with a password he can't possibly forget, e.g. his date of birth. Put the password in at least three different places where he can access it even if he does forget, and put up a sign which gives him a clue to what the password is (e.g. "Dog's name plus your birthday"). The tell him you are just not going to do anything for him that requires an email address.

offtoseethewizard64 Tue 29-Jul-14 12:01:34

I don't understand the sharing of an e-mail address thing either. It is so last century. My DB, who works on a computer all day long, only has his wife's e-mail address for personal e-mails. I assume he has a work e-mail address so it's not as if he can't use e-mail - just too lazy to set up his own e-mail address.
My other DB does have an e-mail address, but hardly ever seems to check personal e-mails. I sent him an important e-mail once and when I didn't get a reply, I sent him a text to check he had received it. I got a reply back from his wife's e-mail asking me to send all future e-mails to her address to ensure I got a response. WTF? - My DB studied Computers at Uni!

echt Tue 29-Jul-14 12:16:19

What's to understand, off? you share an address so what? How can it be so last century when it's 2014 and yet here we are? if you mean it's not why you do then go for it. If I really wanted to go undercover, I'd make a new one. Don't need to yet, so haven't.

Work, of course, is entirely separate as it is password protected because it's government.

FryOneFatManic Tue 29-Jul-14 12:54:32

Actually, I think this another example of "wifework".

Any email sent to me that should be brought to DP's attention (ie from his extended family, etc) have always been bounced on to his own email address.

He has his own email address and I don't answer stuff on his behalf.

sharon56bus Tue 29-Jul-14 13:06:17

Oh , He has an Email Address. He just isn't telling you what it is ..........

thatstoast Tue 29-Jul-14 13:17:48

Make a list of all the things you need your email for. Tell him he's inspired you to stop using email and that you need to discuss alternatives. Ie, pay bill by phone/direct debit. No more ebay. Don't enable him any longer.

Davsmum Tue 29-Jul-14 13:28:02

I think YABU to be 'enraged' but I think your DH is being unreasonable to not have an email address if he needs one to be able to deal with things.

My DP has an email address which he uses for his own personal stuff - but I do tend to deal with all the joint stuff just because I am more used to dealing with emails. I dont mind because there is other stuff I leave to him that I suppose I should also be involved in.

Just refuse to deal with any emails that are just about his stuff.

ElephantsNeverForgive Tue 29-Jul-14 13:29:11

I don't see any problem with joint email addresses for personal stuff in couples who do many things together or share paying bills etc.

It would drive me spare as DH does a totally different hobby and buys heaps of computer stuff. He doesn't want a bra offer from M&S and I don't want the latest cheap connectors from Maplin's.

Setting up a Gmail account is child's play, DD2 has loads (she's a serial password forgetter and also has one for the sort of sites that get you to register only to send junk).

DoJo Tue 29-Jul-14 14:36:50

Being enraged about his lack of email address is just refocussing the rage that comes from being expected to pick up the slack for something that he is simply choosing not to do. I bet he doesn't 'beat the system' by not having a television, taking his laundry to a river to beat it on the rocks, or riding a pony a trap down the nearest A road - perhaps you should 'beat the system' by refusing to do any jobs that cannot be done by email - even the scores is the only way...

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