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AIBU?

to think he should have stepped up even just this once.

33 replies

oxfordmumma1 · 28/07/2014 18:47

So dd3 aged 22 months is a mummys girl. Partly as dh really had very little to do with her in her early years and me breastfeeding of course. When we go out as a family it is normally me who deals with her.
So on Friday I had a colonoscopy under sedation. Dh grudgingly agreed to take day off. He dropped me off and picked me up. However, he also needed a blood test. So I thought he would take dd2 and dd3 with him to get blood test and than pick me up. But no, he comes to collect me less than an hour after procedure and said I need to have a blood test. Do you want to wait in cs4r with dc. As I had been told I shouldn't be responsible for young dc for 24 hours I declined. Although probably our 8 year old could have alerted someone if anything happened.
Anyway we all traipsed to blood test area. Dd, of course wouldn't sit still. However, it was me who got up when she went exploring. I waited for dh to move but no he just sat there.when I moaned he said well I could be called in. But his was number was nowhere near. After 2nd attempt I actually asked dd to go after her for me. Can't believe I said that.
Aibu to expect a bloody day off parenting following a colonoscopy.

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HighwayDragon · 28/07/2014 18:49

Your partner is a shit

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BookABooSue · 28/07/2014 18:51

YANBU. If he was unable to cope with the dcs and a blood test, he should have scheduled the blood test for a different day.

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burgatroyd · 28/07/2014 18:52

I don't like the sound of him

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LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 28/07/2014 18:53

I remember your last thread.
Sorry your DH was so unhelpful.
Those first few hours after a colonoscopy when you have sedation are the worst! You don't feel yourself at all do you?
He was being very unreasonable, and actually very mean.
YANBU at all.
((gentle hugs))

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TruJay · 28/07/2014 18:53

Bloody hell, what a sod! I bet u felt horrendous, yanbu to be angry at all.
There is no excuse! I hope u are feeling better now.
Think u need to have a talk about sharing parental responsibility, what he did was rotten.

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oxfordmumma1 · 28/07/2014 18:58

Tbh I didn't feel horrendous. I was still a bit wobbly though.

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Humansatnav · 28/07/2014 19:00

He is beyond ridiculous.

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MintyChops · 28/07/2014 19:01

Oh that's really crap of him. Why the hell didn't he either get it done before collecting you or else on a different day? I would be very, very cross with him.

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PleaseJustShootMeNow · 28/07/2014 19:05

YANBU your partner sounds like a selfish arse.

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LuisSuarezTeeth · 28/07/2014 19:22

I remember your other thread.

He's a tool.

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Happy36 · 28/07/2014 20:31

Hope you are feeling better after your colonoscopy.

I haven't read your other thread but based on this one I'd say you would be reasonable to sit down with your partner to tell him that you felt he didn't fulfil his responsibilities this time and could behave differently to provide a more helpful role in the family in any similar situation in future.

Take care.

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Pobblewhohasnotoes · 28/07/2014 20:38

Is your DH always this much of a selfish unthinking tool?

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TheRealAmandaClarke · 28/07/2014 20:40

YANBU
I hope you're well.
I'll do his next blood test if you like Grin

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LynetteScavo · 28/07/2014 20:59

Poor you.

In your shoes I would be Angry.

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Fairylea · 28/07/2014 21:02

He sounds absolutely horrendous.

When I had a colonoscopy I got home and literally just about passed out on the sofa. And slept for 12 hours. There was no way I could have gone to the doctors and supervised children!

I'm really angry for you.

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Castlemilk · 28/07/2014 21:05

Next time, have a DH-ectomy.

Have it under local so you can immediately throw a 'FREE AT LAST - AU REVOIR MANCHILD!' party.

He's a knob. Hope you get shot soon.

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Staryyeyedsurprise · 28/07/2014 21:53

OP to my ropey memory this is at least the third thread in a relatively short space of time regarding you feeling unsupported by your husband. I think you need to talk to him. Something's not right, either with perception, communication or the relationship.

FWIW YANBU on this.

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oxfordmumma1 · 31/07/2014 00:47

Thank you for replies. Serious discussion definately needed. I feel fine now but the one opportunity I had to relax a little was taken away.
It was bizarre really. He was happy for me to run around after 22 month old dd within an hour of colonoscopy but wasalso saying I sshouldn't drive for more than 24 hours.
Funny also how the even of my colonoscopy coincided with his medical condition flaring up.
Just feel like I need a break.

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Wibblypiglikesbananas · 31/07/2014 00:50

You don't need a break, you need a divorce! The way he treated you was appalling!

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oxfordmumma1 · 31/07/2014 00:55

I think he just didn't realize how big a procedure it was.
I have had blood test before and just take little one with me. (Fortunately she slept last time) .
I suppose he isn't used to it. Need to have a big discussion as things can't continue as they are,
Thank you

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StillFrigginRexManningDay · 31/07/2014 08:19

I have not read your other threads but based on this your husband is a grade A arsehole.

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KnackeredMuchly · 31/07/2014 08:50

You need a break up.

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kentishgirl · 31/07/2014 11:35

So dd3 aged 22 months is a mummys girl.

Partly as dh really had very little to do with her in her early years - why is this?

and me breastfeeding of course. - makes no difference at all to the role of the other parent. Why are you allowing this as an excuse?

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oxfordmumma1 · 31/07/2014 13:12

Well he claims it is because of breastfeeding. I feel though it is due to him having little involvement in the early days. Works long hours with a long commute.
She also wasn't planned and tbh it took him longer to adjust to new family dynamic. Wrong but that's how it was.

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ikeaismylocal · 31/07/2014 15:17

YANBU.

It has nothing to do with you breastfeeding, I breastfed (still breastfeed) my 19 month old and dp and ds have a very very close bond, if ds wakes up and dp is not next to him he shouts for pappa and then uses dp's real name. Don't let him fob you off, for goodness sake I'm sure even if his number was called he could have brought dd back to you and then gone in what an idiot.

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