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things you can/can't do in your own garden - a list

(156 Posts)
GretchenWiener Mon 21-Jul-14 09:30:06

So according to many recent threads ( YES IT IS A THREAD ABOUT A FRICKEN THREAD)

you may

1. let your child scream

you may not
1. bbq

PLease add so i know wink

DogCalledRudis Mon 21-Jul-14 22:00:42

Smoke weed. Actually plant something other than lawn.

HappyLashes Mon 21-Jul-14 21:44:12

Can I must never block your neighbours view over your back fence grin. Apologies if it has already been mentioned.

GretchenWiener Mon 21-Jul-14 20:40:25

* wanders back into garden*

Right I will have to add to the list

ocelot41 Mon 21-Jul-14 20:38:36

Let bindweed grow absolutely everywhere so that your neighbours are constantly fending it off.

Bardette Mon 21-Jul-14 19:57:42

Neighbours should not behead and gut eels anywhere I can see them. Neither should they wear teeny tiny shorts and then speak to me when I am picking up the shopping so I look up and find myself nose-to-shorts.

APotNoodleandaTommy Mon 21-Jul-14 17:00:16

No chimineas (sp?) as they just encourage garden-based socialising
No high/low/medium fences resulting in too much neighbour exposure/too little light/nothing to whinge about
No ponds with fish in which emit unpleasant odours on a warm day

slithytove Mon 21-Jul-14 16:55:22

I've just realised, we have no issues with our neighbours.

Does that mean we are the problem confused

oldsilver Mon 21-Jul-14 16:39:48

holly are you my NDN?

Same child also bought a recorder into. my. house shock

ToniWol Mon 21-Jul-14 16:38:29

Can I check re the lawn mowing. Is it okay outside of the specified times if said lawn mower is a non-electric one and therefore nowhere near as noisy...

Also - can we ban older kids from purposely kicking footballs at garages which don't belong to their parents and thereby probably causing untold damage to said garage door. This in addition to severe penalties for daring to retrieve their own ball when it's ended up on a neighbours flat roof (and this was the upstairs flat roof!)

oldsilver Mon 21-Jul-14 16:38:01

grin I did actually ban a friend of DS's from the garden last week for singing songs from Frozen. Most unseemly for an 8 year old lad or any child for that matter . He is under the misguided impression I was joking grin

I have threatened to sing very badly at him if he does it again. DS has taken this very seriously, mind you, he's heard me sing!

UncleT Mon 21-Jul-14 16:37:46

Recorder practice is dreaded everywhere, not just in the garden - and rightly so, too.

IrianofWay Mon 21-Jul-14 16:36:54

But I like whistling.

IrianofWay Mon 21-Jul-14 16:36:14

May we have a ruling on using chain saw to chop up firewood for at least 30 minutes every day? No we don't live in a heavily-wooded area, my NDN does not wear a checked shirt (we're lucky in he wears anything more than a small pair of shorts) and he is not running a logging business. He simply has a log burner and has become the area despository for waste wood. Some of which smells like he is burning dead fish when he uses it.

However he is saving himself 'about �40 a month in gas' ....

Is that OK?

Please say no or I will have to conclude I am just a misery guts who needs to live in the back of beyond and have cats.

JustAShopGirl Mon 21-Jul-14 16:31:06

can I add no "whistling" too please.... there was a post ages ago where someone complained their 200 year old neighbour whistled in his own garden

hollycomputer Mon 21-Jul-14 16:30:55

Have we had singing yet? One of my neighbours sings loudly and badly in the garden.

wink1970 Mon 21-Jul-14 16:29:29

Well I do most of those things, especially any relating to BBQs /fire pits, staying up late & talking bollocks whilst pissed, or generally being loud.

on the plus side, I do not:

kill my neighbour's children, despite the constant shrieking outside of my office
kill my neighbour for riding his bike up and down the pavement outside of my office (he's 30-odd, ffs)
kill my neighbours for not weeding their block paving

that makes us evens, in my opinion.

SweetSummerSweetPea Mon 21-Jul-14 16:27:59

You may have a BBQ, as long as its not right by lots of houses, move it as far from other peoples windows as possible.

You may have occasional parties, like twice a year...

You may smoke but not right by other peoples windows and esp not in hot weather....move to far end of garden or go for a walk with your fag confused

You may play music, occasionally, and only for a short period at a volume you wold be happy with yourself.

DO NOT EVER burn in your garden, Its not neccasry and totally selfish.

slartybartfast Mon 21-Jul-14 16:25:10

this is so funny.

but have you forgotten, the dreaded recorder practice? in the garden!

littlemisssarcastic Mon 21-Jul-14 16:23:56

According to my neighbour You must not allow any child in your garden to be naked from the waist down.
You must not allow your child to look through the wire fence to say hello if your neighbour is in their swimwear because it makes your neighbour feel incredibly uncomfortable.

OTOH, Your neighbour can do what the fuck they like -- because they don't allow their child to do these things-- This is very important to remember. grin

IrianofWay Mon 21-Jul-14 16:19:36

THIs child is not lovely (aurally - in every other way he may be a paragon) regardless of age.

I have two teenagers one of who tends to swear at his x-box with the window open. He is not always lovely. The other one, however, is.

Cereal0ffender Mon 21-Jul-14 16:17:36

You must not be in possession of a sun burnt child all children must wear uv burkas while sipping water. Is your child has pierced ears you must lop them off with a scythe

GretchenWiener Mon 21-Jul-14 16:12:35

no one is allowed to moan about children playing - this was established last week. If it is teenagers - its open season.

*children are lovely*

coffeeinbed Mon 21-Jul-14 16:07:30

Oh that "Let it go"

I kept wondering why do people misname "Let it be" and what's with the sudden surge of popularity of it.

I shall retire to a corner now...

IrianofWay Mon 21-Jul-14 16:05:48

Quick related question: is it permissible to (humanely) gag small child two doors down who whines and screeches at top volume when any member of his family attempts to interact with him? Or a bird looks at him. Or a breeze blows on him. Or the grass it too wet. Obviously gag could be removed when he went indoors.

Will abide by MN ruling.


TSSDNCOP Mon 21-Jul-14 15:57:59

Stanley careful now! you're on thin ice slating the amazing Frozen feem toon.

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