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AIBU to think that if your in your mid 40's you should be thinking about paying your mortgage off, not taking one out for the first time?

(151 Posts)
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Sun 20-Jul-14 22:29:09

My friend announced the other day that she is going to save like mad to get on the housing ladder. She is 45 years old. Surely in your mid-forties your thinking about paying off your mortgage, not taking one out for the first time?

AIBU? does anyone else think that boat has sailed?

She's only got a minimum wage job by the way, hasn't suddenly had a windfall or anything.

Am I nasty for thinking this? I haven't actually said anything to her, just thought it was strange and wanted to hear your views.

TurboWithAKick Sun 20-Jul-14 22:30:37

It will be the reality from now on I think....

inabranstonpickle Sun 20-Jul-14 22:31:05

I don't think you're nasty for thinking it.

I think it would be nasty to say this to her as I am sure you know - people's circumstances differ massively.

I own my home outright and don't have a mortgage but in the future I may want a mortgage to buy somewhere with land (am an enthusiastic horsewoman) and so I might be looking at getting a mortgage for the first time in my forties - not so weird, surely?

CatKisser Sun 20-Jul-14 22:31:51

I think you sound nasty in what you've just posted, to be honest.
Life doesn't work out in the neat little way you seem to think it should.

ballinacup Sun 20-Jul-14 22:31:57

YABU, she has a good 20 years (at least) before retirement. I also sincerely doubt that most people in their mid 40s are on the cusp of paying off their mortgage.

ApocalypseThen Sun 20-Jul-14 22:32:06

Yeah, why doesn't she just go back in time and buy a house years ago like a reasonable person?

theeternalstudent Sun 20-Jul-14 22:32:20

No I don't think it's too late. In fact I'm about to take out another mortgage and I'm not that much younger than your friend. It gives her 20 years easily to pay off her mortgage. TBH I'm a bit shocked by your attitude and I would consider anyone who is mortgage free at 45 years old to be very lucky.

CatKisser Sun 20-Jul-14 22:33:04

Plus, round here there are still houses available for £20k, so perhaps not such am unrealistic dream?

Jinglebells99 Sun 20-Jul-14 22:33:33

But she can't pay her mortgage off, if she doesn't have one! Fair play to her for wanting her own property. What's the alternative, to rent for the rest of her life?! In an ideal world she would be paying it off.

HicDraconis Sun 20-Jul-14 22:33:46

I'm early 40s and I've just changed my mortgage from interest only (had to be on that while the house was being built) to fixed term repayments. Shrug. It'll be paid off before I retire.

If your friend wants to buy her own home, can afford the repayments with her salary and has a plan to have it paid off before she stops work, why shouldn't she? You're being unfair on her to think the boat has sailed.

Joysmum Sun 20-Jul-14 22:34:00

Given that the average age to buy your first home is 35, you're not exactly being realistic.

Only1scoop Sun 20-Jul-14 22:34:14


And you don't sound as if you are in the real world....I know many over 40s just on the property ladder and many with huge wacking deposits.... Good on em.

TSSDNCOP Sun 20-Jul-14 22:34:51

Don't you think one of the reasons you want her as a friend is because she has aspirations and a clear work ethic? She could buy a nice little place and make a killing if the prices move.

whereisshe Sun 20-Jul-14 22:35:09

I'm 37 and just about to get my first mortgage. Not because I couldn't afford one earlier, I didn't want one. I like the flexibility of renting. Now we have DD and I want to be a bit more settled. I doubt I'll meet your criteria of paying the mortgage off in my 40s though hmm. Does that make me feckless or something?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Sun 20-Jul-14 22:35:10

I thought mortgages were for 25 years, not 20

EBearhug Sun 20-Jul-14 22:35:12

I'm in my 40s. I've never had a mortgage, because I've never been in a position to buy.

inabranstonpickle Sun 20-Jul-14 22:35:23

Could I respectfully ask people to think about the word "lucky"?

I am mortgage free because I have lost both parents at 32.

My mum never saw me get my GCSEs, A levels, degree, first job, turn 17, 18, 21, 30. Neither parent will never know their grandchildren. They won't see our weddings and they won't be there to love us.

I don't consider myself lucky. My lack of mortgage doesn't even begin to cover what we have lost.

TheEnchantedForest Sun 20-Jul-14 22:35:31

YABU she could have it paid off by retirement. If she carries on as now she will be renting forever.
good on her.

Only1scoop Sun 20-Jul-14 22:35:42

Does anyone else think 'this boat has sailed'
That bit made me chuckle smile

HauntedNoddyCar Sun 20-Jul-14 22:36:14

We've just moved and extended our mortgage in our mid 40s. We're in the SE so we may well have a bigger mortgage than your friend will be looking to take out.

People see property as an investment so maybe she hopes to do better out of it than renting over the same period.

Only1scoop Sun 20-Jul-14 22:36:15

'That' confused

scarletforya Sun 20-Jul-14 22:36:25


You're supposed to be her friend. You should wishing her well, not putting the mockers on her.

inabranstonpickle Sun 20-Jul-14 22:37:09

NotSuch - they're however long you want them to be. 25 years is standard but many people opt for fifteen or twenty - some go for thirty although this isn't recommended for reasons I won't pretend to fully understand.

ChocFudgeCake Sun 20-Jul-14 22:38:14

YABU Try to be happy for her.
My husband is 43 and we are still renting and hoping to buy in a couple of years. Yes, ideally we would have done it years ago but it was impossible.

Only1scoop Sun 20-Jul-14 22:38:20

Mortgage terms are not only 25 years....not since the 80's

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