to help get over my fear of ghost's

[emms1981]

I've been reading the spooky posts on here. Knew it was a bad idea but keep getting drawn to it. I find the stories very interesting but also scary.
I've never seen a ghost but I hate going in dark rooms or being alone.
I live in quite a new house so feel safe, my dh works most evenings and I know when the floorboards creek its either one of the boys sneeking out of bed or my fat cat.
I visit my dad at weekends and when the house is full I feel fine but its an old house and don't know the "history" eg I know a few years ago the house over the road the single man who lived there killed himself I don't know how I knew he died but the killing himself part I only found out last year and after he passed one of the lights at the top of the house kept coming on and this freaked me out, so I know if a house is old there are bound to be things that have happed in it.

I've been staying at my dads this weekend to look after his dog just me and my boys and during the day I'm fine but at night shit myself. No reason to I haven't heard or seen anything but couldn't sit alone in the front room for long and went to bed shortly after the kids. My dad has always said the house is unlucky he's lived here since 1996 but I think that's just because my mum left him.
I wish I knew how to get over the fear. The bathroom has a mirror over the sink and I kept thinking I could see things but I think it was just the trousers hanging up behind me or my hair moving. I know it sounds silly but I honestly don't think I could live in an old house out of choise.

[ADishBestEatenCold]

Why would the actual house have to be old? Could something dreadful and terminal not have happened on the site upon which a new house was built?

[emms1981]

Oh dont say that

[LEMmingaround]

There are no such thing as ghosts

[grocklebox]

It's easy. There are no such things as ghosts. People die everywhere every minute of the day, if ghosts were real there would be surrounding you all the time.

[dawndonnaagain]

The ghost added an extra apostrophe.

[gordyslovesheep]

ghosts don't exist - hth x

[gordyslovesheep]

Mind you I'm scared of zombies so what do I know!

[gamerchick]

They can't hurt you.. Most of the time they're not even aware of us.

And it's not helpful just to say something doesn't exist and it stops people feeling scared. Do you tell your kids to man up and stop being scared of the monster under the bed or other very real to them things?

[FunkyBoldRibena]

No such thing as ghosts. Or ghost's. I hope that helps to allay your fears.

[gordyslovesheep]

well Gamer I wouldn't tell them the monster was real no

[ChelsyHandy]

Ghost's whats? They don't exist, you know. So why bother?

[emms1981]

Sorry I'm trying to write on my tablet I fudged up the title too but didn't know til after so thank you for pointing that out. Very helpful

[WorraLiberty]

There's no such thing as ghosts

People on ghost threads type a lot of shit to try to 'out do' the previous pile of bollocks that was posted.

People die in new builds too

Ask yourself why these so called 'ghosts' only tend to 'appear' in properties with a 'story' attached.

Then ask yourself why they're never naked, because the last time I checked, clothes don't 'pass over to the other side'....

[Limer]

Ghosts don't exist. You're scared of nothing (except your own imagination maybe).

[kathhere]

I had v similar phobia even tho 'sensible' part of me knew it was pointless. In end I had hypnotherapy which helped. I had to think about what would be the worst if I did ever see one and how long that feeling would last for. I worked out that the panic/ fear if it ever happened wouldn't last for ever and that helped me make it more manageable.

[kathhere]

Ps I try not to read spooky threads as I know it sends imagination into overdrive

[rose202]

Ah OP I have the same fear as you, although I've never seen a ghost & if DP is working away I have to go to bed before it gets dark (in the summer) & I hate going into the bathroom in the dark. Tis a downside to having a good imagination.

Here's what helps me:

Remember that ghosts don't exist.

Even if they did exist they cannot hurt you.

Avoid looking in mirrors at night or reflections in windows etc

Hum to yourself, sing or just make a noise, it helps.

If you are scared then imagine a blue jay cloth, the one with all the little blue squares & imagine it wiping over your mind so that your mind is a blank. A bit like wiping a cloth over a window. Then with your blank mind you can walk anywhere in your house as you are not thinking.

[KurriKurri]

I don't believe in ghosts and tend to be impatient with those who do - but that doesn't mean I wouldn't feel a bit scared in a house on my own at night - I'd probably keep a couple of lights on anyway! (Not feeling impatient with you BTW- you sound scared and that's no fun at all for anyone)

I think if you are scared of ghosts and believe they exist you shouldn't assume they would wish you any harm - my brother died in my parents house at a young age - he certainly wouldn't have harmed anyone, and the house I live in now someone died in it, and I have since found out it was owned by people who worked for a very wicked political regime - I don't feel the house is tainted though - its just a house, made of bricks, it has no soul, it cannot retain the personalities of the people who lived in it.

I don't know if there is much anyone can say to help you, I only know that the dead have never held any fears for me - it's the living bastards you need to watch out for, they scare me far more!

[Nancy66]

there is no such thing as ghosts. The sort who claim to have seen one are always the same needy, attention seeking types who go through life making up shit.

Just get on and enjoy your life.

Believing in ghosts is like believing in Santa or the Tooth Fairy

[MrsToddsShortcut]

I know exactly how you feel - I've always felt the same way! I don't particularly like the dark, or being alone at night either.

But...there really are no such things as ghosts. They just don't exist and if you deconstruct a lot of the stories on the spooky threads, they can usually be explained away as night terrors or by simple science or physics, or over active imagination.

What I found really helpful was reading a book by Professor Richard Wiseman called Paranormality.

In it he debunks a lot of the scary stuff and explains quite rationally, using science, why what we see when we think we're seeing something 'spooky ', really isn't at all. It's well worth a read if you are worried by this stuff

[Viviennemary]

I sympathise. My Dad used to say a ghost can't hurt you. great help!

[Gileswithachainsaw]

If the op believes in ghosts then it's not helpful to say they don't exist.

She believes, as do millions of others that they do,

emms most are friendly, and can't hurt us, we co exist happily without ever crossing eachothers paths.

The ones that aren't so friendly? Well most people sense that well before anything happens so try and distinguish between your fear and sensing that something is there, and/or that it's friendly or not.

Fear shouldn't rule your life and be it spiders, ghosts or bees or whatever, do what you can to deal
With it.

[elfycat]

Since phobias are irrational things, the fact that the OP is phobic about something that may not exist isn't relevant. Saying it doesn't exist isn't going to help as advice.

(I have phobias (spiders mainly) and am woo in general though not a particular believer in ghosts as such)

Part of my woo-ness is using energy based remedies, such as Bach Flower remedies. Mimulus is the one for phobias and irrational fears and it's in the rescue remedy blend. The idea is it would counter the energy/thought within you.

I also have a few of the Living Tree Orchid essences including ones to prevent external negativity link My poor DDs get their room sprayed if they try the 'I'm scared, can I sleep with you?' trick

If this is something that's noticeably worsening I'd also strongly suggest seeing your GP about it. Obsessive/ life effecting/ distressing thoughts could be part of an anxiety problem that they would be able to offer support with.

[VampireSquid]

I am not frightened of ghosts, but I do have an anxiety disorder, and have been told to stop being worried or (about my fear of heights) 'you won't get hurt/nothing will happen' because I knew all of that logically, didn't mean it helped. The house might be old, it probably DID have sad and maybe horrible things happen, but it would also have had good things too- birthdays, even births, children growing up, anniversaries, engagements and so on. If ghosts were real (I don't believe they are- I'm not spiritual, or religious for that matter) I don't see why that side of things wouldn't matter just as much.