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To be upset my friends didn't get me a birthday present?

(63 Posts)
lau55 Sun 20-Jul-14 11:00:43

Ok so if course I don't expect presents, I don't need anything and so on that I probably am being unreasonable but for some reason this has upset me (pregnancy hormones and depression probably not helping)

Ok, so a few weeks ago it was my bday but for some reason this has stayed in my mind. We went out for a meal with friends, most brought small pressies but 2 just bought me cards. 1 of these is the one I am upset about, I consider her my closest friend in the group, and always go out of my way to get her something nice. She normally does the same for me. In fact it was her bday recently and although we weren't invited to celebrate it with her (she didn't do anything) we still got her a pressie and gave it when we next saw her. It feels like maybe she does not want to be close friends anymore.

So go on then hit me, aibu?

Littleturkish Sun 20-Jul-14 11:05:54


TurboWithAKick Sun 20-Jul-14 11:07:01


Times are hard and money not always available. She went to the trouble of getting a card and attending your birthday meal!

DragonMamma Sun 20-Jul-14 11:07:10

Yes, im

NotTheKitchenAgainPlease Sun 20-Jul-14 11:07:58

You are I'm afraid. I'm sure she still wants to be close. Maybe she doesn't have the cash or ran out if time.
Don't take it to heart please - is she an otherwise good friend?
thanks happy belated birthday

addictedtosugar Sun 20-Jul-14 11:08:29

Its my birthday today.
The kids (DH!) and my parents have got me a present.
The guys who work for me have bought me a small bar of chocolate (I'm the office chocaholic). I've had cards from my 2 closest friends.
I'm well chuffed.

Can you celebrate what you have got, rather than what you haven't?

DragonMamma Sun 20-Jul-14 11:08:44

Oops...fat fingers.

Yes, I'm afraid. But being hormonal and depressed means you're probably out of sorts so you can be forgiven!

Jinsei Sun 20-Jul-14 11:08:47

Yes, yabu. Sorry.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Sun 20-Jul-14 11:10:00

Yup. You're a grown up for gods sake! I can't remember the last time one of my friends got me a birthday present. It's totally unnecessary.

Maybe she had forgotten?

Bowlersarm Sun 20-Jul-14 11:10:55


A card should be enough. Presents are always nice, but not essential.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Sun 20-Jul-14 11:10:56

Happy birthday addicted cake wine thanks

pictish Sun 20-Jul-14 11:12:48

Yes yabu.
You say you don't expect presents, but quite clearly you do! That's what your whole beef expected a present and didn't get one.

If it's still bothering you weeks later, I think you ought to put it to bed now.

pictish Sun 20-Jul-14 11:14:40

It's worth saying too, that I don't always have the spare cash for frivolities such as birthday presents for grown ups.
They spent money coming out to celebrate with you - that should be enough.

ElizabethLemon Sun 20-Jul-14 11:15:03

Yes yabu. It was my birthday on Friday and 2 out of the 5 friends I went out with gave me a card and present (a key ring and a pair of socks). I don't feel offended, I'm just glad they were there to have fun with me.

You can't measure how much someone cares for you by what gifts they give you.

RedToothBrush Sun 20-Jul-14 11:15:31

You sound like you are 6.


WorraLiberty Sun 20-Jul-14 11:15:52

What do you mean you don't 'expect' presents??

Of course you do, that's what this thread is all about...a couple of weeks after your birthday and you're still smarting about it.

Unless you paid for her meal and drinks all night, then YABVU.

Zucker Sun 20-Jul-14 11:16:36

YANBU, up to now its been the norm for you both to get something for each other. I wonder if there are money worries this time though and she only had the money to cover the dinner and night out?

Of course this is AIBU, so you'll get loads of posters telling you to cop on and why are you even celebrating your own birthday when you should have stopped when you were 7.

In fact hence forth you should never mention your own birthday again. If anyone does ever remember it's your birthday they most definitely should never be expected to give an actual present.

SaucyJack Sun 20-Jul-14 11:17:29

I think YABU. They spent time and money attending your birthday meal. It's not as tho they didn't bother at all.

pictish Sun 20-Jul-14 11:18:01

And God knows, a meal out isn't exactly cheap is it? Even in the most humble of establishments, it's still a fair chunk of spending.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sun 20-Jul-14 11:20:49

You are being overly sensitive about this.

You're still stewing over your birthday present 'snub' from weeks ago?

Forget about it.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sun 20-Jul-14 11:21:12

YABU try and move on from this.

PipkinsPal Sun 20-Jul-14 11:26:32

YABU. None of my friends or work colleagues buy me a birthday present but I do get cards.

Last Birthday I got £20 from my parents, from my sister I had the newest paperback book by my favourite author. I was more than happy with what I had. In fact I thought the £20 was a bit much but my parents insisted.

Your friend attended your birthday meal, her gift to you was showing what a good friend she is by celebrating your birthday with you.

TheIronGnome Sun 20-Jul-14 11:26:46

I'm with you op, YANBU

InSummer Sun 20-Jul-14 11:37:26

Sorry but I think YABU.
I've been the first to phase out the present buying in my group of friends. Always try to attend the birthday persons meal and send a card, but with relatives, more and more kiddies being born it's just too much to keep buying.

gobbin Sun 20-Jul-14 11:42:45

Yep, YABU. After 21 the only birthdays likely to be marked properly are 40, 50, 60 etc. Maybe 30 if you're lucky. I'm happy to receive cards from my friends and love Facebook messages, all are welcome. I expect presents from my DH, DS and mum, anything else is a bonus. (Thank you lovely NDN who knows I love fizzy Flying Saucers and buys me a big bucket every year lol!)

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