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to find this lack of human empathy really upsetting

(87 Posts)
hatingthehairdressertoday Fri 18-Jul-14 18:34:51

I had appointments booked for my kids to have hair cuts last week. My MIL died unexpectedly last week and I forgot about the appointments. Remembered the next day and called to explain. They were sympathetic on phone and I rebooked for today. DC have haircuts and when I go to pay she says that's £x and £x for last weeks no-show. I say I phoned to explain we had bereavement so completely went out of my mind. Too bad, you have to pay. AIBU to have come home and cried my eyes out over this. Please say I'm not. Have name changed for this.

Pumpkinpositive Fri 18-Jul-14 19:07:41

I have no sympathy for her but the tiniest wee bit of understanding. I too work freelance - not hair - and it's typical in my industry to have a cancellation charge if cancelled within so many days.

This is because if a client cancels then we lose out on the money we would have earned through accepting another booking for that time. Cancellations add up and could amount to a fairly hefty financial loss if we didn't apply the policy.

However. You presumably didn't have a written contract with this woman and she didn't mention anything on the call last week about a charge being applied. She didn't mention it when you came into the shop today. She didn't mention it until after the hair cuts were done. This is plain cynical and nasty. She deserves to be bad mouthed all over town.

Unless she has obvious signage in the shop displaying her "cancellation charges", I wouldn't think she legally has a leg to stand on. I would not have paid, although I appreciate someone who already feels fragile from bereavement probably doesn't have the necessary fiestyness at the moment.

She sounds like a nasty piece. thanks thanks

GarlicJulyKit Fri 18-Jul-14 19:10:30

Name & shame! She was BVVU. She basically charged you extra for going back: as a PP says, you could have simply not shown up. Dreadful attitude. I'm sorry she made you cry.

RabbitSaysWoof Fri 18-Jul-14 19:13:26

Agree name and shame.

MrsWinnibago Fri 18-Jul-14 19:13:56

Wow. What a bad idea....shock I'm also freelance but would never charge a client who'd been bereaved!

Whatisaweekend Fri 18-Jul-14 19:14:39

What a foolish hairdresser. For the sake of a tenner, she has lost your custom and that of your friends and family! When feeling a bit more yourself, I would write and tell her just how much her stupid short sighted ness and lack of compassion has cost her!

I am so sorry for your loss. thanks for you and yours.

ExcuseTypos Fri 18-Jul-14 19:16:49

Whilst I sympathise hugely I don't think you should name them.
It could ruin someone's livelihood by naming them.

ExcuseTypos Fri 18-Jul-14 19:18:01

Yes I agree with writing directly to her. Great idea Whatisaweekend.

charleybarley Fri 18-Jul-14 19:25:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Topaz25 Fri 18-Jul-14 19:29:13

She will ruin her own livelihood if that's her attitude to paying customers! Customer service is an important part of running a business. I have no sympathy for the hairdresser because she knew the circumstances and still chose to charge the OP.

Topaz25 Fri 18-Jul-14 19:31:06

Sadly some people won't just do the right thing for the sake of it but only if they see the consequences of doing the wrong thing, in this case negative publicity and loss of custom.

maras2 Fri 18-Jul-14 19:35:49

Sorry for your loss and sorry that you were treated so disrespectfully.What a wicked thing to do.

Deverethemuzzler Fri 18-Jul-14 19:49:03

Please DON'T name and shame. That never goes well and its really not fair to do it on MN.

BUT YANBU at all and I am sorry for your loss. They could have waived the fee without too much of an issue and they may well have used those appointments for someone else anyway.

My DD had cancer. I got some audio books out for her on Monday. On Tuesday she was taken into hospital and we spent the entire summer in HDU and on the ward with the most horrendous reaction to chemo you could (or couldn't) imagine. She almost died. She suffered terribly and I didn't see my OH or my younger DCs all that time.

When we came out I phoned the library to let them know. They said 'you owe us £10 in fines.
I told them again what had happened because I thought they had misheard me.
Nope. She said 'I don't understand what you want. Are you asking me to freeze the find until you get in? I can do that for a couple of days'.

I eventually got into the library and thought if I explained face to face they would get it.

Nope. They just kept staring at me blankly and asking me for money.
One said 'well you could have phoned us from the hospital'

MY DD was dying for ffs.

It took me a couple of years to get that fine sorted out. Everytime I went in there they asked me for money. Everytime I had to explain to them, even after my DD had died.

Sorry for hijack. I just wanted to say I understood your upset and got a bit carried away.


Mumoftwoyoungkids Fri 18-Jul-14 19:56:29

I go to Saks. They have something on their card saying that if you cancel with less than 24 hours notice and hey can't fill the slot then you may be charged.

However, one Saturday dh got up and was promptly sick. I had an appointment that afternoon. When I phoned to cancel they said "I hope he gets better soon." I wasn't charged.

Snapespeare Fri 18-Jul-14 20:03:01

devere that is dreadful. I am so sorry for your loss.

OP, I am astounded that someone could be so callous. the smallest comfort is thst this type of person must be so fundamentally unhappy to be so vile.

when my mother died (only child to a single parent) I returned to work to find that my boss had reorganised the sections work and my duties now included closing claims for people who had recently died. at that years appraisal, I was told, ' I know your mum died this year, but thats no excuse for the work you've put in'

there are horrible people in this world. I think they are outnumbered by those who have empathy and who are generous and kind.

Itsfab Fri 18-Jul-14 20:05:41

There is a sign at my children's physio and osteopath clinics to say there will be a charge if less than 24 hours notice given. I think the dentist is the same.

The fact she "only" took £10 makes it worse somehow. Lost business and bad feeling for a tenner.

GirlWithTheLionHeart Fri 18-Jul-14 20:07:19

That's madness! I would've refused. I've cancelled hairdresser appts a couple hours before and they're cool with it. Post a review on yelp or some such site

Tiptops Fri 18-Jul-14 20:08:43


Very short sighted of her business wise, and totally lacking of empathy. Sorry for your loss flowers

NickiFury Fri 18-Jul-14 20:09:37

I would never have paid this. Nothing would have made me.

Sorry for your loss.

Jinsei Fri 18-Jul-14 20:23:25

That's terrible. I have forgotten a hair appointment before, for no reason at all (other than my own absent-mindedness). I didn't make up any excuses, just told them the truth, and they didn't charge me. I then missed a second appointment at the same salon, because my iphone calendar stopped working properly and the appointment disappeared. Again, they didn't charge me. As a result, they still have my custom and I make sure I tip generously!.

Charging someone who has had a bereavement just isn't on. Sorry about your loss. sad

ICanSeeTheSun Fri 18-Jul-14 20:47:42

I have had to cancel hair appointments when an unexpected expense have come up and I can't afford it, never been charged.

Op sorry for your loss.

susiedaisy Fri 18-Jul-14 20:53:31

Yanbu op she has lost much more than she gained. If you don't feel up to a confrontation about it send a letter or email expressing your disappointment in her attitude.

trappedinsuburbia Fri 18-Jul-14 21:00:09

So sorry for your loss, the fact its only a tenner somehow makes it worse.
Devere that is disgusting.
Don't be too disheartened, the majority of people have some compassion x

ThePinkOcelot Fri 18-Jul-14 21:00:46

That is absolutely disgusting! She deserves to be named and shamed!

picnicbasketcase Fri 18-Jul-14 21:03:41

Is it a chain or an independent place? Do they have twitter or fb pages?

Rhine Fri 18-Jul-14 21:38:38

Please do name and shame, this is a disgusting way to treat people. They deserve to lose business over this.

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