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To not want to look after nephew?

(152 Posts)
jb7445 Wed 16-Jul-14 21:06:57

My boyfriend and I are going to his home country in a couple of weeks. The plan was for us to spend one week alone at a seaside resort, and the second week staying with his family.

BF has just informed me that his BIL and nephew are now coming to the seaside resort for the first week too, and the plan is for them (BF and BIL) to do a sport together that they are both into (I am not into this sport). This means that I will need to look after nephew for several hours each day.

Nephew is six, does not speak English (I don't speak their language either) and doesn't know me at all. I am not good with kids (I have none of my own yet). I really, really don't want to do it. I was so looking forward to this part of the holiday after a stressful few months at work, and was hoping to just sunbathe, swim, walk around the town and relax without constantly worrying if nephew is hungry or bored or unhappy or wandering off.

Am I being selfish? I can see from my BF's perspective that he doesn't see BIL often and would really like to do this sport with him, and if I don't help there is no solution (SIL is working and there are no babysitting facilities etc. in this place). But I just feel really down about it. BF thinks I'm making an issue out of nothing, it's only a few hours and I am being totally unreasonable to say no. Is he right? If I'm being unfair or overreacting I would genuinely prefer to know!

Hailtotheking Wed 16-Jul-14 21:08:08

wow are they paying you?

dexter73 Wed 16-Jul-14 21:08:58

I don't think yabu. If it was just the once then ok, but every day for several hours? No way!

StrangeGlue Wed 16-Jul-14 21:10:02

Yanbu! It's your holiday and you can't communicate fully with this child nor do you know him. Your BIL and bf are being ridiculous.

Catnuzzle Wed 16-Jul-14 21:10:16

No way. Not on your nelly. You are going on holiday, not to be free childcare!

Clobbered Wed 16-Jul-14 21:10:25

I'd be having a long hard think about the long-term future with this man. Quite apart from the imposition on you, these two men think it's OK to dump a child with an adult they don't know, who doesn't speak their language? What a pair of arseholes.

inlectorecumbit Wed 16-Jul-14 21:11:06

Absolutely no way !!!
This is a holiday for you -you are not a babysitting option.
I would suggest to your DP that his BIL finds alternative childcare.

Spherical Wed 16-Jul-14 21:11:09

Erm, what part of the two weeks will be a holiday for you? It seems like your bf will get to do exactly what he wants with the people he wants to do it with and you are just expected to tag along.

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone Wed 16-Jul-14 21:12:59

No, that's absolutely ridiculous!

Bloody hell if be seriously rethinking the boyfriend tbh.

No way.

TheHouseatWhoCorner Wed 16-Jul-14 21:13:57

You're joking! No way would I agree to this. I'd also be pissed off that the 'couple' part of your holiday is being intruded upon.

TwelveLeggedWalk Wed 16-Jul-14 21:14:13

YANBU one little bit

KnackeredMuchly Wed 16-Jul-14 21:15:10


So he's hijacked your romantic holiday by inviting strangers (to you)

And want you to babysit all day?

Fuck that!

ilovesooty Wed 16-Jul-14 21:15:15

No way on earth would I do this. YANBU.

Not fair on the child either.

Flexibilityiskey Wed 16-Jul-14 21:15:21

Bloody hell, YADefinitelyNBU. I have a 6 year old, and while he is absolutely lovely it is hard work keeping him happy and entertained. You will certainly not get a relaxing break. I would refuse in your shoes. It's totally unfair to expect you to do this!

NatashaBee Wed 16-Jul-14 21:15:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

feebeecat Wed 16-Jul-14 21:15:39

So where is the 'holiday' for you?
I was once in a similar situation with husbands niece. I told him if I was just along as unpaid baby-sitter I wasn't going, might as well stay home and go to work!
Also, I think you might be doing that the wrong way around - I know after a week with dh's family I would need a week elsewhere to recover grin
If it were the other way around, visiting your family, would he do it?

offtoseethewizard64 Wed 16-Jul-14 21:15:46

YANBU and I don't suppose the child would think it was much fun either. Most 6 year olds wouldn't want to be left with a complete stranger for a few hours let alone one they cannot communicate with. You BF and his BIL are being inconsiderate to both you and the child.

FunkyBoldRibena Wed 16-Jul-14 21:15:58

Has he actually told you that you 'will have to look after the nephew'?

Kaekae Wed 16-Jul-14 21:16:47

YANBU. I personally wouldn't mind but can totally see your point. I feel sorry for the child to just be left with someone he doesn't know or can't communicate with won't be very nice for him either. sad

JenniferJo Wed 16-Jul-14 21:17:44

YANBU. He can babysit, you sunbathe.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Wed 16-Jul-14 21:19:04

Fuck that! It will be hellish for you and the poor child.

callamia Wed 16-Jul-14 21:19:43

That poor child, his father is an arse.
You can tell them both to get stuffed, on behalf of you and the boy.

paddlenorapaddle Wed 16-Jul-14 21:20:05

Eerm definitely not YANBU is this a cultural thing where women are expected to do all child care etc and its all about the man

If so I'd be seriously thinking about this relationship he didn't even ask he just told you

NuggetofPurestGreen Wed 16-Jul-14 21:20:12

YANB even one tiny but U!

catchingzzzzeds Wed 16-Jul-14 21:20:59

If it was for 3-4 hrs I'd do it (my DH would do the same for me) any longer and I'd negotiate it back down.

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