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AIBU to be annoyed at 'girl' judging our family dynamics.

(377 Posts)
madchocolatemum48 Sat 12-Jul-14 17:52:33

A group of friends of a neighbour and I were chatting at a party over the weekend.
We were getting acquainted with the usual "What do you do?" "How many children?".......etc etc.
I said dh & i have been married nearly 20 years, 2 children, I'm a SAHM. Ended with saying "You know, the usual traditional family"
A young woman who had already stated she had 3 kids by 3 fathers, never married, pipes up " Fuc#ing hell, didn't know people still did that old b¤llsh!t stuff"

Is it 'old-fashioned' to be a traditional family now? Maybe she just made me feel old, but I wouldn't have made a derogatory comment about her family dynamics.

Muddledandunsure Sat 12-Jul-14 17:54:17

She probably thought your comment was a dig at her.

macdoodle Sat 12-Jul-14 17:55:17

"the usual traditional family" sounds a little passive aggressive/patronising to me, so maybe got her back up a bit. It does imply a bit that any other set hobos unusual/unacceptable.

Minnieisthedevilmouse Sat 12-Jul-14 17:55:45

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Haggisfish Sat 12-Jul-14 17:56:22

Ha ha-it's not unusual as such, but it's certainly less usual than it was. I'm a teacher and I'm actually more surprised when students I teach have two parents with the same surname who are married. She sounded a bit defensive tbh.

CrohnicallyExhausted Sat 12-Jul-14 17:56:40

That's what I thought muddled

juneybean Sat 12-Jul-14 17:56:40

You brought it on yourself with that wanky comment.

Guitargirl Sat 12-Jul-14 17:56:46

Maybe she felt a bit stung by your 'usual traditional family' comment?

YANBU to feel hurt by her calling your family dynamic 'bullshit' but there is more than a little judginess in your perception of hers.

WorraLiberty Sat 12-Jul-14 17:58:29

Even the fact you've called her a 'girl' in your thread title is patronising, considering she's a Mother of 3.

NorwaySpruce Sat 12-Jul-14 17:58:40

Describing the woman as 'girl' speaks volumes about your attitude OP.

SiennaBlake Sat 12-Jul-14 17:58:45

I think she probably picked up on the attitude you clearly have to women like her and felt like saying something.

wowfudge Sat 12-Jul-14 17:58:57

Minnie - you know nothing about the woman's life to make a nasty comment like that.

OP - what you said sounded like you were having a dig.

CaractacusPotts Sat 12-Jul-14 17:59:49

minnie WTF fuck does that mean? "Showing her upbringing"? How fucking rude of YOU!

I agree with others, she was probably retaliating to your comment whether you meant for it to come across as such or not it sounds very judgy and holier than thou!

Gen35 Sat 12-Jul-14 17:59:57

She overreacted, I agree in reckon the 'traditional family' hurt her feelings, still not ok to be so rude though. Just forget about it!

Mumof3xox Sat 12-Jul-14 18:00:07

She felt judged by you

So she lashed out

fedupbutfine Sat 12-Jul-14 18:00:12

my reaction to your post as a single mum is to want to slap you and make sarcastic comments about perfection.

You're not standing in front of me right now so I can only imagine how your comment made that woman feel. Non-traditional families contain decent, hard-working people too, you know?!

AnyoneForTennis Sat 12-Jul-14 18:00:34

Wonder what else you had said prior to that!

LoxleyBarrett Sat 12-Jul-14 18:01:30

Sadly it seems that she picked up on your dig at get and retaliated - can't say I blame her.

thatstoast Sat 12-Jul-14 18:01:54

I think your last comment is ambiguous. I read it as a self conscious "usual thing, nothing more to talk about" wrap up. Other people are obviously reading it like you were stating that your family set-up is correct and hers incorrect.

She was being rude, of course.

TheAwfulDaughter Sat 12-Jul-14 18:02:28

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LizLimone Sat 12-Jul-14 18:02:28

'The usual traditional family' is pretty offensive, to be honest. Implies anyone who is not married, a SAHM or has 2.4 children is weird. So you kind of invited a response with your own comment. Although she was a tad OTT on her response.

LoxleyBarrett Sat 12-Jul-14 18:02:29

Dig at her (not "get")

LizLimone Sat 12-Jul-14 18:02:43


Hakluyt Sat 12-Jul-14 18:02:49

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Mrsjayy Sat 12-Jul-14 18:04:57

You sounded like you were having a dig you probably were not but the traditional family sounds snide y she sounds upfront and rude though, btw not many girls have 3 children

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