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"The one who cooks is the one who shops"

(60 Posts)
gwhappylife Sat 12-Jul-14 13:35:42


KingJoffreysBloodshotEye Sat 12-Jul-14 13:40:21

Makes sense to me.

I do the cooking. Also do a weekly online shop.

If I send DP he comes back with weird shit.

UncrushedParsley Sat 12-Jul-14 13:40:36


makeminea6x Sat 12-Jul-14 13:42:23

Not in our house. We plan what to eat together, I do the list and go to the shops and DH mostly cooks. Works fine.

Scholes34 Sat 12-Jul-14 13:45:00

I'm happy to do the cooking and the shopping if someone else puts it away when I get back from the supermarket.

Agree with KingJ - need to avoid weird shit.

Tobagostreet Sat 12-Jul-14 13:45:01

What is your AIBU question?

Not sure what view you're trying to validate, but I agree that the one who shops, cooks. Makes sense that you know what you're planning to cook based on the ingredients you bought.

I know others think differently, but I've never been a shopping list maker, so asking my DP, who does not cook (well) to buy my ingredients is just a task I don't want to undertake.

tobysmum77 Sat 12-Jul-14 13:45:42

I'm with King joffrey. How do you decide what to eat together? Do you sit and have a weekly meeting? grin

WhereYouLeftIt Sat 12-Jul-14 13:47:52

Only if the one who cooks prefers it that way. Is the one who doesn't cook incapable of following a shopping list?

WorraLiberty Sat 12-Jul-14 13:49:33

Whoever is free/fancies doing it at the time in my house.

Longdistance Sat 12-Jul-14 13:51:51

In my house it's...the one that shops, cooks, washes up, cleans...

Humansatnav Sat 12-Jul-14 13:52:52

Shop together and both cook. Works in my house.

HicDraconis Sat 12-Jul-14 13:56:45

tobysmum Yes! We sit down once a week and make a meal plan, taking into account my call roster and our evening training sessions. Then we check freezer / fridge / pantry and make a list of what we need for that week.

DH normally does the shopping, I usually cook.

Lottiedoubtie Sat 12-Jul-14 13:58:00

I wish. I cook. My DH is not a spooky fucker, he's an appropriately grateful, does his share of other chores sweetheart. But he is the shopping equivalent of a spooky fucker... He loves the supermarket, we have to go together. I've almost made my peace with it.

Lottiedoubtie Sat 12-Jul-14 13:58:41

*spoony obviously. Although spooky would be brilliant grin

StillWishihadabs Sat 12-Jul-14 13:59:40

Not in this house because for reasons I cannot fathom although dh can cook very well he is totally unable to stick to a list in the supermarket or identify frequently bought items !

ShadowFall Sat 12-Jul-14 14:00:54

Makes sense to me.

DH is capable of following a shopping list, if it's detailed enough, in that he'll buy what's on it, but... he also usually buys a load of stuff not on the list that blows any meal planning out of the water. Like a load of meat / veg / ready meals that are on offer and need eating soon when we're short of space in the freezer.

SevenZarkSeven Sat 12-Jul-14 14:00:58

Depends doesn't it. On who likes / is good at doing what and the overall distribution of household / other work.

We do an online shop, which I do. I ask if there's anything that people would particularly like when I'm doing it. And we can both cook, DH actually ends up doing the kids meals much much more often than me, and usually does our evening meal too when I do sadface at him. And lunch. And brings me coffee whenever I ask grin

What is the situation for you OP? There's no black&white answer here.

WhispersOfWickedness Sat 12-Jul-14 14:01:18

Not in our house. I do the shopping as I have more time as I am a SAHM. DH tends to cook as I hate it and he enjoys it.
We tend to eat the same sorts of things, so I just get what we usually need, if DH wants to make something we don't usually have, he just adds what he needs to the shopping list. Works for us smile

MaryWestmacott Sat 12-Jul-14 14:02:41

we do online shopping, and I normally sort it. I'll ask DH if there's anything he wants adding. I also sort the meal plan for the week, and make sure we have the correct ingredients for each evening's meal - but last night (like many evenings) DH walked in, looked at the plan for that night and just got on with it.

I do always ask him if there's any meals he wants this week, when I do the online order/meal plan, however he is incapable of deciding what he wants to eat in the future, he can tell you around 4pm onwards what he'd like for dinner that night, but if he's not currently hungry, he'll just say "dunno" and will look at me as if I'm barking if I suggest on a sunday night he thinks of some meal plans for Tuesday or Wednesday night ("How am I supposed to know what I'll want on Tuesday???" will be thrown at me incredulously). This is why when he lived alone, he didn't do a weekly shop, but bought food on his way home every night. Total waste of time. (We have 2 DCs, I refuse to pander to this constant shopping/lack of planning food preference.)

That said, he never complains about what I've planned, always happily eats what he's given/makes what he's told.

sanfairyanne Sat 12-Jul-14 14:04:02

the one who cooks gets to choose - shopping from a list or from a meal planner is easy enough but i hate weird stuff being bought with no cooking plan

SevenZarkSeven Sat 12-Jul-14 14:07:18

DH job means he is the one who gets bits if we need / fancy anything that we haven't got as well.

I mean really though shopping and cooking can both be a pain depending on who for / budget / if you like doing it or not. I have never heard a "rule" about the person who cooks, shops and it sounds like potentially an excuse for a fully functional adult member of a household to get out of pulling their weight. Maybe.

Need more into than "p" to judge properly grin

MrsCakesPremonition Sat 12-Jul-14 14:07:48

Not in our house.
I have to write the shopping list.
DH does the shopping (while bitching about the list).
DH cooks sometimes.
I cook the hard stuff, or on the days when we run out of food because DH didn't buy enough stuff for a sensible meal.

MaryWestmacott Sat 12-Jul-14 14:08:53

BTW - Don't know how it works if one person cooks and other one shops, unless the one who shops decides what the person who cooks will make.

This could be because we're not rich, so cant' afford to just pack the fridge with lots of meal options and let someone else decide what to make, throwing out the rest. I can only afford to buy food we will actually use.

I cook and do the on-line shop and the day-to-day shop because I know what we need. DH washes up and cleans the kitchen. I actually think I've got the better end of the deal tbh. Before the DC, when we both worked full-time (I only do 20hrs now) we took turns and shopped together. At some stage in the future we'll probably go back to that. Circumstances change.

BuilderMammy Sat 12-Jul-14 14:23:19

I do the meal plan.
I write the shopping list.
We both go shopping because if DH goes on his own he'll buy all sorts of stuff that'll end up being thrown out.
I do the cooking.
I clean up.

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