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AIBU?

Wwyd re baby name change?

22 replies

GirlWithTheLionHeart · 11/07/2014 13:59

My ds is 18 months old and since he was around 3 months I've been wishing I had given him my surname or made it a middle name, just so my side of the family are there somewhere.

My hormones were all over the place at the registering and I was upset and my partner at the time was adamant he would have his surname.

Now it's settled down I'm still upset he has none of me in his name. Our family was very 'blended' and I always had a different name from everyone which upset me as a child like when we went on holiday I was always the odd one with the passports. Now in my own family I still have a different name! I called my family lawyer and he said mull it over the weekend as its a very long procedure.

Now his dad has agreed to making my surname his middle name. We couldn't double barrel our surnames as his surname is double barrelled already :/

Wwyd? Do I need to get a grip?!

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GirlWithTheLionHeart · 11/07/2014 14:02

Or has anyone got any good ideas re how to do the names

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bumpiesonamission · 11/07/2014 14:04

As exdp is agreeing, could u not do a deedpoll change? Perhaps drop one of his doubles???

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GirlWithTheLionHeart · 11/07/2014 14:07

Are deed polls legit then? I keep hearing mixed stuff so was going to get a lawyer to do it. He said I have to make the court agree to it.

I was thinking of dropping one but any way around it sounds so wrong with my name :(

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jacks365 · 11/07/2014 14:07

Since dad is in agreement you just need to do a deed poll doesn't require solicitors and can be done for free. It is a very simple process.

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GirlWithTheLionHeart · 11/07/2014 14:09

So if it were you would you be happy having your surname as a middle name? I was thinking at least it'll be on official documents etc so people will know he's my son.

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jacks365 · 11/07/2014 14:09

Deed polls are legit my dd changed her name on hitting 16 and has had no problems over it at all. Everything is in her new name (mine) now.

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GirlWithTheLionHeart · 11/07/2014 14:11

Ok great.

Or I was thinking just to add my name to his surnames

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Birdsgottafly · 11/07/2014 14:24

His father will have to agree to any changes, as both parents with PR have to sign and it be witnessed, so its no good making a decision unless you know what he will agree with.

Many Mothers have their surname as a middle name.

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MsAspreyDiamonds · 11/07/2014 14:37
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bumpiesonamission · 11/07/2014 15:27

As long as you go to the right website, I always go through the Directgov website for things legal like that you'll be fine

www.gov.uk/change-name-deed-poll

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pillowaddict · 11/07/2014 17:07

My dd has my maiden name as a second middle name. I'm glad as I still see myself as part of that 'clan' and she's part of it too.

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GirlWithTheLionHeart · 11/07/2014 18:21

I think I'll do that pillow seems like a good compromise

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GirlWithTheLionHeart · 11/07/2014 18:22

He hasn't got his first passport yet, when I apply for it would I have to send the deed poll in as well as birth certificate?

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higgle · 11/07/2014 18:28

You don't need adeed poll if you just want to add a forename see here

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BrianButterfield · 11/07/2014 18:31

You could also change your surname if you wanted to instead. I know someone who has done that.

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maresedotes · 11/07/2014 18:32

I think it's a lovely idea to have your surname as the middle name. Wouldn't have worked with my name so DD2 has my great grandmother's maiden name (she also gave it to her children including my grandmother).

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overmydeadbody · 11/07/2014 18:44

Yes you will have to send the deed poll in as well as the birth certificate, otherwise how would the passport office know the correct name for the passport?

My DS changed his surname through a deed poll and covering letter signed by both parents, it was very easy (and free)

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W0rried · 11/07/2014 18:58

If you go through deed poll just make sure you don't lose the papers as they may be needed in the future to verify identity and cannot be re-issued like a birth certificate.

My ex had his surname changed by his mother as a child by deed poll. When he went for a job he was asked to produce his birth certificate and a form of photographic ID. He had to get a copy of his birth cert from the registry office as he had lost it and only then realised his surnames didn't tally. He explained why but they insisted he provided the deed poll papers to verify this. His mother had lost them and he wasn't able to get copies / re-issues of the deed poll papers which obviously meant he did not get the job. This is also problematic for getting a passport.

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Mouthfulofquiz · 11/07/2014 19:19

Both of my sons have my surname as a second middle name. They can use it or not when they are older but it's nice that the surname is carried on!

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GirlWithTheLionHeart · 11/07/2014 19:47

Excellent thanks for all the help! I will keep the deed poll docs with birth certificate

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appealtakingovermylife · 11/07/2014 19:58

We were in a similar situation, now ex dp and I were registering ds birth and both wanted ds to have our surname as we weren't married ( thank God) registrar was not very nice and we felt rushed but managed to agree on giving him name+middle name ( same as his dad's) then my surname as a second middle name and finally same surname as his dad which is one of the most commonly known surnames.
My ds is 11 now and has been known his whole life as x-my surname-dads surname even though his passport/birth cert recognises him as his first and last name primarily.
Ex dp still refuses to call him by his "full name" but tough, I'm glad I stuck to my guns.

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GirlWithTheLionHeart · 11/07/2014 20:25

Glad you did too appeal the registrar was lovely and I remember her looking at me saying do you want your name on here? stupidly I said no as I was basking in newborn loveliness and not thinking straight.

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