Advanced search wonder why people on here can't just accept when an OP accepts they've BU?!

(50 Posts)
ScouseBird8364 Thu 10-Jul-14 10:58:56

I've been on MN for a couple of years now, but go through only a few days (prob a year) where I'll post/comment etc, however no, I'm not a troll wink

Anyway, I read a post on here few days back, where people werw discussing AIBU and how it seems to bringbout the vile creatures on here! So, why is it when an OP holds up their (virtual) hands and says you know what, fair enough, I still have my opinion but I accept that I was obviously being unreasonable etc, that other posters cannot say great, and leave it at that - why is there this culture on here where people feel the need to 'have the last word' so to speak?

The question is 'am I being unreasonable?' therefore, if the majority of replies are geared towards yes, and the OP accepts this, then why not just leave it there?

There are some people on here who clearly love the sound of their own voices (or in this case, love the look of their own posts!) angry

UsedtobeFeckless Thu 10-Jul-14 11:01:16

Err ... They do, generally. Always have when I've been on the recieving end, anyway.

MyFairyKing Thu 10-Jul-14 11:01:49

You can now highlight the OP's posts so you can see them. Otherwise, in a big thread, it's easy to see miss posts.

settingsitting Thu 10-Jul-14 11:02:28

I agree op.
Some of them do not read much of a thread so dont see that the op has held their hands up part way through.
But I dont think that that explains away everyone who still carry on.

MyFairyKing Thu 10-Jul-14 11:02:46

Also, threads tend to not to end if the OP agrees they're BU because it has stimulated discussion.

ScouseBird8364 Thu 10-Jul-14 11:04:18

setting aah I guess some of the threads are pretty long so yes, that would pretty much explain some, but there are certain posters who clearly have seen the acceptance from the OP but continue with their waffle! shock wink

VioletHare Thu 10-Jul-14 11:04:41

Sometimes I just reply to an op without looking through everything.

You're bound to get a lot of posts just based on the first page.

What's much, much more annoying is when the conversation progresses (fair enough) but then someone comments that is clearly just replying to the op, and is met with 'fgs the op has said they are being unreasonable, rtft ffs' type posts.

ScouseBird8364 Thu 10-Jul-14 11:09:45

Violet tbh it seems a little rude if you're going to join in a thread, then read the whole thread, bevause you do risk repeating something or someone, this is why you will get those messages telling you to do so.

I don't particularly worry with comments off other posters, as I have real things to concentrate my worries on! Plus being a Scouser, we take things on the chin pretty easily, nothing upsets us wink However I think there are some vile people on here with clearly nothing else to do.

I've been nosing through some of the AIBU's past few days and I've actually spotted some nadty bullies on here in all honesty angry

MitMopse Thu 10-Jul-14 11:17:52

I agree too OP I think some just like to throw in their two cents and it's often the same people who have to give an opinion on everything.

AMumInScotland Thu 10-Jul-14 11:19:58

People don't read the thread - they read the OP, hoist up their judgy pants, and post a reply.

No matter that the OP said 'OK, point taken. IWBU' ten pages back, or that people are now chatting pleasantly about something else entirely.

It's the need to get your tuppenceworth in at all costs.

there's a lot of it about...

ScouseBird8364 Thu 10-Jul-14 11:20:33

Yes MitMopse I see the same names popping up quite occasionally hmm

Crinkle77 Thu 10-Jul-14 11:30:12

Have you started this thread to prove a point? Are you going to accept that YABU and then see if the thread continues?

ScouseBird8364 Thu 10-Jul-14 11:34:08

Crinkle No, but your comment just goes to highlight what I'm on about too. I don't use MN or forums that much, in fact wish I had the time tbh, but looking through here past few days, it really is vile sad

I see so many OPs asking the question, but then STILL being shot down in flames, even after they've accepted peoples' replies.

And no, I'm not here to 'make a point', I'm here to ask a question, same as every other AIBU thread...

thecatfromjapan Thu 10-Jul-14 11:37:50

Because life is hard for many people, and a small fraction of people go to AIBU purely and simply to kick and punch something that they can't hear scream/won't bleed on their carpet.


AuntieStella Thu 10-Jul-14 11:40:29

I think it's simply that some people don't RTFT.

Some even say they haven't, which I always find astonishing (in that someone is so sure that after many posts their points won't have been thoroughly discussed already, and that the thread hasn't moved on).

Mintyy Thu 10-Jul-14 11:40:58

It is REALLY irritating when people just respond to the op (unless it is a closed question) but don't bother reading the whole thread. If the whole thread is too long, then just read the op's updates.

And if its really really long, you could also consider not responding at all? Its very unlikely that you are going to add anything new.

fluffyraggies Thu 10-Jul-14 11:42:50

Personally i rarely post on or even read a thread with 60/70 + replies. This is something which has evolved quite recently - last year or so. (unless it looks really juicy!)

The reasons are
a) when the thread's that long already the chances are someone has already said what i would say.

b) i cant be arsed to read it all. And i would NEVER post unless i'd RTFT - that, to me, is the most infuriating thing - when posters do that!

As per your OP - i think it's because they don't RTFT and just spout their initial thoughts (which are by then obsolete usually) and then bugger off.

Crinkle77 Thu 10-Jul-14 11:45:47

Wasn't having a go OP I was being light hearted and it didn't come across very well. Just thought you might be conducting a little experiment for a laugh.

ParadoxicalCat Thu 10-Jul-14 11:48:27

Because clearly if the OP gives in half way through and accepts they're being unreasonable then they have no back bone or strength of conviction and deserve to be further abused smile

Also, depending on the question, people may want to know exactly how the OP manages to sleep at night after thinking such unreasonable things.

(Said mostly tongue in cheek)

Vintagejazz Thu 10-Jul-14 11:51:23

Because some people just come on AIBU to be self righteous, argumentative and generally unpleasant. They will twist the OP's words, come at the argument from ridiculous angles, bring in all kinds of unlikely scenarios and reasons to prove the OP is being BU and generally do what it takes to work themselves up into a state of indignation.

Mintyy Thu 10-Jul-14 11:53:06

Just been to have a look at whatever thread this is clearly a thread about and I think you might have got people's backs up in other ways op, its not just about you admitting you were a little bit wrong.

CaptainTripps Thu 10-Jul-14 12:18:14

I use AIBU in this way as is my prerogative:

Post my situation and see what the lay of the land is / general views. Just to see.

Then quite happily get on with my life and my own views. I merely post out of curiosity and just to see. I certainly don't see that need to justify myself or switcheroo my thoughts.

Works for me.

If others get worked up (y'know - the rude nasties) then that's their own blood pressure fucked lookout. I generally remain bright and breezy.

settingsitting Thu 10-Jul-14 12:34:27

Out of interest, do you use the highlight op system, VioletHare?

settingsitting Thu 10-Jul-14 12:36:39

Yes the coming at ridiculuos angles works me up a bit VintageJazz.
Perhaps angry man did that at the supermarket because he had just lost his job/mother/and all his worldly possessions type comments.

settingsitting Thu 10-Jul-14 12:38:18

I've been nosing through some of the AIBU's past few days and I've actually spotted some nadty bullies on here in all honesty.

Report them
Mumsnet say that they like to build up a picture.

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