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AIBU to find faddy eating habits annoying.

(133 Posts)
runningonwillpower Tue 08-Jul-14 14:14:23

I have just spent some time with an extreme faddy eater. No special dietary needs, just preferences expressed volubly as a need.

I have preferences but because I eat a wide and varied diet, my choices have to take second place, always.

Is it really ok to dismiss perfectly ordinary food as disgusting (as I'm eating it) just because it's not your preferred choice? Is it really ok to insist on your choice of restaurant because nothing else suits?

What do people really think about the faddy eater? Should we accommodate them? Always?

I don't even know why it irritates me, it just does.

MaidOfStars Tue 08-Jul-14 14:46:42

Faddy/fussy/picky eaters irritate me but I'd never be outwardly annoyed. I guess it must be hard if you have a genuinely limited palate. As I eat a wide (albeit vegetarian) range though, I am usually happy to accommodate where possible.

It is very rude to say that someone's choice is "disgusting" as they are eating it though.

My son is a faddy/fussy eater, it's very frustrating.

However, I think unless you have direct experience then you shouldn't really judge.

It's wearing but at the end of the day we like what we like. I would never force him to eat a food he hates or makes him gag and I just hope he slowly grows out of it (he is a bit better than when he was younger).

prisonerofallisurvey Tue 08-Jul-14 14:49:55

Sorry, at first I thought you were talking about a child but then I realise you are referring to an adult? In this case it is just rude imo.

HouseBaelish Tue 08-Jul-14 14:51:23

Hmm lots of separate issues. I think if they were a good friend I'd want them to enjoy the occasion and therefore wouldn't be too worried about choice of restaurant.

But commenting on what you're eating is really rude

CalamitouslyWrong Tue 08-Jul-14 14:54:56

My sister is an attention-seeking fussy eater. I find this utterly intolerable.

Some examples to illustrate:

In a chain pub (of the kind where they heat up frozen stuff so you can't modify anything), my sister chooses to order salmon and broccoli fishcakes. She doesn't like broccoli and causes a huge fuss when they arrive because they are full of little bits of broccoli, rather than some large chunks she could easily pick out. Then she sulked for the entire meal. Because choosing something you would actually like to eat would be unthinkable because then you don't get to kick up a fuss and get loads of attention.

In pizza express, my sister (who had recently converted to Islam) ordered a pepperoni pizza. Then she kicked up a huge fuss when it arrived because it had pork on it and she does t eat pork and how offensive pork is to her, etc. I have never been so embarrassed in my life. DH wanted the earth to swallow him up.

DH is quite a fussy eater, but at least he chooses stuff off the menu that he thinks he'll like, generally. There have been several occassions when I've had to give him my food and take his because he's decided afterwards that he doesn't like what he ordered. I make sure he knows how unimpressed I am when this happens.

CrystalSkulls Tue 08-Jul-14 14:57:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HortenMarket Tue 08-Jul-14 14:58:52

YDNBU. Obviously not regarding children, but fussy adult eaters really piss me off. One family member who shall remain unidentified SIL is a self-diagnosed wheat intolerant and also doesn't like cream. Try making a bloody pudding that isn't fruit salad for that one. What completely fucks me off is the whole self diagnosed bit. Never seen a doctor or dietician or allergist, she just decided. Then the sour bloody face when she comes over and I haven't made a wheat free cream free pudding amongst all the others. I actually have a friend who as anaphylaxis to wheat so this def gets my goat.

Phew that venting felt good!!!

CrystalSkulls Tue 08-Jul-14 14:59:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

runningonwillpower Tue 08-Jul-14 15:04:10

I am talking about an adult. But it stems from childhood.

I think if they were a good friend I'd want them to enjoy the occasion and therefore wouldn't be too worried about choice of restaurant. I totally get your point. But why does the occasion have to depend on persnickety eating? The occasion isn't spoiled for me if I don't have the meal of my choice. If the menu isn't to my liking, I just make the best of it and get on with the occasion. Not so for the picky eater - the menu is the occasion. Or so it seems.

Bifauxnen Tue 08-Jul-14 15:04:34

Fussy eaters I find annoying but wouldn't say anything. Calling food that you are eating disgusting is rude though, they should respect your tastes as they expect you to respect theirs.

ViviPru Tue 08-Jul-14 15:06:23

I'm on the fence.

I refuse to eat goats cheese. It's simply NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. I can't even eat it out of politeness. But I try and give advance warning if there is an upcoming situation whereby I might be faced with being served it so as not to cause hassle and put people on the spot.

I also won't eat meat/fish/dairy unless I can be sure of it's provenance. I am NEVER vociferous about this though, I doubt anyone who knows me is even aware of this as I try and check things subtly in advance and make selections quietly, I hate fuss.

Conversely I do get the rage if people make a big song and dance at the tale about things they hate and are all "urgh" and opinionated, or refuse to try certain foodstuffs for no reason. That's just rude.

ViviPru Tue 08-Jul-14 15:06:59


claraschu Tue 08-Jul-14 15:08:14

Wheat allergy or sensitivity is pretty common, and some people do self diagnose, as they feel bloated and sick after eating wheat.

HortenMarket, It is extremely easy to make just about any cake or pudding without wheat, as there are many flours available for this purpose, though I agree that your SIL should just forget about pudding at your house and not make a fuss. You sound like you dislike her, though.

7Days Tue 08-Jul-14 15:09:27

I find fussy eaters irritating if they involve me in any way shape or form.

I class 'having to listen to them' as involving me.

Just shut up and eat what you like. I don't care

helzapoppin2 Tue 08-Jul-14 15:09:49

"Gluten free". That's all I'm saying!

Perfectlypurple Tue 08-Jul-14 15:11:41

Another I hate fussy eaters thread.

I am what I guess you would call fussy. I always end up with a couple of side dishes if I eat out so I don't inconvenience people by refusing to go to certain restaurants. One friend is a nightmare about it. Always commenting on what I am eating. I have told her to just leave me alone I am happy with what I pick. I never tell her what she choses is digusting.

I am a vegetarian but can't eat tomatoes so I am really limited when I eat out. I don't eat tomatoes because they make me physically sick. I also am not keen on mushroom but I will eat it if no tomato in the meal. So yes, I guess I am fussy but not all fussy eaters are attention seeking. I find its the non fussy eaters are the most judgemental.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Tue 08-Jul-14 15:12:27

I do find it irritating. I have a friend who doesn't like vegetables. How can you hate all vegetables? Anyway at a restaurant once she ordered a pasta dish full of tomatoes despite hating tomatoes. Then picked them all out. confused.

The adult self diagnoses of wheat, gluten etc bug me. It seems to be a trend rather than based on anything. My 2 year old has a dairy allergy (we see the allergy team at the hospital). So I have less sympathy for those who just decide depending on the day of the week which intolerance they may have.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Tue 08-Jul-14 15:13:17

Actually what really irritates me are people who claim not to like a food, without ever having tried it.

GirlWithTheLionHeart Tue 08-Jul-14 15:13:23

I don't think anyone's talking about child with additional needs crystal

fluffyraggies Tue 08-Jul-14 15:13:50

It depends on how the fussy eater conducts them self.

I think i'm probably a fussy eater. However, i will go pretty much any where to eat socially as there's always something on the menu i'll eat. Even if it's just a bit of salad and a bread roll. I don't make a fuss - i just order the one thing i do like, or the thing with something on the plate which i like and just happily get on with it.

I have a friend who not fussy about her actual food, but incredibly fussy about every thing else. The lighting, the exact time we are eating, the table ware, the music, the other diners, the distance ... everything! Right PITA!

claraschu Tue 08-Jul-14 15:14:16

Fussy eaters are only annoying if they fuss and talk about it and make a big issue out of their eating habits.

runningonwillpower Tue 08-Jul-14 15:14:43

btw, i'm going to sit here and watch all the fussy eater bashing, secure in the knowledge that my DS who has sensory problems related to Dyspraxia/ADHD and is food avoidant/new food phobic despite no 'special dietary needs' is going to get ripped to shreds by a load of people who haven't got a fucking clue.

This is NOT what I'm talking about.

I have got a fucking clue about the person I have in mind. She has no sensory problems; she's just fussy and plays it as the trump card in every eating choice.

runningonwillpower Tue 08-Jul-14 15:16:21

Fussy eaters are only annoying if they fuss and talk about it and make a big issue out of their eating habits.

I think you have expressed well, the thing that annoys me.

CalamitouslyWrong Tue 08-Jul-14 15:16:39

Not all fussy eaters are attention-seeking, but some are. The attention-seeking fussy types deserve to have everyone refuse to eat with them.

I suspect the totally obnoxious, attention-seeking fussy eaters are probably the minority, but that doesn't mean we should go easy on those who think that ordering a pepperoni pizza and then kicking up a fuss because it has pork on it is in any way acceptable behaviour.

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