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about an uncle's secret girlfriend coming to our wedding?

(169 Posts)
ikeaismylocal Fri 27-Jun-14 18:50:53

Dp has an uncle by marriage who is a bit hard work, most of dp's family dislike this man but I have always tried to be friendly to him.

We are getting married in the summer and dp's uncle is ofcourse invited, he has asked if his new girlfriend can come along which is no problem, the problem is he wants us to not tell anyone about his new girlfriend as it's a secret.

Dp's uncle was married to dp's aunt but the aunt sadly passed away about 5 years ago. The new girlfriend is a Thai lady who the uncle met in Thailand ( he owns a house there) the girlfriend speaks no Swedish (dp's family's language) she does speak some English ( my family's language) it would make sense to sit uncle+girlfriend with my family so the gf can join in the conversation.

The thing I'm worried about is that dp's family will find out about the secret girlfriend when they help us with table plans/writing name place labels.

The same uncle also wants to "gift" us 2 dances that will last 10 minutes each! He is going to do a waltz all by himself, all very odd but I don't want to say no and hurt his feelings.

Anyone else had secret/surprise guests at their wedding? How secret should I keep it?

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye Fri 27-Jun-14 18:54:19

the problem is he wants us to not tell anyone about his new girlfriend as it's a secret.

But they'll see her.

He can't sling a tablecloth over her..!


PunkHedgehog Fri 27-Jun-14 18:54:49

How secret can you keep it? Unless she's invisible as a well as secret people are going to know she's there, and they will ask who she is. You can't exactly stick her in a cupboard for the day.

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye Fri 27-Jun-14 18:55:01

And the Uno Waltz sounds awesome!!


BeanyIsPregnant Fri 27-Jun-14 18:55:11

Erm.. Not secret at all! I'd message weird uncle and say 'haha! Obviously it would be impossible to keep gf a secret.. I'm sure everyone will be excited when they find out whilst helping us prep for the day. Looking forward to seeing you both x'

That's mental.. And I'd be slightly worried about the stress of the 'secret' arriving on the day?!

Madamecastafiore Fri 27-Jun-14 18:55:24

Sorry but I would have been on the phone having a gossip to nearest and dearest abut bonkers uncle and his 'secret girlfriend' and shit present. Really gifting you some dances?

But you are obvious much nicer than I!

PunkHedgehog Fri 27-Jun-14 18:55:31

Ha - great minds!

tabulahrasa Fri 27-Jun-14 18:58:23

Maybe the new girlfriend is so secret that he's actually going to dance the waltz with her, but no-one will be able to see her?

Optimist1 Fri 27-Jun-14 18:58:47

I'd be more concerned about these 10-minute dances .... WTF?! smile

KatieKaye Fri 27-Jun-14 19:00:15

Gifting not just one dance but two? grin

Does that mean he is going to do a solo o the dancefloor? (how do you waltz with yourself?) and then a dance with his partner?

Awesome. You have to video this and then share it. I sense it's going to be a unique performance.

BiscuitMillionaire Fri 27-Jun-14 19:00:17

The 'gift' of two dances is way weirder than the secret girlfriend, which is weird enough. I would say you'll do your best to not mention the gf but you imagine the family will notice.

tabulahrasa Fri 27-Jun-14 19:03:50

Also...this gift of dance he's going to bring you, is that your actual wedding present, or more lets just enjoy the universe's gift of dance?

ikeaismylocal Fri 27-Jun-14 19:03:55

I think he might want to do a big reveal at the wedding, all very odd! I feel sorry for the poor girlfriend, her bestfriend is married to odd uncle's friend, I feel concerned that she hasn't fallen for odd uncles charms alone.

I think maybe I should just casually mention it to one of dp's more gossipy relatives and pretend it was just me mulling over seating options with them.

ikeaismylocal Fri 27-Jun-14 19:06:56

The dances were sort of forced upon me, he wanted to do 2 half an hour dances to start with! The wedding doesn't start till 5pm, we can't have an hour of solo dancing!

We compromised on cutting them down to 10 minutes, my familiy are going to think we have hired a strange comedian.

LaurieFairyCake Fri 27-Jun-14 19:08:13

That's hilarious and very eccentric grin

Maybe he'll do a Tony in Staying Alive as a solo grin

Every wedding needs a bonkers guest

At mine there was a bloke crying in the corner, another bloke who got lost and ended up pissed in a pub 3 miles away - we read his drunken updates out at the dinner and his table toasted his empty place every time one came through - they were also pissed by the end of dinner grin

And a man with 3 ex wives. Who were all there and had a drunken gossip about him while he looked on alarmed.

TruJay Fri 27-Jun-14 19:08:18

Maybe the new girlfriend is so secret that he's actually going to dance the waltz with her, but no-one will be able to see her?

hahahaha this really made me laugh

What a strange fella!

HerbRobert Fri 27-Jun-14 19:09:11

Please, please, please may I come to your wedding? I won't dance or anything, I'll be to busy filming for MNers.

tabulahrasa Fri 27-Jun-14 19:10:07

"he wanted to do 2 half an hour dances to start with! The wedding doesn't start till 5pm, we can't have an hour of solo dancing!"

Sorry, but that just made me actually snort laughing.

What sort of person actually wants to spend an hour dancing a solo waltz while everyone else watches at someone else's wedding?

Can I come and watch? That'll solve your secret girlfriend seating problem.

HowMuchMoreWee Fri 27-Jun-14 19:12:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Naoko Fri 27-Jun-14 19:13:21

Your dancing uncle is going to be the talk of the wedding grin At my best friend's wedding, her new DP's family brought an accordionist. He went everywhere with them. It was weird as fuck but we all just rolled with it and drank which helped too. It was hilarious. Even the bride saw the funny side grin

Hassled Fri 27-Jun-14 19:14:43

Dislikeable Swedish Uncle doing two 10 minute solo dances - this is the wedding that dreams are made of grin. The Secret Thai girlfriend who you can't mention is the least of your worries.

Naoko Fri 27-Jun-14 19:15:23

New DH's family that is, of course!

HowMuchMoreWee Fri 27-Jun-14 19:16:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moominmarvellous Fri 27-Jun-14 19:17:49

Gift you a dance each? That's absolutely hilarious. I'd hate that at my wedding but would love to see it at someone else's! It'd beat bringing in a magician for guest entertainment!

MaryWestmacott Fri 27-Jun-14 19:24:07

Sooo, he wants to keep his gf secret until the day then do a big reveal, meaning they are the topic of conversation amongst the family, and just incase you might get a little attention on your own wedding day, he wants to do 2 dances where he is the centre of attention, not you and your groom? It's all a bit about him, isn't it?

How about you get your DP to call him and say he mentioned the dances to your family, who were really shocked as it's considered very rude in England for guests to do anything that takes attention away from the couple, so to avoid offending his new English family, there will be no solo dances, except for the bride and groom. Then tell a gossipy family member about the gf, so that's all been dealt with before the day.

Honestly, bride upstaging shouldn't be pandered to!

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