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To not want this DV victim staying with us any longer

(467 Posts)
Mozzereena Wed 25-Jun-14 14:43:52

Last Sunday DH received a phone call from an acquaintance (not a friend) asking could we give him a bed for a couple of nights til he sorted himself out as he had been battered (again) by his partner and thrown out of her home. He said he was desperate as he has no family anymore since his mum died and he became estranged from his sibling.

DH said that it would be ok with him but he would have to run it by me first. I said ok as it was an emergency and DH felt really sorry for this guy. He has known him for many years as they attend the same cricket club.

I have 3 DC and each have their own bedroom.
DD2 was staying with a friend over the weekend so we went into her room and cleaned it out and made it up for this guy.
The guy arrived at our house Sunday evening while we were having a barbecue. He seemed quite shaken up and upset.
I told him that DD2 was away for the weekend but she would be back Monday and she would have to share a bed with 5yo DS temporarily until she got her room back. DD was fine about this.

The guy has so far stayed with us for 3 nights.

He put his name down for a council house on Monday - 12 month waiting list he was told. He works for an employment agency so DH says he will struggle to get a private rental. Also he has no savings and no transport. He is in a mess.

However, last night he text DH to say that he had some good news and that he would tell him about it when he got back to our house last night.
I went to bed at 10 and DH stayed up and waited for this guy to come back with his 'good news'

DH told me this morning that the guy had met with a private LL who had an upstairs flat but a man was living in it at the moment but as the current tenant was on the dole he would give him his 4weeks notice to leave.
The guy paid a deposit to this heartless LL and asked DH if he could stay with us for 4 more weeks. DH said no but he could stay for one week.
I told DD this morning and she said he can fuck off I want my room back now! Arrrgghh! What are we gunna do? I don't really want to boot him out on to the street!

MisForMumNotMaid Fri 27-Jun-14 21:51:23

Happy friday OP have a well deserved wine or three.

Glad that a good end has been found for all.

fourforksache Fri 27-Jun-14 21:51:47

Glad it's working out Mozz, you all did a good thing.

Sorry the thread went more than a little weird.

Mozzereena Fri 27-Jun-14 21:55:40

Oh yes and thank you so so much for your support!
I am having that wee wine
Thank you

fourforksache Fri 27-Jun-14 22:35:44

wine wine wine wine wine grin

Aeroflotgirl Fri 27-Jun-14 23:20:01

Fantastic op, now let that be a lesson to your dh to say no, or consult you first before making any big decisions

SolidGoldBrass Sat 28-Jun-14 00:24:11

Glad it's all worked out well. But I agree with Aeroflotgirl - your H should learn from this that it's not OK to guilt the family into accepting his acquaintance into the house and then do absolutely none of the work and adjustment necessary.

differentnameforthis Sat 28-Jun-14 02:04:31

I feel sorry for this man, there are some disgusting comments about him on this thread Totally agree.

I am a grown man - I would not choose to go 3/4 days without ... What? wanking? You are a grown man yet can't even finish your sentence? We know that men don't need to wank, not every man has to wank every day, every few days. We are grown adults, we know men don't NEED to wank. Just because you 'need' to every few days, doesn't men every man is like you.

differentnameforthis Sat 28-Jun-14 02:18:50

There's a lot of wanks in that post! hmm

Good to read the update, op. I hope things work out for him.

Berryglitter Sat 28-Jun-14 08:48:56

See Glasgow you can unclench now!

Aeroflotgirl Sat 28-Jun-14 09:00:48

Exactly different. Glasgow was making a lot of assumptions on no evidence. Op did not say dd was uncomfortable because of something he had done, I am sure she would have told him if he had done anything. Simple because he was an annoying stranger. fgs my dh depends longer than me in the bathroom, toilet, shower, shaving etc does not mean he is wanking, but so what if he is. A bathroom is a private domain, you can do what you blooming well,want. Very controlling people on here.

Nomama Sat 28-Jun-14 09:06:51

Good news, Mozz.

I can't believe how this thread went. I mean, you had every reason to be Td off with your DH for being a bit unthinking and you and DDs had every reason to find your visitor unsettling, but the levels of paranoia and scaremongering appeared here in alarming levels.

I hope you weren't reading it as it grew, I'd have found that really perturbing.

Anyway, as I said, good news that he has somewhere else to be on a more long term basis.

spence82 Sat 28-Jun-14 09:14:21

Glad everything is OK now OP.

gellicleCat Sat 28-Jun-14 14:16:09

Am I the only one who spotted a business opportunity here ?
There is a national sperm shortage (i read it in the paper), there is a homeless cricketing masturbator who wants a room.
tell him he has to fill ten milk bottles a day, or he's OUT.


Tentedjuno Sat 28-Jun-14 14:21:03


Floggingmolly Sat 28-Jun-14 14:59:46

Here's a national sperm shortage?? How did they discover this?

AgaPanthers Sat 28-Jun-14 16:25:33

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

longtallsally2 Sun 29-Jun-14 12:00:50

So glad to read your update OP. I had to bail out of this thread as the comments were just too upsetting and weird.

I just wanted to say thank you on behalf of all vulnerable people for opening your home to a (nearly) stranger and taking a week out of your lives to help him. I am sure that any inconvenience to your dd will be far outweighed by the practical example you gave her. Sometimes it's easy to help someone, sometimes it involves putting yourself out, but it is always worth it.

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