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To think that when I've been away for the weekend ...

(58 Posts)
CocktailQueen Mon 23-Jun-14 21:24:09

I would prefer that some housework and tidying was done, so the house doesn't look like shit when I get home, instead of a bunch of 'welcome home' flowers?? Or Aibu and ungrateful??

CreateTheLifeYouWant Mon 23-Jun-14 21:26:08

XDP used to leave me the shit house to return to, but no flowers, so you are BU wink

CSIJanner Mon 23-Jun-14 21:26:51

It depends - were they "bugger - I forgot" dregs from the bottom of the bucket garage flowers?

Monopolice Mon 23-Jun-14 21:29:22

My friend went away for a girls week away, leaving her DH and 3 teenage DSs.

When she got back, she said she walked in, looked around, walked straight back out and went to the Premier Inn.

When she came back again the next day, they'd made attempts to clear up. They'd lived in a midden all week expecting her to tidy it when she got back hmm

TheCatsBollocks Mon 23-Jun-14 21:33:18

Where did you go first?

If you've been swannng around on a spa break yabu if you've been looking after an elderly relative yanbu.

ShouldHaveMarriedTimDowling Mon 23-Jun-14 21:38:26

I did the same once too. I was the one travelling with kids. H home alone for a week. Not impressed is an understatement.

HumphreyCobbler Mon 23-Jun-14 21:40:28

wherever you have been you should come home to a reasonable house imo

it is so depressing to get back to a vile mess

I realised I had turned into my mother when I started to vacuum the carpet whilst everyone waited in the car to go on holiday.

ShouldHaveMarriedTimDowling Mon 23-Jun-14 21:51:08

Thecatsbollocks I disagree.

Unless the mess is justifiable in some ways I do not think it matterswhere the dw has been. And viceversa.

FunkyBoldRibena Mon 23-Jun-14 22:00:17

You prefer?

You should be demanding not preferring.

Charlie97 Mon 23-Jun-14 22:19:26


Thecatsbollocks...... Really? Punishment for a weekend away is justified? You've been away so you clear up all the mess we've made! Shocking attitude.

restandpeace Mon 23-Jun-14 22:21:09

Have you been working away? Or looking after a sick relative because if you've been on a jolly yabu.

Loletta Mon 23-Jun-14 22:24:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SanityClause Mon 23-Jun-14 22:25:17

Why should the OP clear up after her family when she was not even in the house.

I mean, if you left your DH with at least two children of 3 or under, then just about forgivable. Otherwise, YANBU.

fairylightsintheloft Mon 23-Jun-14 22:25:32

Cant believe the posters saying op is being u if she was on a jolly. The mess left says that her family assume she will sort it all out
Why the fuck should she? They made the mess presumably and I'm guessing she's jyst asking for a reasonable level of tidiness, not expecting the house to have been redecorated or something.

Titsalinabumsquash Mon 23-Jun-14 22:25:59

I used to get this when I'd been in hospital myself or with one of the kids, I'd get home after 2 weeks if stress to find the house is a DUMP!

I was quite firm with DP and now I tell him straight that we will be home on X date so at the very least he needs to make sure the kitchen is clean and tidy and the washing is done and to crack a few windows to let the fresh air in, he's one of these that doesn't 'see mess' so once it's pointed out to him it's passable by the time I get back with DS.

naturalbaby Mon 23-Jun-14 22:27:34

I think you're being a tad ungrateful, but that depends on what kind of weekend away it was.

TheCatsBollocks Mon 23-Jun-14 22:28:28

It's not a shocking attitude.

If the OP has twins under 1 and a couple of toddlers and has left for the weekend it would be U for her to come back to a spotless house.

But we don't know the situation because she left that bit out.

ShouldHaveMarriedTimDowling Mon 23-Jun-14 22:28:33

Restandpeace are you serious?

Titsalinabumsquash Mon 23-Jun-14 22:30:43

I think it also depends on how bad the house is I know that I have high standards so I don't expect DP to do everything I'd do but I do want the basics done.

OP have you come home to a squat or is it a bit messy, have the dishes been done, laundry sorted, hoovering? That is the basics I'd say or does it look like the morning after a frat party?

ShouldHaveMarriedTimDowling Mon 23-Jun-14 22:30:55

When a dh goes away for the weekend (football, golf, sailing, whatever) does he find the house a tip ready for him to clean it up?

Is the dh not an adult?

OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat Mon 23-Jun-14 22:31:19

You should expect to find the house in the same state of tidyness as when you left.

Housework would depend how often things are done. Obviously laundry, washing up and bins should have been kept on top off, but I wouldn't necessarily dust, vacuum or clean the bathroom in that timescale, so might not consider it necessary.

Whether you have been away for business or please is irrelevant.

Charlie97 Mon 23-Jun-14 22:31:58

Thecatsbollocks. So if that is the case lots of small children, how on earth is OP able to sort it out when she gets back?

Are you trying to insult men? Are you trying to say men are not able to clear up, but she will be just fine doing it?

Very very odd attitude from people saying if it was a jolly she is bu.

TheCatsBollocks Mon 23-Jun-14 22:33:21

If I went away on a girls weekend doing whatever and DH stayed at home looking after the dc I wouldn't expect him to do much around the house I'd rather he do stuff with the dc.

Mintyy Mon 23-Jun-14 22:34:01

Well it completely depends on the ages of the people in the house and what they have been doing while you've been away.

My house is an absolute tip at the moment. I am struggling as dh is away for several weeks and I am not used to doing it all on my own.

ShouldHaveMarriedTimDowling Mon 23-Jun-14 22:35:14

I, for example, would not expect spotlessness (never happens even when I am in charge), just basic level of maintenance: I'd expect the dh to have looked after himself and his children and the mess they all made, not a total spring clean!

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