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Dear DH - when you decided to...

(116 Posts)
ChocolateBiscuitCake Mon 23-Jun-14 19:16:49

help by loading the dishwasher last night (which is a pretty rare feat), did you mean to offload the leftover greek salad into the machine as well rather than turn 90 degrees and put it in the bin? Because I have spent all day clearing onion and cucumber out of the pipework and only now 6 washes later is it working.

This is what I would like to say to him in RL, but given that we have bickered all weekend, I think he might not be amused.

AIBU or should I be grateful that the intent was to be helpful (lighthearted)?

Anyone else have a seemingly helpful husband?

Imsuchamess Mon 23-Jun-14 20:23:57

I would be angry sorry.

BitOutOfPractice Mon 23-Jun-14 20:26:26

Sorry I hate these "he was trying to help but he's a bit clueless" threads. They give me the rage.

No excuse whatsoever for an adult to be so clueless. It is so pathetic and passive aggressive and deeply, deeply unsexy.

I would say to him "today, I have never wanted you more" blush

TheFairyCaravan Mon 23-Jun-14 20:29:14

I would be so pissed off!

I presume he's older than 5, so he should know that your scrape the plates first!

diddl Mon 23-Jun-14 20:29:14

Why didn't you leave it for him to clean?

Messygirl Mon 23-Jun-14 20:29:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HumphreyCobbler Mon 23-Jun-14 20:32:09

loading the dishwasher without tipping lots of food into it is not a female skill, just a human one

Nomama Mon 23-Jun-14 20:35:56

And if it were me, yes, I can handle the tools.

Just this morning I took out a dishwasher and dismantled a cupboard in order to gain access to a leaky water pipe. Then, cos of what I found, I turned off the water and then..... called a plumber smile

It was horrible, they're coming back to dig up the floor cos the previous (male) owner was a DIY twat!

NewtRipley Mon 23-Jun-14 20:36:15

How is him clearing up his stuff being helpful?


Are you definging loading a dishwasher as a female skill?

I can't drill, nor can I embroider. What is your point?

NewtRipley Mon 23-Jun-14 20:36:50

defining not " defininging"

JassyRadlett Mon 23-Jun-14 20:37:52

I can drill, embroider, knit, I'm pretty good at plumb

JassyRadlett Mon 23-Jun-14 20:39:34

Oops! I'm pretty good at plumbing and I'm our designated Tiler of Floors.

I'm not sure a vagina or lack thereof has particularly equipped me for any of these, let alone the very basic ability to not put food in the dishwasher.

OP, I'd have killed him.

DoJo Mon 23-Jun-14 20:40:23

It depends - do you consider it an attempt to be 'helpful' because you have agreed on a split of jobs in which you are responsible for the dishwasher or because he does bugger all the rest of the time and lifting a finger around the house is such a rarity that you have come to think of it as a supremely special act?

If the former, then I would leave it. If the latter then I would leave him. grin

Madrigals - I really hope you aren't trying to defend the position that it seems you are. Could you elaborate on your post?

AnyFucker Mon 23-Jun-14 20:41:10

Why are you the one sorting out his mess ?

Lottiedoubtie Mon 23-Jun-14 20:42:56

OP I'd have been seriously pissed off and I'd have left it for him to clean.

I also don't buy any of this crap about him doing it accidentally. He is a grown up? One that holds down an actual job I'm guessing? Of course he knew tipping the salad in the dishwasher was a stupid thing to do.

MrsTerryPratchett Mon 23-Jun-14 20:45:07

Did he load it with his penis? Is that why it's a female job?

FWIW I can drill, assemble flat-pack furniture and fix toilets. DH can wash up and clean. It's like a post-feminist love story in our house.

Should have left it for him to clean out.

EverythingCounts Mon 23-Jun-14 20:45:48

Has he 'helped' load the dishwasher again tonight?

Mintyy Mon 23-Jun-14 20:46:29

FFS Madrigals! That is one of the most shocking posts I have ever seen on here, and after 8 years believe me I've seen plenty.

Are you a woman? If so I am stunned.

AnyFucker Mon 23-Jun-14 20:46:38

arf @ MrsTP

NewtRipley Mon 23-Jun-14 20:47:16

Loading dishawashers with penises, tiling with fanjos. It's like some DIY sos porno on here.

whereisshe Mon 23-Jun-14 20:47:44

Hmm. Speaking as the one who avoids cleaning the filter on the dishwater like the plague (cos it's icky and DH is lovely therefore does it when I play dumb and pretend it doesn't need do, it's possible he actually thinks it can deal with chunks of food. I did until I started being forced to clean the filter occasionally...

whereisshe Mon 23-Jun-14 20:48:30

Oops posted too soon! Anyway, perhaps suggest he clean the filter occasionally when it's v gross?

wooldonor Mon 23-Jun-14 20:49:48

I assume there are practical reasons why you've had to clean out all the crap, if not then I think YWBU to allow him to get away with being a selfish idiot.

BravePotato Mon 23-Jun-14 20:50:21

not an accident.

He just wants to make sure you'll never ask him again.

Also, he does not have to deal with the clearing up of his messes.

So it works for him.

So why should he change?

You don't want to be the nagging wife, do you?

So shut up and put up.



BravePotato Mon 23-Jun-14 20:52:17 could talk to him and explain, and expect him to do it more often?

SO he gets better at it grin

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