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to think I didn't make a "smug" comment?

(211 Posts)

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DeepEndOfTheOcean Mon 16-Jun-14 18:07:49

It was a colleagues last day on Friday (as she is leaving to go traveling). I have recently announced that I'm pregnant (pfb)

Colleague was asking me about the future, due date/scans/maternity leave etc and I asked her about where exactly she was going to travel to. I said to her -

"I'd have love to have done something like that, but I guess I chose love over travel"

Apparently this was a smug remark?

Aibu to think it wasn't?

cantbelievethisishppening Mon 16-Jun-14 18:08:47

Who said it was smug?

TheHouseatWhoCorner Mon 16-Jun-14 18:09:25

I think I would have thought it a bit smug, to be honest.

WipsGlitter Mon 16-Jun-14 18:09:32

Um. Is she single? It's maybe a bit smug. But I think you know that!

EyelinerQueen Mon 16-Jun-14 18:09:46

Definitely smug.

And very odd.

TheHoundsBitch Mon 16-Jun-14 18:10:03

It could be taken as smug. Depends on your the of voice/ body language etc.

Casmama Mon 16-Jun-14 18:10:15

It sounds utterly smug to me- the implication is that your colleague doesn't have the option of love but you did.

I can fully accept you didn't mean it to be smug but it would have made me cringe to hear it.

A little smug. Is it a choice? Can't you have live and travel confused

HerRoyalNotness Mon 16-Jun-14 18:10:57

Perhaps clumsily worded, but I get what you mean, and wouldn't have thought smug.

LEMmingaround Mon 16-Jun-14 18:11:08

It sounds more bitter and bitchy than smug - I guess she will do the baby thing after she's sren the world.

SarahAndFuck Mon 16-Jun-14 18:11:11

It could be taken as smug I think.

I understand it wasn't meant that way and I can remember one occasion where I said something that was taken as smug when it really wasn't intended to be, so I sympathise. I think we've all had moments where something just comes out sounding wrong.

But yes, seeing it written down like that, I can really see why the person took what you said to be smug. Sorry.

SirChenjin Mon 16-Jun-14 18:11:20

Um - yep, that was a bit smug grin. Why not just remind her that you've got a husband/partner that you're madly in love with and a baby on the way - and she hasn't, which is why she has to take the inferior option of travelling - and be done with it grin grin

CoffeeTea103 Mon 16-Jun-14 18:11:21

Sounds very smug and you sounded like a pa arse tbh. Love over traveling? hmmCan you not see how that came across

fluffyraggies Mon 16-Jun-14 18:11:23

It could be seen as being at bit ... smug ... yes.

Especially if the colleague has had a tough time re:love/relationships.

TravellingToad Mon 16-Jun-14 18:11:54

I'd be sad if someone said that to me and I was still single (assuming she is)

KlokkenErOl Mon 16-Jun-14 18:12:03

Id feel sorry for somebody who said that to my face. So, more pitiful than smug. I'm not saying your comment was pitiful, just that if somebody had said it to me, I'd have felt sorry for them in that moment. Feeling that it was down to simple choices, that it was one or the other.......

ShatnersBassoon Mon 16-Jun-14 18:12:22

It's insensitive I suppose. She hasn't yet found love. She knows that and she'd probably go travelling even if she had, so your comment was a bit of a non-sequitur.

SantanaLopez Mon 16-Jun-14 18:12:26

Really, really smug. YABU.

MooncupGoddess Mon 16-Jun-14 18:12:29

Definitely smug, and it suggests she is choosing the worse option, and/or draws attention to the fact she isn't in a relationship herself.

Smartiepants79 Mon 16-Jun-14 18:12:47

It's a bit cringeworthy. And, yes, does seem to somehow imply that your choices are more valid than hers. Like travel is something you do when you've got no where else to go.
Does of course depend on how it was said.

OwlCapone Mon 16-Jun-14 18:12:55

Sounds rather nauseating to me rather than smug.

BarbarianMum Mon 16-Jun-14 18:13:50

It does sound smug, I'm afraid. Also slightly bizarre (love and travel not being mutually exclusive). If you meant you can't travel now cause you are having a baby instead then maybe best to say just that.

ShatnersBassoon Mon 16-Jun-14 18:14:13

It's self-satisfied.

Guitargirl Mon 16-Jun-14 18:14:18

If I was the traveller I would think you sounded a bit envious to be honest.

HecatePropylaea Mon 16-Jun-14 18:14:24

I would have interpreted it as a dig at me, tbh.

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