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Just joined, advice needed - Father a let down

(3 Posts)
Forbes12 Mon 16-Jun-14 11:41:52

Hello all,
I'm sure this has cropped up many times and just need a little advice and reassurance.
I was engaged to babies father and we planned to have a baby. I caught very quickly and we postponed the wedding as we were getting married abroad. We made load of plans and talked on how we planned to bring up our baby together. His family were never really there for him and he promised to be the dad he never really had.
Baby was born healthy after an emergency c-sec and all was great, till the next day!
All other fathers were showing up at the hospital to see their new bundles of joy, not this one! He was more untested in his own sleep than seeing me and our new baby, this should have been a sign. Without this turning into an auto biography, he never quite stepped up to the mark, he didn't look after me or the baby and about 4 months ago I asked him to leave.
Since then he was more interested in gettin me back than seeing his daughter. Contact has been irregular and only when it's convenient for him, no regard for the babies routine and I have told him he can come and see her when ever he wants, but doesn't.
He will not give me money regularly towards the babies upkeep and still tries to control me by asking me to give him a 'shopping list'
It was her birthday at the beginning of the month and there has been no card, phone call or text asking how she was.

Sorry to go on, just trying to give you some back ground info.

How should I work this? Should I contact the CSA? Should I give him set days and times to pick up the baby? I have advised him he needs to buy his own car seat - is this unreasonable?

Please help me!

Han x

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Mon 16-Jun-14 12:03:02

Hi. That's a shame that he never stepped up. I suggest you contact the CMS to mediate for maintenance and offer him one weekly slot for contact with no contact between you both outside of that (I unless it's about arrangements). Also, yes, he should have his own basic equipment.

Forbes12 Mon 16-Jun-14 12:10:33

Thank you, my parents are great and I just don't want to burden them with this at the moment, I just want the best for Matilda and with at little disruption to her. I want her to see him even though if I'm honest I resent him as I don't feel he has the right to enjoy her, he is her father after all! but at what point is it disruptive to her if he only chooses to see her once a month for 4 hours?

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