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to think she should have said something?

(143 Posts)
janesxx Sat 14-Jun-14 23:33:01

so I saw my friend in the street and stopped to talk briefly, while we were talking this little boy (about 5/6) came out of nowhere, ran up to my 1 year old son, grabbed his head with both hands and kissed him on the lips!!

I was totally in shock at the way he grabbed him, his mother then walked past and said "aw he loves babies" and carried on walking.. I wish I had have said something now.. AIBU to think she should have told him NOT to grab random babies and kiss them on the mouth!?

bearing in mind my son has an autoimmune diseases and is extremely vulnerable to getting ill off germs (he has to have everything sterilized still and therefore I dont even kiss him on the lips!)

Bowlersarm Sun 15-Jun-14 09:51:28

I don't see why posters who don't agree with the OP are getting such a hard time.

A 5 year old kissed a baby. It is only of any note whatsoever because the 1 year old has autoimmune diseases. It is important that the OP takes steps to protect her child.

Her gripe seems to be that the mother laughed it off. How do we know it wasn't out of embarrassment and that she had words with her child after the event?

Seems a lot of fuss about a cute action, and it is up to the OP to be aware of what is happening to her child.

Maybe now she'll be more alert to potential problems, which may actually be a good thing.

DontPutMeDownForCardio Sun 15-Jun-14 09:51:49

Stop fucking troll hunting laurie. You've been here long enough to know its against the rules. Or didn't you read the troll hunting part?

LaurieFairyCake Sun 15-Jun-14 09:55:29

quiz - because on a Saturday night threads can't get deleted as they can't check so reporting doesn't do anything - which is why we get late night trolls on weekends

and your right dont - I shouldn't be, just got pissed off at 2am

sebsmummy1 Sun 15-Jun-14 09:58:54

I'm not sure in the setting the OP describes I would be mad happy about a five year old rushing over and holding my one year olds face to plant a kiss either, and I'm lucky enough to have a pretty healthy 18 month old.

In a soft play setting or nursery set up you expect that sort of interaction, but just sitting in a pram, I don't know, I think the baby is more of a 'sitting duck'.

As an aside I also have one of those mozzie net type things that could give your child some protection just simply because they will be more hidden. I also have a pushchair that has the child sitting high up, so I guess that's another consideration if you can afford to replace your pram.

BrianTheMole Sun 15-Jun-14 10:01:23

How do you know shes a troll Laurie? confused. She has posting history and her story is plausible. Anyway, report it if you think she is, rather than troll hunting. I think you're just victim blaming personally.

I think I can see this from both angles.

OP obviously you want to protect your child which is understandable, especially with their current condition. The thing is though, you don't know that the mother of the other child didn't say anything later. Also some children can look a lot older than they are. You say 5, but they may very well not have been.

MissDuke Sun 15-Jun-14 10:22:15

SEN is not an excuse for a parent to not teach their children appropriate boundaries. Though it does annoy me that it is always assumed in these events that the child has SEN anyway! My eldest daughter has SEN and absolutely did not respect boundaries/personal space until she was 5 or 6, but I knew this so kept her very close to me. When in softplay, she would plonk herself down on a random daddy's knee much to his horror, or join another family at their table and ask for a share of their lunch :-/ She was very charming so when we called her away etc often they would say she was fine where she was, but we did insist in order to teach her. We were lucky to generally encounter nice people though. She also was known to run up and hit children, which was awful, so like I say, I kept her close. I also have a 5 year old boy and he wouldn't dream of going near random people, and won't kiss me in public never mind another child.

Gosh what a waffle! Just wanted to add it is ridiculous to suggest that this is the op's fault. b
it is not a 'normal' occurrence and therefore could not have been predicted by the op.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Sun 15-Jun-14 10:24:05

It wasnt assumed.

It was mentioned as a possibility as people identified with the behaviour. Which is allowed.

And all degrees of SN are different.

Just because your DD could learn a boundary at a certain age doesn't mean others could.or indeed ever could.

PossumPoo Sun 15-Jun-14 10:49:30

YANBU. I can't understand posters saying aw that's cute etc. I would have been furious especially given the circumstances and would have told the parent.

usualsuspectt Sun 15-Jun-14 12:06:32

I stopped caring when you said he came from a 'rough estate'

I8toys Sun 15-Jun-14 12:12:10

YABU - take it he doesn't go to playgroup, nursery or mix with others because of his condition. He will come into contact with other children at some point and they will share all sorts of bodily secretions - snot mostly. Oh and nits and worms.

ikeaismylocal Sun 15-Jun-14 12:29:08

I don't think it would occur to me to tell my child not to touch or kiss a toddler, I am much more strict with the way ds interacts with newborn babies.

Is your pushchair parent facing? I find people interact much less with ds when he is facing me.

I will be more considerate when my ds interacts with other toddlers, I'm very aware of allergies, if ds has been eating strawberries and has strawberry juice on his clothes I'll ask the parents of the children he is playing with if their children are sensitive to strawberries, when we play with his friend who is allergic to eggs I don't give ds eggs even for breakfast as the likelihood of them kissing each other or putting fingers in each other's mouth is pretty high. I hadn't considered weakened immune systems but I will in the future.

BrianTheMole Sun 15-Jun-14 13:10:56

I8toys, thats not really the point is it. No doubt the op will find strategies to deal with that in the future if its still necessary then. At the moment she's asking whether the other mother was unreasonable not to say anything to her child about coming up to a random baby in the street and kiss him/her. Which she was.

I8toys Sun 15-Jun-14 13:23:13

No Brian - the OP should have opened her mouth and should have asked the lady nicely to please not let her son do that because......and explain the situation.

We can all communicate. Most mums would not think anything of it - having had children we know what they are capable of.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall Sun 15-Jun-14 13:39:39

Ive never heard of kids being unable to be kissed from HSP before now! Ive looked after several!

sharonthewaspandthewineywall Sun 15-Jun-14 13:44:52

And the younger they get it generally effects them less severely and less seriously.

Roundedbuttocks90 Sun 15-Jun-14 15:06:25

You should see what my DSD does to 11 MO DD!! It would be nice if she grabbed her to kiss her on the lips instead of pulling her off the end of the bed by her feet!!

BrianTheMole Sun 15-Jun-14 17:57:07

Do you let your child wander up to random babies and kiss them then I8toys? And leave it up to their parent to say something to you before you say anything to your child??

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