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who is unreasonable regarding the bastard cat? you decide!

(147 Posts)
AtYourCervix Sat 14-Jun-14 21:35:55

The cat is a bastard. There is no cure. He just is.

He sleeps all day (when not demanding good - usually hourly). Then at night he likes to go out.

And in.

And out.

And in.

And out.

And in.

And out.

'Oh get a cat flap' I hear you cry, but the door is unsuitable and even if there was one the kitchen door is closed at night and Bastard Cat has an irrational hatred of closed doors.


He's out and decides he needs to come in. So he shouts and wails loudly until someone gets up and opens a door or window.

Repeat every 2 hours.

And reverse.

I think that if the bathroom window is left open he can come and go and all I need to do is wake up enough to open the bedroom door. Then Bastard Cat can come in and snuggle my head.

H thinks that is just inviting him to shout at the bedroom door. And it should be closed.

But then I have to wake up enough to trek downstairs to let him in.

Please decide who is right.


AtYourCervix Sat 14-Jun-14 21:46:26

Bo earplugs would work. He is Loud. And we have neighbouts.

Might need to tell D2 it is time to switch off the light.

ShatnersBassoon Sat 14-Jun-14 21:46:48

You need to take every door out. Then burn the doors, or the cat will find them and meow at them.

derektheladyhamster Sat 14-Jun-14 21:46:54

Sleep training does work! I never thought it would, but I was feeding the cat at 3am someone shoot me and I stopped. He got fed before bed and I ignored him. Ear plugs are your friend for a few nights grin

JuniperTisane Sat 14-Jun-14 21:47:15

Oh Oh OH!

Fit a catflap to your bedroom door!

MaryWestmacott Sat 14-Jun-14 21:47:16

Shut doors and windows, build some sort of cat kennel, start this regime on next Friday night, so you don't have to work the next day. The cat cant cry forever. Do this 2-3 nights, bastard cat will learn. and probably go find other owners

IamBob Sat 14-Jun-14 21:47:29

get these for d2

MaryWestmacott Sat 14-Jun-14 21:47:55

oh and neighbours will cope. Its a cat, it's not like you can do anything about it...

IamBob Sat 14-Jun-14 21:48:03

Then shut the door. The one with the catflap in.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sat 14-Jun-14 21:48:03

This is why my c

Hassled Sat 14-Jun-14 21:48:05

Why is the door unsuitable? I'd get a new door rather than suffer that shit. That's just insane - there are newborn babies who are less demanding. And Bastard Cat can just get over his hatred of closed doors, frankly. Think of it as controlled crying.

JuniperTisane Sat 14-Jun-14 21:48:12

OR train the cat to sleep on DD2's head instead.

IamBob Sat 14-Jun-14 21:48:49

<pokes Juniper>

ShatnersBassoon Sat 14-Jun-14 21:50:17

My bastard cat stopped meowing in the night when she got so old she didn't know day from night any more. I think she thought we'd all gone out when the house went quiet.

Now she just meows every time someone stands up. So never at night grin

AtYourCervix Sat 14-Jun-14 21:50:32

Train a cat? Are you insane?

headlesslambrini Sat 14-Jun-14 21:51:32

My sis has a cat flap that goes through the wall not the door as hers arent suitable either. Cat flap on all relevant internal doors then sleepy bo-bos here you come.

If the cat is not trainable then what about your DH? Chocolate button sex every time he gets up with bastard cat.

Joysmum Sat 14-Jun-14 21:51:38

BC needs training, he's been training you up till now.

My new cats soon realised they got chased away from the bedroom door if the howled at it. You've taught yours to howl by letting it in.

You can decide when you are letting him in and out and couple with a noise cue. Howling at door gets met with chasing away and angry voice.

If you waver, it'll take longer. If you stand firm it won't take too long to complete his training.

Needasilverlining Sat 14-Jun-14 21:54:26

I'm cruising for a flaming here but I beg you to remember that I was (a) 20 (b) clueless and (c) it wasn't my farking cat.

I was a lodger; lovely slightly odd man with two cats. The smallest one adopted me and would spend most nights being On the Wrong Side of my bedroom door (possibly something to do with Landlord being a massive stoner who could sleep through a fire alarm,, let alone a ginger cat whingeing).

After several weeks, hallucinating from sleep deprivation, I padded over to the door, opened it, looked down at his little upturned face, picked up the glass of water on the chest of drawers, held it out and upturned it.

Smallest cat squawked, fled, and never bothered me at 2am again.

I still feel a bit guilty 15 years on but, you know, desperate times...

JuniperTisane Sat 14-Jun-14 21:54:38

Bob got there first I see.

Why is it you going downstairs every two hours? Surely DH should be taking turns, just have a bottle ready in the fridge to heat up then he can feed, burp, cuddle, back to sleep...

Oh wait...

AndHarry Sat 14-Jun-14 21:54:48

Make sure you give your neighbours earplugs too. A yowling cat is as annoying as a barking dog!

Alternatively, build a new door-free house especially for your cat in your back garden.

AtYourCervix Sat 14-Jun-14 21:55:28

I shall get a man in to do catflaps on All doors.

In the meantime the bathroom window stays open.

Kundry Sat 14-Jun-14 21:55:28

My cats are sleep trained but it took nerves of steel to ignore their pleas and I did it when they were kittens. You are doomed.

They have breakfast in the morning and then go out for the day. Door may be opened to let them in if I'm at home or it's raining but otherwise it's tough until I get home. Then it's dinner time and time to stay in, even if it's a nice sunny evening and there are still mice to catch. I can ignore an enormous quantity of marching up and down, tapping at windows and yelling.

I usually leave all the internal doors open but cats can be locked in the kitchen which is designed to be non cat-scratchable around the door so they can't ruin the carpet by trying to dig an escape tunnel.

VisualiseAHorse Sat 14-Jun-14 21:56:08


Needasilverlining Sat 14-Jun-14 21:56:08

Landlord, obviously, was the lovely slightly odd man. I may be the second, but prob not any of the other terms. grin

Hassled Sat 14-Jun-14 21:56:23

If this were a child, we'd be down on you like a ton of bricks screeching "FFS - set some boundaries". If Bastard Cat were a child he'd be the one whose parents let him run around restaurants shouting and unbalancing the waiters, and who nicks toys in playgrounds while you smile indulgently.

Hoppinggreen Sat 14-Jun-14 21:57:52

Ours get shut in the kitchen as soon as the kids go to bed or one of them sleeps on DD's head and she starts sneezing.
They go quietly and happily and go in and out of the cat flap in the utility.
Unfortunately so does every other bastard cat in the road because despite the magnetic cat flap it's cat free for all in our kitchen at night.

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