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be angry about facebook photos?

(380 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Daisy122 Sat 14-Jun-14 21:00:18

Neither me nor my husband are on facebook, were more pick up the phone and chat or meet for dinner type ppl not really into the whole social network vibe - thats just us each to their own and no judgements on anyone else were quite aware were unusual in that respect especially both being under 30 and otherwise very social ppl smile Anyway when i got pregnant with my daughter we told family and friends that we didnt want any photos putting on facebook or announcements ect anything to do with baby really as were not on there to monitor it and we want to share first photos, news, scans ect ourselves in our own way; everyone agreed to this and we made particularly sure this was explained to my fil as he has a facebook page and likes to befriend everyone and anyone and is very open with his private life. Anyway when i was 5 months pregnant we got our second scan photo and went to visit both my parents and my husbands to show them in person, my fil asked for a photo of it and i said sure just dont put it on facebook please he said ok and took the photo. The following evening me and hubby go out to meet friends for dinner and proudly show off our scan only to be told oh weve already seen it on fils fbook page. So we get home go on his page through my brothers account and not only has he posted the scan photo but he had announced my pregnancy before we did and posted my scan dates, due date ect ect. My hubby called him and said we where really upset with him and felt really betrayed he said fine ill take it down and wont do it again but was not apologetic at all. We moved on and when my daughter was 2 months old i met hubbys parents friend in the street i went to introduce her to our baby and she said oh ive already seen her on fil's facebook, i was fuming got home and we discovered fils facebook profile pic was him and our daughter and other photos had been posted, he also had not removed the previous scan photos as requested. we invited him round to tell him we where really annoyed by this total disreagrd for our wishes and he said shes my granddaughter i can decide whats best for her and called us pathetic and reclusive just because we dont want photos on fb. My daughter goes to baby clubs, mums and tots, sees friends and family every week yet because her image isnt slapped all over the web were reclusive!!!! am i right to be so annoyed? thanks xxx

brokenhearted55a Sat 14-Jun-14 21:13:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyoneForTennis Sat 14-Jun-14 21:17:19

Pick your battles. This isn't one! You will tie yourself in knots forever checking up on him and then 'having a word'

You can't prevent this

Daisy122 Sat 14-Jun-14 21:20:17

Hi brokenhearted what do you mean by nothing you can do? he refused to take down the photos so we reported them as is our right and any parents right on fb until there child is 13 and they removed them but going forward if he continues to say he will do what he wants he wont see her unsupervised as we cant trust he will abide by our wishes and if he maintains he intends to continue putting more images of her on facebook he simply wont be able to have any. I dont see why i should put up with behaviour like this towards us?

Famzilla Sat 14-Jun-14 21:21:22

Well, your current situation of allowing him to take and have access to your photos isn't working. Checking up in his FB and telling him off is a bit weird too.

So.. Either don't share news with him & let him take photos and explain it's because he doesn't respect your privacy, or let it go.

Famzilla Sat 14-Jun-14 21:22:11

OR let him take photos even.

AnyoneForTennis Sat 14-Jun-14 21:22:20

You can do nothing about the statuses you mentioned. You'd deny your dd a relationship with her grandparent over this??

brokenhearted55a Sat 14-Jun-14 21:25:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MuttonCadet Sat 14-Jun-14 21:25:20

It's appalling that he's done that, but I have to say that the grammar and spelling in your post offends me more.

brokenhearted55a Sat 14-Jun-14 21:27:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

macdoodle Sat 14-Jun-14 21:27:24

Sorry cant read that without paragraphs or full stops, can you maybe repost it a bit easier to read....

indigo18 Sat 14-Jun-14 21:27:38

Yet another 'Facebook stole my baby thunder' thread.....

ThefutureMrsTatum Sat 14-Jun-14 21:30:01

I agree with you on this. It really annoys me and your right to tell him to stop.

I'm on fb andso is dh. We had one of my friends visit when dc3 was a couple of weeks old and she took lots of pics. I went on fb later that night and she had posted them all and tagged us in, they were horrible pictures, nice if her, ds looked grimacy and awkward. We share pics very occasionally, but I thought it was weird if someone to post pics of my child without saying "is it ok" first. I never said anything as I didnt know how to put it without sounding like a cow to her and it would have come out wrong as I was angry andhormonal, I just untagged myself.

youlookbeautifultonight Sat 14-Jun-14 21:31:52

You hadn't publicly announced you we're pregnant to friends and family at 5 months and nobody had seen pictures of your dd or even knew she had been born at 2 months old? I think you are being a bit unreasonable here if you had just found out you were pregnant and waiting until 12 weeks, fine, if she had just been born and it was a birth announcement in hospital before you had chance to tell everyone then fine but I think otherwise you are being abit precious, sorry.

Needadvice5 Sat 14-Jun-14 21:33:30

I think you're really over reacting! sorry....

He sounds like a proud doting grandad and wants to show her off!

I know some people are very precious about their kids photos going on FB but surely if you have good security setting's then what's the problem??

You're on here posting so can't be that opposed to social media site's????

SamanthaJones Sat 14-Jun-14 21:33:40

Honestly? You're being a bit precious!

He's proud! So fair enough that he posts pictures of his grandchild.

You really can't control information in the way you seem to be trying to.

Daisy122 Sat 14-Jun-14 21:33:44

i don't think anythings weird about monitoring your own childs image on the internet when you feel its something that shouldnt be uploaded willy nilly. Thank you for comments on my grammar and spelling dont know why thats relevant but there we go, i actually have a degree in english just cant be bothered with grammer and spelling its only mumsnet! and doesnt everyone come on here to validate something, taste in a name? upset on something? cheating husband - should i leave ect ect!

SamanthaJones Sat 14-Jun-14 21:34:57

The being 13 thing is about a FB account, not photos!

Needadvice5 Sat 14-Jun-14 21:35:34

I agree Mrs Tatum, I always check.

Sound's like you were more pissed off that your babies photos weren't very flattering!!!!!

JohnFarleysRuskin Sat 14-Jun-14 21:37:40

I would be annoyed too. He sounds like a prat. Can dh deal with him?

MuttonCadet Sat 14-Jun-14 21:37:44

Please don't try and pretend you have a degree in English, an English grad wouldn't make the basic mistakes that you have in all of your posts.

(I don't have an English degree by the way).

Anyway, back to your issues. blush

Imsuchamess Sat 14-Jun-14 21:37:46

Yanbu op

brokenhearted55a Sat 14-Jun-14 21:37:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CSIJanner Sat 14-Jun-14 21:38:16

Anyone - I'm all for picking battles but I think what the OP is worried about here is that if FIL can't respect their wishes on personal information or photos, then what else is he going to be belligerent about? Because from the OP, that's the way he's come acros. Nods, says okay and then bolsches on anyway. He's damaging the relationship by ignoring his DS's and DIL's polite requests to the point that they now don't trust him. So now he and presumably granny are losing out. The FB aspect just brought the attitudes to the forefront.

OP - YANBU in that your wishes were blatantly ignored. However in this day and age, a touch naive to think it wouldn't be mentioned in some way on social media. People get excited and a touch possessive when babies are involved. So the pictures are now down but the damage is there. How do you see this grandparent/in-law relationship repairing? How's DH and granny with this all?

On a pot stirring note, you could always embrace the madness yourself, start an profile and post unflattering pictures of your FIL with hearty best wishes for his next prostate exam?!

Daisy122 Sat 14-Jun-14 21:38:32

youlookbeautifultonight it was previous posts of his i was listing he announced my pregnancy at 8 weeks before we wanted anyone to know and announced the birth of our baby before we did. i said a woman in the street that was his friend hadn't met my daughter at 2 months plenty of other ppl had that doesnt mean i want her image on facebook.

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