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to hate it when men think they know it all about babies/pregnancy/breastfeeding

(32 Posts)
janesxx Fri 13-Jun-14 23:47:36

so a few of DHs friends have come out with some really annoying things, I was discussing my birthing plan and one of them said 'have a water birth cause then it wont hurt at all, its exactly the same as popping a spot underwater' thats just stupid..

I seen another on facebook today posting "cant believe some woman has just wacked her titts out in the library to breastfeed her baby, I don't want to see them what dyou think breast pumps are for!?" SO IMMATURE I commented "she might not want to bottle feed.." and the reply was "no that's what breast pumps are for so you give them milk in a bottle when their out its still the same stuff!" i tried explaining bottle feeding breastfed babies can confuse them so its harder for them to latch on but I got nowhere.. it drives me nuts when men think that childbirth and babies are all so easy! how about they try!

FiveFingerDeathPunch Fri 13-Jun-14 23:50:01

you must know some classy men

softlysoftly Fri 13-Jun-14 23:50:16

You need better male friends.

No one I know would say anything like that.

WorraLiberty Fri 13-Jun-14 23:51:31

I don't know how to say this but's not really 'men' - more your male friends it would seem shock

I've never heard such shit uttered by anyone, no matter what their gender.

WallyBantersJunkBox Fri 13-Jun-14 23:55:15

I remember attending one of those birthing classes in hospital where a man explained that he hadn't needed a local anaesthetic for his broken leg, so there was no need for his wife to have an epidural....hmm

He was flatly refusing to allow her to have any pain relief that was suggested, and came up with some scenario where he'd been in worse pain and just bared it without drugs.

She had a hollow WTF have I done look on her face for most of it.....

FiveFingerDeathPunch Fri 13-Jun-14 23:57:13

most men would never come out with crap like that.
op......get some new male freinds

HavanaSlife Fri 13-Jun-14 23:59:51

Wally I hope the poor women spent the whole of her labour gripping that arseholes testicles

WallyBantersJunkBox Sat 14-Jun-14 00:03:15

I never saw her again, but always wondered if she drowned him in the birthing pool....shock

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 14-Jun-14 00:06:23

I had someone like that at my antenatal class. 'We' want a drug-free birth. There is no 'we'. She had, poor woman, a highly medical, very difficult time in hospital. I felt so sorry for her with all the pressure she was getting. Very ill little girl as well sad They are all doing well now with their elimination communication.

Youdontdecide Sat 14-Jun-14 00:11:15

You have crap friends

ReallyFuckingFedUp Sat 14-Jun-14 00:20:23

Sorry, I might have missed it but where did the OP say "all men"?

I think she said she doesn't like being given advice by men (as you know they can't really give advice on breastfeeding and pregnancy)


ReallyFuckingFedUp Sat 14-Jun-14 00:23:34

In all of my labours when we discussed pain relief I said I didn't want any, and if I suddenly changed my mind they should check with my he would know if I meant it or if I was just shouting rubbish..

One nurse politely asked me if Dh had "concerns" about pain relief and if that is why I was refusing it. sad some women really are told they can't have pain relief by their partners.

It's lovely really that someone who has literally no clue or idea of what it feels like to have a vagina can decide how much pain another person feels in theirs.

WorraLiberty Sat 14-Jun-14 00:30:02

The OP didn't say 'all men'

But she said 'men' instead of idiots

Ok so they happen to own a penis but primarily the people she described are utter fools.

I don't think their gender is particularly relevant.

brokenhearted55a Sat 14-Jun-14 00:34:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HauntedNoddyCar Sat 14-Jun-14 00:38:06

The important thing here is:
Does your dh agree with them or is he halfway sensible?

ApocalypseThen Sat 14-Jun-14 00:40:46

I don't think their gender is particularly relevant

I think it is, in that they can't possibly have any idea. Even if a woman hasn't had a baby, she's had periods so she has some indication of what it is to have ladyplumbing at least.

WorraLiberty Sat 14-Jun-14 00:50:10

I disagree

The words spoken were spoken first and foremost by ignorant small minded idiots. The fact they happen to be in possession of a penis is totally secondary to that imo.

NeilNeilOrangePeel Sat 14-Jun-14 01:00:19

Gender was relevant in this case because it was men telling OP how to give birth painlessly ("just like popping a spot underwater") and on bf/whacking tits outs in public/expressing for their babies - when it is women that go through all these things.

I call this mansplaining. YANBU OP.

BernardlookImaprostituterobotf Sat 14-Jun-14 01:14:37

I had a work acquaintance chime in during a conversation with a pregnant friend after I had lightheartedly said 'Take all the drugs, it's the only time you'll be well enough to get them but enjoy them!' as we were discussing her looking forward to gas and air & sampling some diamorphine.
It was clearly a joke but we got a monologue on how it was disgraceful the NHS encouraged it, we were made to have babies & she had terrible periods so knew how to cope with the pain and women should learn how if they cared about the health of their babies. She was a multi disciplinary tool. I'm still miffed the best I could muster was 'why do you take pain relief then? We were made to have periods'...So lame.

Some people really just don't engage their brains. It's both genders, parents or not.
It ranges from the pfb sneeze birth women becoming birth gurus & telling high risk women hypnobirthing would have prevented their dystocia to the mansplained advice from the Clapham omnibus.
I really do think pregnancy is the invitation to an equal opportunity clueless twat party.

Yanbu about your male friends though, they sound like IQ vacuums.

Hedgehead Sat 14-Jun-14 02:47:05

OP yanbu.

People who are picking apart OP's post, stop being pedantic. You know what she means!

OP - I am preggers and what I am getting really annoyed at is this:

Me: ugh I feel so sick
DH: me too. Have been for days, think we ate something.
Me: I'm just going to have a lie down my lower back is killing me
DH: so's mine - can you give me a quick massage before you lie down?
Me: I'm exhausted. Just off to bed.
DH: this early? You really have to stop tiring yourself out
Me: can you pass the Pringles, I have a craving for them
DH: absolutely not, I'm now having you feeding our baby junk

redshifter Sat 14-Jun-14 02:50:19

That would be very annoying but to be fair I have heard many women say the same and worse about the breast feeding

oxfordcomma75 Sat 14-Jun-14 06:21:11


toomuchtooold Sat 14-Jun-14 07:18:00

YANBU. I think it is very difficult for men to talk about an experience they will never have without coming across as total knobs, so most of them avoid giving an opinion - it's only the ones with a lack of social skills and/or a massively inflated view of their own wisdom that would pass comment.

(On babies I think they can say what they like, specially if they do full time or indeed any solo parenting.

ThreeLannistersOneTargaryen Sat 14-Jun-14 07:29:23

At one point, DH was a member of a local board that was set up to promote breastfeeding education and awareness. I bottle fed all of our children (for medical reasons). grin

Also, he has a postgraduate diploma in family planning. I had six pregnancies in six years. blush

ThreeLannistersOneTargaryen Sat 14-Jun-14 07:32:56

Although to be fair, he is (obviously) well informed about pregnancy, babies and breastfeeding, and has never come out with some of the total bollocks myths I've heard from women.

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