When exH and I were married he used to get dd to call him by his name instead of daddy as he liked to appear as single We split when she was 14 months and I met dp when she was 20 months. ExH drank excessively and didn't see her much after we split but suddenly was very interested in staking his claim on her and being called daddy once I met dp.
Dp has two similar aged children who we have most of the time and dd started calling him daddy like them just before she turned 3. She knew the facts and that exH was her father but liked being included as dps too, which I feel is understandable. ExH was furious and set about shouting at her if he heard her say it, telling her he wouldn't see her anymore if she said it, calling her by her surname only to reiterate that she's his, talking about family members sharing blood and only loving others with the same blood so.dp couldn't love her like her step siblings and so on.
Dp and I have since had a child together and I'm heavily pregnant. Dds father still bullies her about not calling dp daddy, even though she switches to his name so as not to upset him when she's there. He sees her every 3 weeks at most. Dp is there every day, for the school run, illness, discipline etc. She sees us putting her first and chooses to call dp daddy, though I've sat her Down and explained that it's fine if she wants to switch to his name at any point. Her father thinks I should punish her until she stops calling him it - I.e. If she says: 'can daddy give me a bath tonight?' I'm to say: 'daddy is at his house, but dp or I can bath you' and if she still calls him it she should have privileges removed etc.
Aibu to think she's justified in calling dp daddy and to let her choose for herself?
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AIBU?
to not punish my dd for calling her stepfather daddy?
64 replies
KarasKite · 13/06/2014 22:53
OP posts:
caruthers ·
14/06/2014 00:48
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