Before I start, I just want to say that I have absolutely no problem with hand-me-downs, we have had some fantastic ones so far that have no doubt saved us a fortune. However...
DD is 7 and is adopted, we've had her for a few months now. She is our only child. My colleagues with DCs are all either are in the ttc/baby stage or have teenagers/grown up children, so I am the only parent with a child-age DC IYSWIM. I wouldn't say we're friends as such, but in general we all get on.
When we first got DD, lots of our friends told us they had clothes/toys/books etc left over from when their DCs were younger, and very kindly asked if we would like them. We said that would be fantastic. Inevitably we ended up with some stuff we were never, ever going to use, but we just disposed of that and kept the stuff that was useful. Not a problem at all, and we were incredibly grateful.
One of these colleagues is currently having her house renovated. When the contractors started about a month ago she had an initial clear out and told me she had some more of her kids' old things for me. Handed over in boxes at the end of work, so I didn't have a chance to look through before I accepted it. There were some clothes in good condition, but all teenage sizes, so although potentially useful in the long run we're going to have to hold onto them for the time being. But fine, it was nice of her to think of us, plus she'd probably already given us all of her daughter's clothes the size DD is in judging by the amount of stuff she gave us last time. The rest of it was a bit hit and miss- some children's movies that DD would probably be interested in but unfortunately are on VDR, half completed coloring books, some lego (which is great, and we will be keeping), a box of dried up felt tip pens, some half-used craft stuff etc. Some of it we will be keeping, but the vast majority we will be disposing of. Either the colleague hasn't quite got the hang of what's reusable and what's not as far as her DC's old things go, or, I suspect, she just didn't sort through the boxes before she offloaded them. But fine, OK so we ended up having to dispose of most of it, but I didn't make a fuss.
The colleague has now reached the stage of her renovation project where they're having work done on their basement, which means she's had to have a massive sort through all the child-related junk she's stashed in there over the years. She told me this morning that she has loads more stuff for my DD, and she'll bring it in for me on Monday. Another colleague looked up at this point and said she's having a clear out this weekend too, she has loads of her DD's old things she wants to get rid of before she goes to college and she'll bring it on Tuesday, because otherwise I probably won't have enough room in the car Apart from anything, lord knows where they think we're going to put it all, DP and I already have a loft full of our own rubbish.
Now I know that we're incredibly fortunate to have people willing to help us out, and I'm absolutely not saying that we're too good for hand-me-downs. However, I am starting to feel as though my colleagues are thinking of me as a means of getting rid of their DC's old things easily, rather than having to sort through it all and work out what to bin, what to donate etc. AIBU to be starting to get a bit fed up of it?
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AIBU?
To not want my colleagues to dump all their child-related junk on me because my child is younger than theirs?
51 replies
cosmicstardust · 13/06/2014 17:08
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