Or is DH re pool

[popmimiboo]

I live abroad. It's not sunny all year round but we get good summers and it's not uncommon to have a swimming pool. Lots of the DCs friends have pools, either real dug in ones or free standing ones (like really big paddling pools, around 12-15ft.)

My DM has offered to buy a pool for the kids. She's mentioned it in the past but is v keen to now. DC are pre-teens and would LOVE one.

DH says no. Categorically, he is not willing to discuss it, no. He thinks he'll be the one left to clean it, sort out chemicals, ph levels etc. Basically thinks it's too much hassle.

I think he's being extremely unfair and unnecessarily harsh on DC. For starters, they are old enough to deal with maintenance. I also feel bad saying no to my mum who just wants to give a gift that the DC would appreciate and get lots of use out of.
IHBU and WIBU to accept the pool and just sort it out myself without his "permission"?

[fifi669]

What a party pooper!

[spottydolphin]

well... does he have a point? i wouldn't be keen on doing all the upkeep on one of those giant pools.

[HayDayQueen]

He is being an arse. You don't need his 'permission'. Tell him YOU want one for you and the DC, and you're getting one whether he likes it or not.

It does, however, require a lot of work. Just remember that and be willing to do it all.

If HE then decides to use the pool, however, then he ALSO has to spend time cleaning it out.

[everythingtakesages]

Unless when you say you live abroad you actually mean Mars, your pre-teen children will not sort out the pool maintenance

I think you would be very unfair indeed to accept it without his agreement. There are lots of other issues, the space it takes, what it looks like, neighbours kids trooping in and out and worrying about the safety of your and other children in a pool.

[HayDayQueen]

Oh, here's a thought. If you can afford to just pay a pool maintenance company to keep it ship shape!!

[Theas18]

age of kids? safety my concwern

[BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack]

well yes of course YWBU to just go ahead with it.

Does he have a point? Would it be left to him? Pre-teens will NOT be maintaining a pool, that is a guarantee. It will either be you or your DH - would you actually do it?

[popmimiboo]

Ok, how much work is it? I'm thinking it's a case of throwing a cover over it at night, scooping out leaves (we have a lot of trees), changing the filter (once a weekish?) and a big scrub down at the end of summer.

Is it really more work than pleasure?

[BikeRunSki]

Can you get a service contract for the pool? I'd kill for a pool and I live inYorkshire.

[TheLovelyBoots]

I'd kill for a pool and I live inYorkshire.

World's Most Idle Pool

[popmimiboo]

DC are 13, 12 and 8. They can all swim and we're looking at a pool that's 1 metre deep so safety isn't a real worry. We don't have many friends or neighbours with younger ones so that's not a major concern.

[SavoyCabbage]

I can't think of anything worse than having a pool. Well, I can but I would hate one. It's the responsibility I think. The PH and the drowning. It's probably irrational.


My dh feels the same as you, that I'm doo-lally but I feel really uncomfortable with the idea.

[popmimiboo]

And I do think that the oldest two would be willing to put in cover, fish out debris and help scrubbing when it's emptied.

The bits I don't know how to deal with are filling and emptying it!

[eurochick]

My ILs have a pool at their holiday home and whenever we are there, they seem to spend more time maintaining it than using it (getting the chemical balance right, removing leaves and insects, cleaning the filter, etc). I love it but then I don't have to do all that when I visit!

[BuntingintheSunshine]

Pools need chemicals to keep them clean, you can monitor the levels yourself if you've a pool shop nearby and buy the relevant stuff. If it gets out of control and goes green it'll cost a lot to put right. Not sure how filters work with freestanding pools, ours (a rental house) has a huge filter and vacuum thingy. They do get cold and take time to warm, depends how much of a wuss you/your DCs are. Also a good cover costs a fair amount depending on size. But we'll miss our pool, we're moving rentals soon and might well not have a pool again as it's been a godsend with Aussie summer temps in the 40s for days on end.

[BikeRunSki]

I'd kill for a pool and I live inYorkshire.

World's Most Idle Pool



Possibly boots but it would be fabulous for about 4 days a year.

[LadyNexus]

Your being fair if you get one.

Provided that you are totally ready and willing to do all the maintenance etc. by yourself regularly so DH doesn't end up with an eyesore/ wildlife spawning poll in the back garden.

Because let's face it, you know it and we know it....your kids aren't going to clean it. Maybe for a week or two...tops.

[HayDayQueen]

1 metre deep? What's the point????!!!!

If you're going to be doing the work of keeping it clean you might as well get a decent depth pool.....

And to get more use out of it, it should be heated so that you can use it either side of the 'hot' summer period.

BikeRunSki - I'm with you, I'd get one. We can't here but next house.....

Would even make it an indoor one if I could afford it.....

[popmimiboo]

The one we looked at has a filter and vacuum thingy! It has a "bubble cover" (supposedly to warm the water) and "hoover".

My friend has a dug in big pool and it's always going green! She throws some chemicals in but doesn't seem to monitor it very well! It costs a fortune to fill too but they only empty and fill it every couple of years!
I wouldn't want that kind of hassle but I'm sure a smaller free standing one can't be such hard work...?!

[MidniteScribbler]

My previous house had an above ground pool and it was a nightmare. Cost me a fortune to try and keep it usable, and in the end I sold it for peanuts to some other sucker person who wanted one for her kids. Was so glad to see the end of it. I really don't blame your DH, those sort of pools are a pain in the butt, they're not big enough to be able to keep the balance of chemical needed for lovely clean swimming water.

One metre deep isn't all that much for teenagers. They'll really not get to do too much than float around or sit in it. They're going to want to splash, dive and play games, and will be pretty restricted with that size pool.

Depending on where you live, you may also have to pay to have a pool fence installed. Even the cheapie above ground pools need to have council approval and proper fencing to be left in the backyard, otherwise you have to fill and empty them every single time you want to use it.

I now have a proper in-ground pool and love it. I got the automatic chlorinators, pool cover and automatic cleaner installed, so it is genuinely very little maintenance. I'd never have an above ground one again.

[popmimiboo]

Hayday -I'm not sure you even get free standing deeper than 1 metre (ok 1m20)! We'll never get a sunk in one if DH is putting up this amount of protest to a £200 plastic one!

[wobblyweebles]

A smaller one still need chemicals.