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To think people being really early for things are as inconvenient as people being really late?

(34 Posts)
Freckletoes Sat 07-Jun-14 15:58:04

I'm an "arrive with seconds to spare" kind of person now I have kids. If I think I am going to be late for something I will do my best to let someone know. I prefer to make arrangement that are a bit flexible-"between 10 and half past" type of thing. If I have something really important to get too and there is a chance of bad traffic or similar I will set off ridiculously early and if I arrive way before the time expected I will wait in the car or get a drink etc. But I have had 2 occasions this week (and more in the past) where people have arranged to come to me for things then arrive up to an hour before the agreed time (and a definite time, not an in between thing). First occasion I was in the bath, second occasion this morning I was having a cheeky lie in when a neighbour popped in (actually in the house as is his way hmm) way before arranged and before 8 am! I have in the past had people disgruntled because I am not in an agreed place 30 minutes before an agreed time. AIBU or should I be ready for arranged things way before they are meant to happen?!

Lauren83 Sat 07-Jun-14 16:00:50

My pet hate too, mil has done that to me when I have been in the bath and come an hour early with her friend, also when I interview people for jobs and they turn up 40 min early thinking it makes them look keen when its just a pain!

Clobbered Sat 07-Jun-14 16:03:14

YANBU. I teach a small number of pupils from home, and the vast majority have always turned up on the dot for their lessons. There was one family that persistently turned up early, despite requests for them not to, and I just stopped answering the door until their appointed time. Didn't stop them peering through the windows to see if I was there, and they never ever got the hint that I was busy doing other stuff. Makes me really angry, and worse than being a few minutes late in my opinion. I'm frequently only just ready in time, or dashing back from somewhere else, and I find it incredibly rude, inconsiderate and presumptuous of people to arrive early. Phew, rant over!

MrsItsNoworNotatAll Sat 07-Jun-14 16:05:24

Oooh I'm guilty of this. I have a hatred of being late for anything so I do turn up earlier than I really need to. Hadn't occurred to me it could be annoying to anyone.

I have turned up very early for interviews and it's not to give the impression I'm keen it's to settle my nerves become you interrogate me wink

MrsItsNoworNotatAll Sat 07-Jun-14 16:06:32

Before you interrogate me not become. Tut tut!

tripecity Sat 07-Jun-14 16:09:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

leggingsarenottrousers Sat 07-Jun-14 16:11:29


It's just as inconsiderate, sometimes more so (I'd rather wait a couple of minutes for someone rather than have them arrive as I'm still getting dressed, for example).

Stinkle Sat 07-Jun-14 16:12:45


I hate when people are early more than I hate people being late.

In fact I don't hate people being late at all, I struggle with time keeping and tend to arrive places with seconds to spare. I'm certainly never ready for anything before I need to be.

MiL always does it, worst time being we had her over for Christmas last year, she was supposed to arrive at 11, give us time to potter around, have some tea, wake up a bit, get showered and dressed, etc, she turned up at 8am, the kids hadn't even woken up at that point

AllDirections Sat 07-Jun-14 16:50:45

I'm always ready 15 minutes before the arranged time if people are coming here. Just in case they arrive early! Learned from experience grin

I have to be careful about arriving too early because I like to be punctual. I have sat in the car on occasions and waited.

restandpeace Sat 07-Jun-14 16:52:32

My pil doi it all the time... Does my head inxx

PrincessBabyCat Sat 07-Jun-14 16:59:11

If I'm ever early to a designated spot it's probably because I wanted to grab a coffee or something first. I am lousy with time, so I'm either really early or really late who am I kidding, I'm never early. But I never arrive on time to people's houses. It's weird. At least here in the US it's just normal to be 15 minutes late to a house party, and you're a bit dorky if you arrive on the dot.

FIL arrives early to things and it drives me nuts. It's his own fault if he's waiting in the restaurant, not mine.

MuttonCadet Sat 07-Jun-14 17:00:18

I'd rather people were early than late.

FryOneFatManic Sat 07-Jun-14 17:01:47

I generally arrange to be somewhere 5-10 mins before the agreed time, although it will depend on the activity/location, etc.

I would not be happy at someone turning up, especially at my house, earlier than this, as I'd likely be doing stuff/getting ready.

Anyone getting cross with me for not being somewhere 30 mins before an agreed time would be told to stop being silly; if they'd wanted you there at a certain time, to explicitly state that time and not assume that you somehow understand they meant 30 mins earlier.

Lilaclily Sat 07-Jun-14 17:06:28

My inlaws do this
We invited them for Xmas one time
They said they'd travel up Xmas day (4 hour drive) to avoid Xmas eve traffic
Great, I thought , we'll get the morning together in pjs drinking bucks fizz, loads of time to prep dinner
They left at 6am & arrived at 10am shock
we were expecting them at 1pm

Or we invite them for the weekend & they say they'll come on the Thursday and stay until Monday for fecks sake

Lauren83 Sat 07-Jun-14 17:07:43


I'm sure most people don't mind especially if there's a waiting area, but in my job if someone arrives early one of my team then has to make small talk for often 40 minutes with them which is awkward all round especially when they are busy and there's nowhere for them to sit

I did have one guy turn up at 10.20am for a 12 noon interview recently, I thought he had the time wrong but he didn't, I said do you want to come back at 12, he said ok see you at 11 I will come back then, I had to insist 11.55am was the earliest he was to return... Odd

StrawberryMoose Sat 07-Jun-14 17:23:10

Gah, yanbu! I hate it when people arrive too early and I find it more than inconvenient. This definitely is one of my pet hates.

I will sit in the car and wait or walk around the block to avoid rocking up earlier than planned and inconveniencing whoever I'm visiting.

I have a friend who is always guaranteed to be anything up to 45 mins early. I always have to account for this and make sure I'm not caught out in the shower or hoovering or something!!

usualsuspectt Sat 07-Jun-14 17:26:35

I'm always early. I hate being late for anything.

People who are always late annoy me far more than people being early.

candycoatedwaterdrops Sat 07-Jun-14 17:26:47

Really early and really late are equally annoying IMO.

ICanSeeTheSun Sat 07-Jun-14 17:29:38

Hate it when people arrive early, but they know where the wine is and I continue doing what needs to be done.

Then I tell them sort the music out.

MoominAndMiniMoom Sat 07-Jun-14 17:30:40

Oh god not one of these threads again hmm how long until the first "Late people have no excuses, all their excuses are rubbish and made up, you just value your own time above everyone else's" bull comes out?

GoringBit Sat 07-Jun-14 17:30:48

I always try to arrive 10-15 minutes late, but that's because we're never ready for guests on time.

HmmAnOxfordComma Sat 07-Jun-14 17:30:51

Really early IS just as rude as really late.

Just wait around the corner, FFS, if you must set off early.

I've had GPs turn up for meals/parties two hour early and I'm still cleaning the floor!

Up to 15 mins early or late is fine, I think. Any more, not so much.

PrincessBabyCat Sat 07-Jun-14 17:35:19

Oh god not one of these threads again hmm how long until the first "Late people have no excuses, all their excuses are rubbish and made up, you just value your own time above everyone else's" bull comes out?

Followed by the "Well, I'm fine waiting 3 hours, that's what drinks and appetizers are for!". grin There's just no middle ground on this I'm afraid.

fairnotfair Sat 07-Jun-14 17:37:17

I'm early for everything. Being late makes me feel almost ill. But I won't actually arrive until the designated time - I'll go for a walk, look around the shops, have a coffee or whatever, until the time is right.

I'm happy to be 5 mins early for a business meeting or an interview, but I'd never turn up at somebody's house early. (Come to that, if I'm going to somebody's house for supper or lunch, I wouldn't arrive on the dot either; I think it's more polite in these circs to be a few minutes late, rather than knocking the door down)

However, IMO it's never acceptable to be late collecting your DC from a party!

KeepingUpAnon Sat 07-Jun-14 17:37:37

I hate this, it's so so rude.

On ds1's 4th birthday we arranged a big party at home to start at 1pm. We had about 30 people coming, 10 friends from school and a few parents and the whole family. Ds's Godfather and his girlfriend turned up at just gone 11. The kids were running around naked, I was in my dressing gown hoovering the stairs and dh was midway through doing the buffet. So inconvenient.

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