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To want to leave the toddler dance class after poisonous post on Facebook

(87 Posts)
OlderMummy1 Fri 06-Jun-14 22:27:31

I take my 2 year old to a dance class every week. She absolutely loves it and all of the other mums seemed lovely. We have been going for over a year and I have a close friendship with a couple of mums but just know the others to say hello to.

There are 2 new mums in the group who talk all through the session. It is very distracting to the children and can be annoying, particularly when they are more focused on chatting than their children but these things happen from time to time at various groups I go to. The usual dance teacher is quite strict about parents talking but she is on maternity leave, the cover teacher lets it go.

There have been a few incidences over the last few weeks. One of the mums was chatting and didn't notice that her child had had an accident and done a puddle on the floor, another mum had to tell her. This week, again the mum was not paying attention and her child smashed a maraca on the floor causing it to split open and the beads inside to go everywhere. This was dangerous as it caused a safety hazard. Shockingly, the mum didn't notice due to talking, even when her child was sobbing. In the end her child was so upset that they had to leave.

Then yesterday a post appeared on the Facebook wall of the dance group with lots of mums tagged and the content was absolutely shocking! It complained about the talking mums but also made awful personal remarks....honestly if you read it you would be shocked! I was!

Now, the poster had a point as they do disrupt the class but there was absolutely no need for some of the content of the post. It would have been better to just have a quiet word with the teacher.

I now have to decide whether to enrol for another term. It is a lovely class and my daughter loves it. However, I now feel like I am back at school due to the bitchiness surrounding this incident. I am dreading going next week as the atmosphere will be awful and everyone will be suspected of knowing who posted the message. Am I being daft to just want a quiet life and not want to be involved with a group like this??

passionfruitbikini Fri 06-Jun-14 22:31:23

Surely if they posted on a FB group then you will be able to see who posted it?

OlderMummy1 Fri 06-Jun-14 22:32:47

It was posted my someone who said they were a friend of one of the mums but didn't say which one.

confusion77 Fri 06-Jun-14 22:33:35

You're not being daft, but your daughter loves the class. Can you just plead ignorance and that you've not seen the favebook post?

guineapig1 Fri 06-Jun-14 22:34:21

This is why I really dislike Facebook andthoughIrarelypostamtoonosytodeketemyaccount

Tbh if your dd enjoys and benefits from the class I would register for next term and simply remove yourself from the fb group and not engage in any of the discussions.

passionfruitbikini Fri 06-Jun-14 22:34:28

Ah in that case then I'd just keep going to the class and just not get involved in any politics or bitching. It will all die down I'm sure

He11y Fri 06-Jun-14 22:34:51

As your daughter enjoys the class it's worth just getting through it yourself. You're an adult so I'm sure you can cope.

If it starts affecting your DD then that's different.

OlderMummy1 Fri 06-Jun-14 22:35:37

Yes, it has really made me think about shutting down my Facebook

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Fri 06-Jun-14 22:35:41

I also don't quite understand - how is the comment anonymous? I didn't think any comment on FB could be anonymous? confused

Are the chatty-women members of the FB group? If so, maybe they will no longer feel welcome & leave (I know I would!).

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Fri 06-Jun-14 22:38:25

Ah, x-post, it was posted on a fake account under a fake name a 'friend'.

If your DD enjoys the class then keep going.

OlderMummy1 Fri 06-Jun-14 22:38:30

It was posted by a friend of one of the mums but I don't know who. I'm not sure if the chatty mums were tagged or not as I don't know their names.

qazxc Fri 06-Jun-14 22:40:20

I wouldn't pull out DD from the class, she really enjoys it.
Also you didn't post the comment or even know who did, you have nothing to feel awkward about.

OlderMummy1 Fri 06-Jun-14 22:43:19

It was just the vileness of the comment that has upset me really. It seemed like such a nice group. This is the comment....(I have removed any identifying features)

paddyclampo Fri 06-Jun-14 22:47:08

Holy cow that's not very nice! But if your DD enjoys the class I wouldn't let a small minority spoil it for you both.

hmc Fri 06-Jun-14 22:52:55

That's horrible - the ginger whinger bit in particular

Bearbehind Fri 06-Jun-14 22:53:08

I wouldn't worry too much- the shit will proper hit the fan after that post. Whoever wrote it sounds pissed.

Facebook isn't anonymous- even if it's not one of the mums it won't take Miss Marple to find out who the poster is friends with.

It will kick off then die down- don't take your daughter away if she enjoys it.

OlderMummy1 Fri 06-Jun-14 22:56:19

I know BearBehind, I'm expecting some sort of cat fight next week confused Just don't want the little ones to see it if it does kick off.

Bearbehind Fri 06-Jun-14 22:58:53

I suspect the drama will happen before the next class but maybe give next week's class a miss or at least don't take DD but go anyway so you can update us

guineapig1 Fri 06-Jun-14 22:59:17

Upset and frustrated as you are I think in you position I would just try to rise above it and disengage with any of "discussions" for the sake of your dd. What is important is what your dd gets from the class. It would be a shame that a couple of bitchy mums spoil it fir your dd and other as there may well be other mums sharing your unease.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Fri 06-Jun-14 23:00:35

Oh lovely shock. Making a point that perhaps they could concentrate a little more on their DCs is one thing. Personal attacks on a small child ("strange ginger whinger kid") is something else entirely!

Do parents often take friends to watch the class? If not, it won't be too hard for people to work out who the poster is.

Although I would still put money on it being an actual dance-class mum using either a fake account or a friend's account.

VivaLeBeaver Fri 06-Jun-14 23:01:21

Oh you so have to go to the next class and tell us all what happened.

OlderMummy1 Fri 06-Jun-14 23:01:24

One of my friends has decided not to re-enrol now and the other is unsure. It'll be even worse if I'm 'on my own' so to speak next term.

Finola1step Fri 06-Jun-14 23:01:51


Being nasty about a small child. That's disgraceful.

There is no way that the two mums in question won't find out. It is only a matter of time.

Keep going to the classes as long as your dd enjoys them. But don't get involved in this nonsense. Easier said than done.

VivaLeBeaver Fri 06-Jun-14 23:02:48

And that post is totally from one of the other mums who has set up a fake FB account.

OlderMummy1 Fri 06-Jun-14 23:03:11

Some do take friends to watch sometimes but I can't say I really notice. Some of the others might have an idea of who it is I suppose.

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