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AIBU to not let my DD go and see her dad?

(7 Posts)
ScrambledEggAndToast Fri 06-Jun-14 22:14:16

My daughter was due to see her dad last weekend. The last time she saw him was before Christmas and he barely bothers with her tbh. Anyway, last time was a disaster. He was pulled over by the police and it turned out he didn't have any insurance. I asked if I could see his documents this time to ensure that all was in order but he refused calling me vile things which I won't repeat. In the end I said she couldn't go down.

It is not just the lack of insurance, he already has a conviction for drink driving and loads of points for speeding although I think some of these must have expired now.

Was I unreasonable to ask to see the documents in the circumstances? I have been made to feel like the villain but in my eyes it was a reasonable request.

Penguinator Fri 06-Jun-14 22:28:33

YANBU! He sounds vile. There's no way I'd have let my DC go and visit after that kind of behaviour either (not to mention the history of drink driving). If he really wants to see her he should make the effort to do so on neutral ground and not compromise her safety; if he's not willing to do that she's better off without him IMO. You were right not to let her go.

Lancashiregal10 Fri 06-Jun-14 23:46:12

I take it there is no court order in place? So basically your call and no way are you being unreasonable. I would be considering a complete cut off especially if on top of this most of the time he can't be bothered
Does your DD enjoy seeing her dad OP?

CarbeDiem Sat 07-Jun-14 01:15:52

Under the circumstances YANBU.
I wouldn't let her go.
Agree with above poster - neutral ground.
Is there someone local, a grandparents house maybe where he could see her for a few hours?
I also think it's unfair of him to rock up after months of not seeing her and expect just to take off - depending on her age - she could feel awkward around him.

MrsBungle Sat 07-Jun-14 01:34:19

Yanbu. I had a feckless dad who I only ever saw when it suited him. My mum felt she had to send my brother and I to visit him and we hated it! I hardly knew him yet we were sent once or twice a year. He can't be trusted not to be a dick and therefore I would not send my children to him.

PrincessBabyCat Sat 07-Jun-14 02:23:55

he already has a conviction for drink driving

All you needed to put. YANBU.

ScrambledEggAndToast Sat 07-Jun-14 05:50:45

I think she is fairly mixed about seeing him tbh. When I said she wasn't going she just shrugged her shoulders and carried on making one of those loom bands. No court order in place but think NC would be fairly easy to do. It would be hard to meet on neutral ground as we live a fair distance from each other, he is in the Midlands and I'm about a three hour drive away. Also, he could get into a fight with a brick wall so meeting in a neutral place is likely to be hard anyway.

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