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Bridesmaid asked to pay for free room

(233 Posts)
kellibabylove Thu 05-Jun-14 13:08:24

I probably am being unreasonable about this so havn't said anything to the 'grooms'. I'm a 'brides'maid at a wedding this summer for an old friend who I see quite alot so I know all about the wedding planning. Basically the hotel have messed up in a good way and gave them more free rooms at the hotel than they have paid for, contracts signed so nothing the hotel can do about it now.
So my friend has asked me to stay over after the wedding as he would like all the wedding party and family to stay, and id like to, although the venue is only 20 minutes taxi ride home so we don't really need to. My friend has asked me to pay for the extra free room 'at a discount'. I feel like they're trying to make a profit from the free rooms and it makes me feel abit hmm
I'm spending alot of money for the day on my hair, accessories & shoes which of course I don't mind paying.
I don't know whether I should just get a taxi home afterwards because I feel taken advantage of considering it's a free room and the best men dont have to pay but I'm expected to.
Any thoughts?

JennySense Thu 05-Jun-14 13:10:19

Have you said to her "I thought the hotel wasn't charging you for the rooms?" confused

CoffeeTea103 Thu 05-Jun-14 13:10:47

Yanbu, I would not stay and let your friend know why. What friend does that to a friend.

WowOoo Thu 05-Jun-14 13:10:53

Do you mean your 'friend' is trying to claw some money back from you?
I understand weddings can cost a lot.

I would say that I can't afford to spend anymore, apologise and say you'll be getting a taxi home.

ViviPru Thu 05-Jun-14 13:11:31

Even before "the best men dont have to pay but I'm expected to" this was heading towards 100% unanimous YANBU.

Have you brought up the subject of the best men with her?

Coughle Thu 05-Jun-14 13:11:36

My sister tried to do this to me. I said I would rather pay full price for a room on my own, rather than pay for a free room, as that didn't suit right with me. In the end she offered the room for free. I didn't care either way really. Of you can afford it I'd get a taxi... Make sure you tell them why, they might not realize how rude and grabby they're being!

LifeTakesGrit Thu 05-Jun-14 13:12:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PuppyMonkey Thu 05-Jun-14 13:13:32

Just TELL her you're confused about why you're being asked to pay for a free room....

ViviPru Thu 05-Jun-14 13:15:23

HIM I mean.... Groomzilla?

kellibabylove Thu 05-Jun-14 13:16:21

I did subtly mention it to him (as if I wasnt talking about the room for me) and he basically said its away of getting some of the cost of the wedding back. So I now feel like i'm paying to attend the wedding and for the privilege being bridesmaid. I'm already giving them money as a gift. I refuse to pay for their spends on honeymoon.

HecatePropylaea Thu 05-Jun-14 13:16:29

I'd say, that's fine. I'll call the hotel and pay them direct.

KoalaFace Thu 05-Jun-14 13:16:31

He'll probably be mortified when you say "I'd rather just pay for the 20 minute taxi home than pay for a room that should be free!"

Hopefully he'll see sense before you need to say anything!

gorionine Thu 05-Jun-14 13:16:58

I would ask without detours why she is making you pay for a free room.

sonlypuppyfat Thu 05-Jun-14 13:17:00

What happens to women when they get married? A friend of mine was like this she asked me to be bridesmaid but I got pregnant never mind I was married and 35 at the time she told me I would spoil her photos! And then she expected me to pay for my own dress a long sky blue monstrosity I told her I wasn't going to do it in the end. If I were you I'd get a taxi home, don't be used like this.

LayMeDown Thu 05-Jun-14 13:17:52

Just say you can't afford it. You'll get a taxi home.

Cheeky buggers

HecatePropylaea Thu 05-Jun-14 13:17:55

xpost, sorry. if he knows you know the rooms are free, then that wouldn't work!

I'd just be honest. Sorry, I can't afford to contribute towards your wedding. Best see if someone else can help you. I'll stay somewhere else.

Itsfab Thu 05-Jun-14 13:18:00

Has she asked you to pay as she thinks you will not make a fuss whereas the men would challenge her on it?

APlaceInTheWinter Thu 05-Jun-14 13:18:12

YANBU - tell him you'll get a taxi because you feel a bit odd paying for a free room.

tbh I'm feeling all judgey that they're taking the extra free rooms. Personally if I was them, I'd have told the hotel they had made a mistake.

KoalaFace Thu 05-Jun-14 13:18:22

A free room is a lovely treat. Having to pay for a room when you're only 20 minutes away is daft.

Tell him to try and swindle someone who lives further away!

NiceAndAccurate Thu 05-Jun-14 13:18:27

Just ask him directly about it.

kentishgirl Thu 05-Jun-14 13:19:24

I'd want to ask why the best men aren't being asked to help pay for their wedding as well then, but I guess you can't without causing an argument. Just take the taxi home.

Iggly Thu 05-Jun-14 13:20:05

Tell him that you didn't decide to be a bridesmaid so shouldn't pay for the privilege.

Cheeky fuckers.

kellibabylove Thu 05-Jun-14 13:22:05

I was in two minds whether to post or not as I thought I was being grabby expecting the free room. But its the fact hes asked me to stay and he knows were saving up to buy a house and moneys tight right now. I'm glad I posted now and have been reassured my thoughts our justified. What a dickhead!

kellibabylove Thu 05-Jun-14 13:22:49

are* blush

StealthPolarBear Thu 05-Jun-14 13:23:57

"he basically said its away of getting some of the cost of the wedding back."


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