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Expect DH to Facebook defriend OW after affair ended?

(78 Posts)
st273447 Wed 04-Jun-14 16:10:47

So the affair has ended and DH committed to our relationship, but my DH is still FB friends with OW?

Should I have to ask to defriend or am I being unreasonable?

SlimJiminy Wed 04-Jun-14 16:46:26

YANBU. Agree that if OW thought it was over she'd have deleted/blocked him herself.

st273447 Wed 04-Jun-14 17:04:59

I know I shouldn't need to ask, but just wondered whether anyone would think it's acceptable.

I won't ask but like many above, have made the assumption that the commitment to our relationship isn't to be believed.

DeepThought Wed 04-Jun-14 17:07:29

Sweetheart has he given free access to all methods of communication so that you can reassure self that all is as it seems at any time?

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Wed 04-Jun-14 17:08:28

One of the first things the OW would most likely do if he'd actually ended it was take him off her friends list on FB. That she hasn't yet speaks volumes.... I'd be willing to bet it's not over.

WhereTheWildlingsAre Wed 04-Jun-14 17:12:03

Not even slightly acceptable!!!

Gobsmacked that he hasn't just done this already. I cannot believe he is putting you in the position of having to ask.

BravePotato Wed 04-Jun-14 17:13:34

Well, if he was committed to your relationship, you should not even have to ask.

bloodyteenagers Wed 04-Jun-14 17:17:39

Are you usually this much of a doormat?
Ask him. On FB with her tagged wtf they are still contacts. When he has already dumped her arse.

Fairenuff Wed 04-Jun-14 17:21:46

No contact is no contact. Has he actually agreed to this?

AllAboveBroad Wed 04-Jun-14 17:24:23

If it was over and she has any kind of dignity left she would have blocked him already herself.
Unless he just doesn't really use FB then he should have definitely deleted her. It may not have crossed his mind.
Mention it to him and judge his reaction to your asking.
But this does sound a symptom of you not being 100% he is committed or you wouldn't ask. And, sorry to say, there is no law against multiple profiles...

AnyFucker Wed 04-Jun-14 17:27:59

No, don't ask him

Tell him it's a condition of you even considering that he stands a chance at putting things right. And that the fact he hasn't done it without you prompting him is already a huge black mark against him.

JonesRipley Wed 04-Jun-14 17:31:46



Find the strength to make demands on his behaviour. He betrayed you and you get to decide whether you get over that.

jeanmiguelfangio Wed 04-Jun-14 17:42:50

You need to tell him to do it. Nothing to do with asking. He doesnt need tl be friends with her on facebook, or have any way of contacting her, I think it should be a condition of your making things work.

brokenhearted55a Wed 04-Jun-14 17:47:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brokenhearted55a Wed 04-Jun-14 17:48:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chippednailvarnish Wed 04-Jun-14 17:52:30

You should defriend and block your DH permanently, sounds like it will save you a lot if heartache in the future.

AnyFucker Wed 04-Jun-14 17:53:01

Nah, I wouldn't be demeaning myself by contacting the OW on FB. Too Jeremy Kyle.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Wed 04-Jun-14 17:56:30

No definitely do not contact the OW. SHE is not the problem, HE is.

AnyFucker Wed 04-Jun-14 17:56:51

chip has the best plan

MostWicked Wed 04-Jun-14 17:59:00

I would ask him why he is still FB friends with her!
Ask him if he thinks that is appropriate.

OurMiracle1106 Wed 04-Jun-14 17:59:19

You shouldnt have to ask him to do it! He should have already done it!

SholerAndChocolate Wed 04-Jun-14 18:06:26

Nonononono. It is NOT the ow responsibility to make sure op's dh doesn't contact her again.
Don't demean yourself by contacting her. It's his responsibility to be faithful in your relationship and to do everything in his power to build the trust. IMO he should have already defrended and blocked, however I would give him the chance to now by telling him that's why he has to do. He needs to rebuild the relationship, he's te one that cheated.

SholerAndChocolate Wed 04-Jun-14 18:07:28

Chips plan sounds good! But failing that, he needs to defrended her at the very least.

RedRoom Wed 04-Jun-14 18:40:50

Absolutely taking the piss. What on earth is he thinking?! They shouldn't be 'friends' of any sort when he cheated on you with her. The cheeky sod.

QuintessentiallyQS Wed 04-Jun-14 18:42:52

My bet is that OW does not know it is over.....

PerpendicularVincenzo Wed 04-Jun-14 18:47:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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