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WIBU for dh to take a big pay cut and for us to claim more tax credits?

(388 Posts)
balenciaga Wed 04-Jun-14 11:47:03

I was going to nc for this as I think I'm gona be told we are being v v U. But fuck it am on my phone and can't nc on it and CBA to put laptop on to do it

Anyway. Dh has a new job. It's 32k, on that, we get 48 a week tcs with 3 dc (believe it or not that's ok money where we are)

However dh hates his new job, it's stupidly long hours and very stressful with no sign of letting up. I know it sounds pathetic but he has been in tears over it. we have a new (ish) born baby as well and he's never bloody here. And when he is, he is a tired mess and no good to any of us. He has a contact that has offered him a job working for him but it's only 20k

However it's a huge drop. And we initially thought he can't possibly take it as we would be skint. But then we did a calculation on hmrc site and worked out that if he took the new job we could claim higher tcs which would take us up to around a similar income, a bit less but not much

New job dh could do with his eyes closed and it's much less hours and easier work. So he will have a better work life balance and not be making himself Poorly with stress

But the idea of claiming more tcs doesn't sit right with me, and I also worry that soon they'll be put a stop to anyway

So I'm putting this to the mn fwiw I will be going back to work in a few months so we would not claim them long term

onetiredmummy Wed 04-Jun-14 11:50:23

I think personal happiness & a life with tears, stress & being knackered is not worth the money unless your backs are to the wall.

Take the £20k job & improve your family life smile

Jumblebee Wed 04-Jun-14 11:50:30

It makes sense to me!

You get a happier husband, the children get a happier dad and he can actually spend time with them and help you out a bit more which will make your life easier! Plus if he stays in his current job what's it going to be like when you go back to work? More stress and less time, I would guess!

dawndonnaagain Wed 04-Jun-14 11:51:33

It seems quite reasonable to me. The new job is obviously making him ill, it that continues he won't be able to work at all, this way, he is working, he isn't ill and he gets to spend a bit more time with the family. Eminently sensible. I suspect others may differ in their opinions, though.

CoffeeTea103 Wed 04-Jun-14 11:51:41

Yanbu, I think all round it will be the best solution. Everyone's happysmile. You will be going back to work too, so it's not like you will be stuck to this if it does change.

EleanorHandbasket Wed 04-Jun-14 11:51:50

There's no guarantee the 20k job will be any less stressful though.

Why not look for another 32k job? It's hardly captain of industry, 60 hours a week territory on that wage, is it?

At some point your DH is going to stop doing the job anyway either due to it making him unwell or because he is going to snap and chuck in the towel. It makes sense to move to another job now than wait for the inevitable crisis to happen.

EleanorHandbasket Wed 04-Jun-14 11:54:15

What kind of field is he in?

Would he get bored though doing a job that he could do with his eyes shut? I know my DP would

vitaminz Wed 04-Jun-14 11:55:50

If I was in your position I would tell your husband to take the £20k job. However, I think it shows just how ridiculous the situation has become whereby a job paying £20k with less hours to work can produce the same income as a job paying £32k with more hours and more stress. Is there any point in trying to progress a career these days?

sezamcgregor Wed 04-Jun-14 11:56:48

Bear in mind that Tax Credits go on what you earned last year, so initially, you'd get NONE and then next financial year, you will get some.

It would be a very skint year for you to get through.

I think that not having a stressed husband is better than having money, but if you've gotten used to have £x available each month, it might take a lot of getting used to.

At the end of the day, you do what's best for you and your family.

YANBU at all. Your DH is unhappy at work and has the chance of a better quality life. It will make him ill to carry on so yes, he needs to take the lower paid job.

We are at work for such a large percentage of our lives, we need to be happy there.

arethereanyleftatall Wed 04-Jun-14 11:59:18

It's not your fault, it's the system at fault, which results in the same ish income, regardless of hours worked.
So, yanbu.
One thing I would be careful of, is that as you say the system could change at any point, meaning your dh could have thrown away his 32k job. Also there's no guarantee this one will be easier.

PeachyParisian Wed 04-Jun-14 12:00:19

Yanbu to put your families happiness before money but yabu to do so at the expense of the public purse.

To be honest I would probably do the same though. Life's too short and a stressed DH will affect all of you.

dancinggerald Wed 04-Jun-14 12:00:23

Bear in mind that Tax Credits go on what you earned last year, so initially, you'd get NONE and then next financial year, you will get some.

Actually, when this happened to us they were v understanding about it and increased it when we appealed, so you might be ok. We're in a similar position - and 32k is loads to me, more than anyone in my family has ever earned anyway - but I loathe the life we have with DH's job, if he was prepared to give it up and go back to the 16k job he had before, I'd be ecstatic and do it in a heatbeat.

dinkystinky Wed 04-Jun-14 12:01:29

I wouldn't long term plan on tax credits - I rather suspect the government will end up rejigging/cutting them again in the not too distant future.

flipchart Wed 04-Jun-14 12:04:13

Like others have said I would be very wary on relaying on TC's.
The system could change and you could be wore off.

Wouldn't it be better to get to the root of the problem and make this job work.
The job is still new. Maybe once he has got a handle on his role properly he will find ways of managing his time better ( in other words cut corners that don't need to be so sharp)

RonaldMcDonald Wed 04-Jun-14 12:25:44

I don't think anyone should be in tears about going to work
If he is under huge amounts of stress and really cannot cope in his current job then he must try to change that

Has he considered asking to perhaps work 4 days per week?
Has he spoken to his boss about his job atm? Or HR to see if there was anyway he could shift some of his workload or to see if they can help at all?

If he tries that he might be surprised at how helpful his workplace can be.
If there is no other option then he could start to look around for other work. He doesn't have to grab a job paying almost a third less.

I think that tax credits should be the last consideration and I think they'll massively reduced in the next few years

TheSultanofPing Wed 04-Jun-14 12:26:49

Yanbu to want to do that. But I would be very wary of relying on tax credits tbh.

thetoysarealiveitellthee Wed 04-Jun-14 12:32:56

I wouldn't risk relying on TC Op unless you absolutely have to, tempting as it is. I'm in the same situation, I could easily take less hours, my manager has said I can, if I claim TC Id be on the same money. But if they change the system again (which they will, no doubt about it they are easing us in to it) Id be royally fucked.

Questions Id be asking:
- Would him taking the lower paid job risk his prospects in future of getting a better paid job when TCs change again?
- Would you be able to survive on his current wage for however long it may take for him to get another job when the TCs change?
- Could you consider working, as you may have to when TCs change to bolster the income.
- Quite a lot of people find their jobs stressful, is it not something that he can speak to his managers about? Is it not just new job jitters and things may settle down when he has been in the role for a bit longer? Could he not just stay in the role to get a bit more experience and then move on to a better company on similar pay?
- You said he has a contact who has offered him a job - have you checked his contract about restrictive covenants that prevent him from doing this if the contact is related to his current position (could end up with no job)

As I say I have considered this, but its just not worth it. What if I got into the nice little cosy safety net of TCs in my nice PT job and it all got took away / reduced? What if I then couldn't get more hours?

calculatorsatdawn Wed 04-Jun-14 12:39:57

It's there to be done and I dont see a problem with it.

I think there are other things you and DH should consider aside from the money.

as another poster said, would he be happy doing the other job, whilst it won't be stressful he might be very bored and that can sometimes be just as bad.

What is the career progression? if he takes a pay cut now could that put him back in terms of where he might get to in a few years time.

I've recently come out of a horrible job (daily crying, 70+ hours a week)but stuck at it knowing it would give me the skills I needed to get from where I was to where I wanted to be. 18 months later I now earn considerably more than I did in the awful job and I love it, but I wouldn't have been able to do it without the knowledge and skills I picked up from the job shaped dildo I recently left.

calculatorsatdawn Wed 04-Jun-14 12:41:01

X post with the toys (and she said it better than I did)

gatofeliz Wed 04-Jun-14 12:46:07

Go for it, but the sooner the better because we are at the beginning of the tax year.

Tax credits should reassess your yearly income based on his new income for the remainder of this tax year and adding it together to what he has already earned since April at his other job.

Dh has just changed job so we have had to do the same, it was very simple when i finally got through to the Tax credit office.

WooWooOwl Wed 04-Jun-14 12:50:26

Of course it's unreasonable to expect to work less and have three children and then be propped up to very nice income level by the state.

But then if the government are stupid enough to create rules like this, then I can understand why you'd want to take advantage.

Things like this are exactly why I think child tax credits should be scrapped.

flipchart Wed 04-Jun-14 12:54:03

I think all it takes is the Dail Mail or a government advisor to get hold of this thread as a good reason to abbolish TC's.

I would not, as I stated before, relay on them to always be there.

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