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Holy mother of fuck

(138 Posts)
nilbyname Tue 03-Jun-14 17:08:51

I might claw my own fAnjo off, it's so flaming itchy!

Just back from Spain, hideous thrush, not had it in eons, got some cannestan but it's not even touched the sides. No pun intended.

Please help me, I'm still young!

Hot, sore, itchy as a mo fo.

I've had a cool wash in water with a bit of tea tree, slathered on the useless cream, got some cotton knickers on.


SnotandBothered Tue 03-Jun-14 18:09:12

What fanny said.

Unless you are stranded, there really is no need to reproduce an olde worlde medieval witches cauldron up your fanjo.

Just get a pessary and revert to garlic & tea-tree fanjo when pessary fails to work

NorksAreMesssy Tue 03-Jun-14 18:11:35

Do NOT put garlic up your floozy!!!! That is not a good plan at all sad

NorksAreMesssy Tue 03-Jun-14 18:12:50

The recipe seems to be garlic, cranberry, tea tree and ski yoghurt.
One of Hestons?

Cyclebump Tue 03-Jun-14 18:13:49


Pooka Tue 03-Jun-14 18:15:24

If using oils, mix with full fat milk as a carrier. Otherwise the oil just sits on top of water, or goes on neat, neither of which are great.

nilbyname Tue 03-Jun-14 18:15:38

norks tell us?! What happened?

I once put garlic on a horrific spot and what can only be described as a welt appeared in its place. I'm garlic adverse. But....not ruling to put totally.

I live in the sticks, getting to a pharmacy involves an hour or so round trip in the car....not appealing, but dh will go once kids are in bed.

AuntieMaggie Tue 03-Jun-14 18:16:38

Wasn't there a thread where the OP put garlic up their arse to cure something?

nilbyname the condom suggestion isn't a bad idea to cool the irritation... if you can lie down and air your bits while covered in cool yogurt that may help too <remembers a time DP helped apply said yogurt>

You can get some herbal tablets that help and also cut sugar from your diet until it passes to heal inside out

ManchesterAunt Tue 03-Jun-14 18:17:44

Go and get the pessary, you might need 2 goes x

Trojanhouse Tue 03-Jun-14 18:18:22

Don't eat sugar or bread. Get the peasant and tablet

Trojanhouse Tue 03-Jun-14 18:18:53


U2TheEdge Tue 03-Jun-14 18:19:01

Welcome to my world.

I get it once a month without faill; sometimes even twice.

My GP put me on a long term treatment but apparently my vagina doesn't want to comply.

And yes, DH is treated and all of that.

Get treatment, use some yoghurt and wear no knickers in bed.

Nomama Tue 03-Jun-14 18:19:35

As soon as possible - cream, pessary and tablet, get all 3, sod what the packets say!
Now and until it stops itching - bio yog - if you can get a syringe barrel syringe it all the way inside, or a tampon pulled back into its applicator, fill the space with yoghurt and push it in, if not you'll just have to smush it in as far as you can reach.

Tee trea oil or any anti fungal stuff, rosemary oil etc (I am NOT recommending this, Daktarin, the athletes foot stuff, I was desperate), including nappy cream will help, any emollient cream at all will sooth. Do remember to dilute the oils!!

But mainly, wear mittens, don't scratch.

Sleepysheepsleeping Tue 03-Jun-14 18:20:39

No yoghurt with sugar in, step away from the Rachel's!

FabULouse Tue 03-Jun-14 18:21:30

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Thumbwitch Tue 03-Jun-14 18:26:17

Sorry, highly inappropriate, I know, but I did just <SNORT> at the "peasant" grin

4amInsomniac Tue 03-Jun-14 18:39:22

Also, the fluconazole tablets are much cheaper if you buy them from Amazon; I keep one in stock, as even next day delivery isn't soon enough when you really need one!

LividofLondon Tue 03-Jun-14 18:44:25

Probably not going to help on this occasion if you need something now, but I always have one of these Clotrimazole pessaries and a tube of this cream in my medicine cabinet just in case. It's a lot cheaper than Canestan!

Squeakyheart Tue 03-Jun-14 18:49:03

Paracetomol and an ice pack! Suggested by A and E nurse when my mum called when I was crying with the pain!

picnicbasketcase Tue 03-Jun-14 18:54:09

Get the peasant, he'll sort it grin

Primadonnagirl Tue 03-Jun-14 19:13:36

Not to take away from your discomfort but I thought. I'd share this amusing story..Many years ago when me and my big sis still lived at home she had thrush. So Mum told the whole you do..not to touch the huge pot of natural yoghurt cos it was for Sis. A couple of days later Dad grumbled.." Don't know why you bloody bothered with that yoghurt..I haven't seen her eat any of it yet!"

CarbeDiem Tue 03-Jun-14 19:26:10

NorksAreMesssy Garlic worked very well for me although I appreciate it may not for everyone.

Longdistance Tue 03-Jun-14 19:40:56

Get to H&B to get some aphodiphillis (sp?). No sugar or wheat, and take some Fluconazole.

Should kill the bastard.

nilbyname Tue 03-Jun-14 20:30:29

Dh is out to get the duo stuff. I am sat in a nappy with yogurt on my nethers. The tea tree oil bath worked for a while, but it's really rather itchy bitchy again.

Have just phone a mate who says, drink some juice/water with bicarbonate of soda in it? Can anyone verify?

I have to work tomorrow. In a school. Itchy my fanny is NOT ON really is it there? Can I phone in sick with thrush?

picnicbasketcase Tue 03-Jun-14 20:31:57

Have you already tried making some kind of ice pack?

nilbyname Tue 03-Jun-14 20:36:13

Iced up condom on.

More supplies.

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