My DD (who is 3) hardly knows her aunt. My DSis and I aren't super close but we get on well and enjoy one another's company. My DSis also lives fairly close to me.
I really want my DD to have some strong female role models in her life and I want her to be close to family members who can support her in various ways. My DM has dementia so is essentially out of the picture, I don't have any other siblings and I'm not close to my cousins.
My DSis has never been massively into kids, has never wanted any of her own and is dubious of the effect they have had on other people's lives, that's the starting point, so I know she is not a natural child-lover.
On the other hand, she has a close relationship with her god-daughter, who is now in her teens, and has been very active in supporting her since she was really quite small, helping her through a family crisis when she was younger and mentoring her in trying to find work experience etc. So she is certainly capable of having significant relationships with children.
Trouble is, she isn't interested in DD at all. I've invited her on several occasions to do things with DD (birthdays, local trips to museums etc). Never stuff that is too kiddy, as I know that would turn her off, just low key things. She is never hostile or rejects these outright but they never come to anything, she usually fobs me off or cancels. She gives her very generous birthday/Christmas presents but that's about it.
I would like to try to bring them closer together. I know I can't force it and the last thing I want to do is to make DSis feel bullied or pressured into a relationship which she doesn't feel able to enter into. If she doesn't want to know I am happy to leave it where it is. But I would like to raise the idea with her in a gentle and flattering way, just pointing out that she's a brilliant role model and I'd really like for her to develop a relationship which I think could sustain my DD through her life.
Should I just make my peace with the fact that she has chosen for whatever reason not to engage with her niece, or should I gently raise it with her?
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AIBU?
more a WWYD, really... DD and DSis don't have much of a relationship
33 replies
quesadilla · 26/05/2014 13:36
OP posts:
NatashaBee ·
26/05/2014 13:39
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