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to not want to go into work tuesday

(132 Posts)
zobey Sat 24-May-14 15:12:13

Went on a works night out last night and from what i remember i spent the night in the pubs with just my director of the company and he kept feeling my bum and inviting me back to his hotel room. Im sure he kept buying me drinks all night too. How can i make things better at work. I didnt go back to his. I see him a good few times a day but all my work coleges i think know what was happening as he kept telling them to go away if they came over.

Lottiedoubtie Sat 24-May-14 15:17:16

Do you work with me? If you do, thank god you've seen sense and are writing this post.

Except sadly. I know you don't as we aren't back to work on Tuesday.

All you can do is go in with your head held high and do your job. Don't spend any more time with the director than you absolutely have to and stay professional. Thank any friendly colleagues who have/are trying to help you and discreetly say to them you feel a bit of a prat but definitely didnt sleep with the boss.

Unless you are saying he pressurised you? Which is obviously a different matter that you'll need union/police advice for.

zobey Sat 24-May-14 15:19:36

No presure just feel a mess as i dont normally drink and was getting a constaint supply of booze all night. And dont really know how to deal with it all.

Writerwannabe83 Sat 24-May-14 15:20:31

It sounds like you don't have much recollection of the night..

...perhaps you should learn how to say no when someone offers to buy you a drink.

Did you tell him to stop groping you?
Did you tell him to stop asking you back to his room?

Or did you let him continue with these advances whilst happily accepting drinks off him all night?

Perhaps you need to take some responsibility for your own actions??

Good luck on Tuesday!! grin

Wooodpecker Sat 24-May-14 15:20:31

Sounds like he tries it on and didn't get far. Do you see your part as a victim and his as a coercer or you as a willing party with two people flirting. Perception is everything in these situations.

zobey Sat 24-May-14 15:22:51

I dont really remember to be honest.

CoffeeTea103 Sat 24-May-14 15:24:03

I think best try to be professional on Tuesday, don't engage In any discussions with colleagues about this night. Don't try explain yourself. As for your manager, just keep it work related.
In future situations like this, you are not forced to accept drinks, and if someone touches you inappropriately you are able to walk away or stop it from continuing.

Writerwannabe83 Sat 24-May-14 15:24:07


zobey Sat 24-May-14 15:46:37

Really confused..

CoffeeTea103 Sat 24-May-14 15:46:55

Confused about?

zobey Sat 24-May-14 15:48:43

If i lead him on or not and if he is going to see it as a open ticket

Writerwannabe83 Sat 24-May-14 16:00:33

Then you need to talk to him, admit you were rather drunk and say that what went on wasn't professional (from both yours and his side) and you'd like to put it behind you.

zobey Sat 24-May-14 16:21:51

He was buying me tripple vodca all night ive just found out. Man i feel like poo now what could of happend to me.

CoffeeTea103 Sat 24-May-14 16:25:41

You sound very immature. You also sound like you are trying to paint yourself as some helpless victim. You were not, you could have refused those drinks but guess you were probably having too much of a good time and now regretting it. Speak to him and tell him that you shouldn't have indulged him and it will go no further. Make it clear that you don't want anything further.

FabULouse Sat 24-May-14 16:26:54

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FabULouse Sat 24-May-14 16:27:38

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Writerwannabe83 Sat 24-May-14 16:27:42

This smells like one of those scenarios where the much older man in a position of power tries to seduce the much younger naive immature employee.... hmm

Humansatnav Sat 24-May-14 16:31:28

FGS, stop blaming the op, she got rat arsed because someone was feeding her triple before vodka, if she's not usually a drinker it would be difficult to tell !!
OP, your just going to have to go in with your head held high & tell him your not interested, I'm afraid.
Are you quite young ?

CoffeeTea103 Sat 24-May-14 16:33:06

Humans how was he feeding her? I'm sure he wasn't holding her mouth open and pouring it down her throat. She accepted it so she's responsible for her actions.

Humansatnav Sat 24-May-14 16:37:17

Really Coffee ? So if you ply a non drinker with triple vodka there going to be able to be responsible ? Do you go in for victim blaming much ?

JassyRadlett Sat 24-May-14 16:38:29

Don't be disingenuous, Coffee. Being given a triple when reasonable folk would assume if they're given a drink, it's a single isn't ok - and yes it would have led to OP getting drinker faster than she'd anticipated.

The director is in a position of authority and power, he should keep his hands off his employees.

ICanSeeTheSun Sat 24-May-14 16:40:30

I may be wrong here, but why did you allow somebody who was keen on you to continue buying you drinks.

Writerwannabe83 Sat 24-May-14 16:41:11

Well seeing as she didn't even know what she was drinking up until twenty minutes ago, perhaps it would have been a good idea for him to have asked him at the time rather than just accept whatever was handed to her??

Writerwannabe83 Sat 24-May-14 16:42:23

Typo: she should have asked him at the time what drinks he was buying, not just accept them off him without even knowing what they were!

Humansatnav Sat 24-May-14 16:44:28

I do feel that some posters are missing the point.
As a youngster (18) I was slipped a Mickey Finn ( triple vodka in my usual half a cider and black ), I didn't know & its only because my best friend clocked it and stepped in that I didn't end up in a similar position to op.
empathy, people, not blaming.

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