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To be furious at swimming pool regulars who think they own the bloody pool. To the point of kicking a disabled child?

(316 Posts)
Sneezecakesmum Sat 24-May-14 13:40:45

Dont know who I am angrier with. Myself or the middle aged woman swimming in the local pool apparently doing her daily 50 lengths of breast stroke, when we (the interlopers) dared to be in her way and which gave her the right to kick a 5 year old disabled boy in the chest!

FFS she came up behind us so definitely saw us. I was holding a child festooned in buoyancy aids, (so both arms needed) and facing away from her so I didnt see her. The first thing I knew she kicked/or hit me lightly then with the next stroke kicked out strongly and I felt the childs body rock against me. Luckily he is a tough nut and just looked a bit shocked.

AIBU to want to rip her fucking head off? No apology, no acknowledgement despite being fully aware she hit us!

I just stood there like a wimp feeling it was my fault for being in 'her' pool angry

You know that thing where you do/say nothing at the time, but rage and vent afterwards? Well I am venting!

sunshinecity17 Fri 30-May-14 08:54:31

so why doesn't the manager rope off a lane for teh serious swimmers then?

MurkyMinotaur Thu 29-May-14 01:07:02

It is sad that people have a 'get out of my way' attitude. It's a lot like using roads in that respect! I think we're all that way, to be honest.

It's tricky. I'm usually the door mat who waits for a space before starting a lap, stops, treads water, zigzags etc to give other swimmers space. I seem considerate, but inside I have the same 'me first' attitude, it's just that it manifests in me getting frustrated about having allowed others to go first! Haha. Same thing really.

Pagwatch Wed 28-May-14 15:46:08

I suspect, and very much hope, that mnhq won't remove a thread just because you don't like the posts.

I would have thought it would be easier to just stop replying. Every time you post it bumps back into active convos.

mercibucket Wed 28-May-14 15:37:16

It really depends on the pool. We have two pools. Both used for swimming but one is more suitable for children as it is about 1.1 m deep (approx. My 6 year old cant stand in it but my 8 year old can)
That is not a 'learner' pool but is not ideal for lap swimming

Presumably it is not a 'toddler' pool where you cant really swim at all, as the centre is still selling tickets to swimmers

Sneezecakesmum Wed 28-May-14 15:36:13

Asking for thread to be withdrawn as it's clear some sad people just enjoy winding others up.

Picturesinthefirelight Wed 28-May-14 15:29:17

Have any of the posters here ever seen or been in a learner pool. It's laughable to think someone can try to swim serious lengths in one!

Picturesinthefirelight Wed 28-May-14 15:28:23

" piss off"

But not in a pool obviously!!!!

mercibucket Wed 28-May-14 15:25:22

Well i have reported your aggressive swearing but i think it is becoming clear who had the problem with swimming rage

Sneezecakesmum Wed 28-May-14 15:20:00

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

mercibucket Wed 28-May-14 15:18:51

Of course you are supposed to anticipate someone setting off swimming laps!
Standard procedure
See where the lap swimmers are
Go elsewhere to play

Sneezecakesmum Wed 28-May-14 15:08:45

Taken more in what way? It's a swimming pool there were people swimming and children splashing. I'm supposed to anticipate someone commencing a length at the opposite side of the pool?

Close the pool to swimmers? Just because one person behaves like an arse? Believe it or not it's possible to swim in a respectful manner.

It was a 1.1 metre learner pool. The other one had schoolchildren in it. Not big enough to cordon off.

mercibucket Wed 28-May-14 15:00:28

It isn't the learner pool if it is the only pool available for swimmers. It is just the pool

I do not rate that reply from the manager. Why dont they lane off part of the pool or just close to 'swimmers' and have it as a toddler session if it is that tiny a pool

ChelsyHandy Wed 28-May-14 14:49:01

Sounds as though the pool management didn't adequately cater for people who wanted to swim that day. They should have perhaps made it clearer that swimming wasn't permitted, instead of blaming the user for swimming.

The OP was the only one who knew her child was disabled, and should therefore have taken more care. It sounds like the swimmer was already swimming when she went in, so the OP should have been aware of this. The swimmer most likely wouldn't notice someone new entering the pool if she was swimming.

Judging by the number of times I've been kicked by breastrokers, it really is possible to kick someone and not notice, or perhaps assume it is a slight brush.

At the end of the day, swimming pools are for swimming, and I'd always come out on the side of someone doing just that.

Sneezecakesmum Wed 28-May-14 14:48:48

She didn't need to look round it was breast stroke she was looking ahead. Breast stroke is not a noisy splashy stroke so no I didn't hear anything. I was busy holding a child with armbands and a swim vest on so my concentration was where it should be. But I take your point and will try to grow some eyes in the back of my head so that I can get out of the way of adults swimming in a shallow learner pool. There was plenty of room it was not busy. She could have swum elsewhere but of course all the children should scatter when a real swimmer is in the learner pool confused

And I'm not moaning about me I'm complaining that a small child was heavily kicked.

Murky. This thread supports what the pool manager says about this red mist that a few swimmers get in a pool. Your experience sadly also. It's fair enough to have a 'get out of my way attitude' in a big pool with swimming lanes, but in a learner pool?

MurkyMinotaur Wed 28-May-14 14:36:59

You do get some awkward scenarios in pools. It's lots of people moving around in a defined space. And to be honest, everyone (myself included) tends to default to assuming our own right of way is more important and legitimate. Whose attitude is always naturally, 'Well, let's see how I can best share this place with these other swimmers'?

It is right to apologise when you accidentally make contact with another swimmer. But the root issue is selfishness, I think. 'How dare they not treat me with the importance I deserve?' 'How dare they block my path?'. We're all the same.

herecomesthesunlala Wed 28-May-14 14:18:38

It's a bit hypercritical to say that she should be looking where she was going when she was the one SWIMMING in the pool, making looking around difficult, and yet it's ok for you not to be looking when you were just standing around? Did you not hear her coming up behind you, really? Or were you just being annoying and refusing to move, but feel free to moan when you get accidentaly kicked?

Sneezecakesmum Wed 28-May-14 14:11:24

For the hundredth time I was facing away from her. She came up behind me! DD was standing at the pool edge with a baby in her arms.

The only one who knew she was there was her. Do you expect DD to scramble out of her way? It was a shallow learner pool!

God forbid that she should have swum around us.

herecomesthesunlala Wed 28-May-14 13:15:24

So you, your GS and DD were all kicked? Sounds like you were all getting in the way! If you are going to just stand there with a child, stand to the side!

She should have said sorry though, I think most people would (if they hit a stationary person, not if the other person was swimming too though)

mercibucket Wed 28-May-14 13:11:17

Wow what a long and angry thread.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream Wed 28-May-14 13:01:49

Or is it berk? Whatever

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream Wed 28-May-14 13:01:03

Good for you Sneeze. Ignore all the burks.

Sneezecakesmum Wed 28-May-14 12:58:26

thanks to the reasonable people that were supportive and the lady who said email! Feeling much happier with things now. Xxxx

The rest of you can get on your bike

Sneezecakesmum Wed 28-May-14 12:51:53

I did hide this thread and am surprised it has continued in my absence, but I was sick of being called a liar, a drama queen, my account of the incident being called into question and the final straw was being told not all people like children and they should expect to be kicked by a thoughtless adult if said adult was that way inclined. (And this is called mumsnet?!)

Lots of decent replies though and people not determined to rip me to shreds for being upset at the incident.

I took the advice of a poster and emailed the pool manager and guess what. The phenomenon lane rage is well recognised!

Now I understand where all the aggression towards me was coming from. It was a dry land example of lane rage directed at someone who objected to a child being hurt. I now understand all you lane ragers need to stick together and tear into someone who stands up to you.

Luckily the pool manager also informed me that he has personally had to reprimand swimmers behaving in this way, and we were just unfortunate to have been subjected to lane rage and were subjected to a 'kick' (not deliberate as I have said many times but with complete disregard or care as to whether anyone was kicked in the process of this woman's bully boy tactics, including a small child).

Email .....

Regarding the incident with the swimmer I am sorry this was the case and undoubtedly spoiled your session to an extent. As you pointed out contact with other bathers does happen and we find for the most part this is unintentional and all parties are genuinely apologetic and try to be courteous swimmers. However there are exceptions and it seems you were possibly the unfortunate victim of a phenomenon coined as ‘lane rage’ in my experience of dealing with this type of incident it is often people who would normally behave in a very respectful way to others that seem to get frustrated whilst swimming and kick, slap, ram or splash others who are in their immediate vicinity

Please do not continue with this thread. I now feel supported in RL by the people that matter and will never allow anyone to treat us in this way again.

Pagwatch Wed 28-May-14 10:14:07

Is this the bit where people rock up moaning how long this has been going on and post a 'fgs, op it is obvious that....and therefore...' attempt at a <gavel>

Is this still going on?

FryOneFatManic Wed 28-May-14 09:45:28

I totally agree with ComposHat. If you kick someone in the water, you know you've done it, and approximately how hard. Even if you'd passed someone and kicked out behind. So you apologise.

I went swimming last night. I accidentally kicked someone and apologised. I got kicked and they apologised to me.

It's not rocket science.

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