To not let my DH take DS to Wembley?

[sophe29]

DH football team since childhood (Leyton orient) have just got into the playoff finals at wembley. This is obviously a huge deal for DH but he is desperate to take our DS (5yo) to the final. Its on a Sunday afternoon, kick off at 3pm. We do not live in London so they will have to navigate trains and tubes there and back.


DS has been to a football game already but at our local, very child friendly stadium and enjoyed it but it was obviously very overwhelming for him. He is entering the football obsession phase and football is all he talks about but in a very abstract way that only a 5 year old can. Orient are not his favourite team but does pay attention to them as his they are his dads team.

I really am not happy about DH taking him. I feel he is too young and as it is such an important game there is more chance of the crowd being rowdy and violent. Apparently the Orient supporters stormed the pitch 3 times at last nights game.
I have also been to Wembley and know what an absolute nightmare it is getting in and out of it. Having spent over an hour trying to get on the tube after a Robbie Williams concert and hating all the pushing and shoving that went on, let alone the standing around, I can't imagine what it would be like with a bunch of drunk football supporters who will either be raucously celebrating or pissed off that they lost.

DH thinks Im HUGELY unreasonable for not letting him take DS but it really doesn't sit well with me and I just think 5 is too young.

Does anyone else have any experience of taking young kids to big football matches at wembley or similar? AIBU?

[Throughgrittedteeth]

ExP is also going to that game, but supporting the other team! Is your DH planning on drinking? Will he be going with other people with kids?

[Bowlersarm]

My DS has been going since aged about 4. I think it's fine, and a nice experience for your son to have with his dad.

[twofingerstoGideon]

Would you be happy for your DH to veto a plan that you had for taking DS somewhere?
Sorry, but I think YABU.

[Ploppy16]

We took DS and DD1 to a play off match a couple of years ago, DD1 was only 3, DS was 8. My feeling is YABU, they both enjoyed it immensely.mDD had never been to a stadium at all before the. But she lapped the whole experience up, from the party feeling beforehand to the match itself and the celebrations afterwards when our team won. There will be loads of children of all ages there.

[Throughgrittedteeth]

Ultimately though if your DH trusts that your DS will behave and not get bored I think he should go. Like Bowler said it'll be nice for them to bond over it.

[TimeForAnotherNameChange]

It's a bit young for a full on footy match and travel too. Ds 1 aged 8 has just been to Wembley for a rugby match arranged through his Cub Scout group. Family seating and a great atmosphere by all accounts, but he and his friends were still bored and antsy for most of the second half. With travel on top (car from Herts) they were out for nearly eight hours in total and it wiped him out the whole of the next day.

[MidniteScribbler]

Whenever I go to a show at one of the big stadiums I always get something to eat (or a glass or two of wine) before I leave. It lets the crowds head off and is easier to get out. Would this be a compromise? Is there somewhere nearby they could have a picnic or dinner together before heading home to avoid the crowds?

[Ploppy16]

We found it easier btw to stay overnight as we're not from London either. We used a hotel in Harrow on the Hill as a base.

[TimeForAnotherNameChange]

TwoFingers - I wouldn't veto decisions dh made for ds no, but I would expect to be generally consulted and for my opinions to be discussed and taken into account, and for us to reach a joint decision that we could both feel happy with.

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

Are they in the family seating part?

Me and DH have been taking our DCs to football matches since they were around 4. They have been to Wembley quite a few times.

We sit in the family part at wembley which is ok, I think.

The traveling? Yes it's a long journey. Yes it can be an absolute nightmare. But it's part of the day, the experience.

He will love it

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

Oh and not everyone who goes to football are drunk and rowdy.
Some of us are sober and quiet.

[Ploppy16]

The travelling was a big part of our experience, we went down the day before and bumped into a load of fellow fans with scarves hanging out of the windows on the M6

[NecesitoDormir]

With a 3pm kickoff it will be fine. DH tried to convince me to allow him take DD the other day for an 8pm kickoff on a school night....Er no DH it't not appropriate.

Your DS will love the experience with his Dad.

[Fleta]

YABU to say you won't "let" your DH do something with his son.

Wembley is a purpose built, all seater stadium with sky high security and well trained stewarding. I'd rather a child be there than in a bog-standard league stadium to be honest

[WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes]

I went to the FA Cup Final a few years ago travelling from outside London and the whole thing was easy, peaceful, no problems with transport, no pitch invasions, a great day out. Didn't take the DCs, but we did take them to the Olympic stadium aged 6 and 8 and that was all fine too. However a Cup Final or similar is a very long and tiring day for such a young child, that would be my main concern, but if your DH is prepared to deal with that I would say it's fine. I really wouldn't worry about pitch invasions, there will be a lot of security and you just stay in your seat if it happens.

[Picturesinthefirelight]

My dad took my two children to the FA cup final when dd was 9 & ds was 7.

Ds wasn't hugely into football so it was probably a bit much but dd loved it. They travelled on a supporters club coach so it was quit a family atmosphere.

[JustGrrrrrreat]

We took out then 3 yr old dd to wembley during the olympics. It was only an early game so not that important but it was packed out. We all loved it. I would go again. At a playoff i would try to get some higher up seats so you can look down on it all but be a little further removed.

Why dont you go too. A day like that will be a great family memory and you wont have to worry about dh not payong ds the attention he needs.

[EverythingsDozy]

I would let him go. I think it'd be a fabulous experience for him. I absolutely love going to the football matches and I'll certainly be taking DD (3) when I next go but DS (18m) will not be going yet.

[BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack]

Of course YABU.

He is your DH's son as well and I'm sure your DH would not even think about taking him if he felt it wasn't safe.

How would you feel if he turned round and told you there was somewhere you take DS that he doesn't want you to.

It's nice for them to do something together.

[Ploppy16]

Seating a a good point, we sat right on the back row at one of the goal ends. The view is amazing, you experience everything but weirdly it didn't seem overly noisy, even when we knew our team had own and everybody was screaming.

[Chocotrekkie]

I took my 6 yr old to a football stadium concert to see my favourite band playing. she loved it and still talks about it.
That was a bit of a late night didn't realise it would finish at 11

Would recommend ear plugs - guessing the cheering and singing could get quite loud for a 5 yr old.

The reactions from others ranged from "you are a bit silly doing that" to virtually calling ss.

[SamG76]

YABU - we were at Brisbane Road last night - c**p game - good result. It'll be a fantastic atmosphere at Wembley, and maybe they won't get to play there for another 15 years. Big bonding experience, and next day is a BH - what's not to like?!

[Joules68]

I'm very at the term 'let' also!

[Owllady]

My husband takes our son and his friends occasionally. He parks there for £20 I think. They sit in the family area. They have never had any trouble and love it :) the England games are really quite reasonable too and not too busy according to h, if you prefer his first time to be a non league game?

[twofingerstoGideon]

So would I, Timeforanothernamechange. But the OP was talking about 'letting' her DH take their son somewhere.