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To think this is awful

(33 Posts)
Greenpanther Mon 12-May-14 12:46:12

So I've name changed so this doesn't out me, and I'll try and keep it brief.

We went to a family wedding at the weekend, on dh's side.

I spent some time chatting to the bride's mother, and we just had a basic catch up about children etc. She went on to say that her youngest daughter is giving them lots of grief at the moment but didn't want to go into detail, but then went on to say she is 5 weeks pregnant and they're fuming.

I assumed they (the parents) were unhappy due to her still living at home, and isn't with the father anymore and is half way through a college course.

But no, they have given her an ultimatum to have a termination or leave by the end of this month, as the baby will be mixed race and they "don't agree with mixed race children".

I'd had a drink and couldn't think what to say. We were at that point interrupted by the bride, who doesn't know about her sister's pregnancy, as they didn't want to upset her in the run up to the wedding.

This has really surprised me that they could think like this. They also foster children which I find worrying considering they have racist views.

I'm really worried about dh's niece.

MargotLovedTom Mon 12-May-14 13:51:05

Sorry, niece!

Fideline987654321 Mon 12-May-14 13:52:43

Oops. Thanks Margot

MyBaby1day Tue 13-May-14 06:26:29

That's really disgusting, I'm mixed race and have been a credit to my Mum. They're just racist bigots. Hope she keeps the little baby.

bochead Tue 13-May-14 06:42:34

That kind of abhorrent attitude is not as uncommon as people would like to think even today, even amongst social workers and others you would expect to be more enlightened. It's just not voiced out loud any more due to political correctness.

However I would contact SS if she's at young & at college as if they throw her out then she becomes very vulnerable to all sorts of exploiters of the Rochdale type now benefits for young people are so restricted. SS can help her get into a Mum & baby unit, stay at college etc.

She'll probably feel driven to leave home too soon even if she accedes to their wishes and aborts under pressure. The parent/child relationship will be destroyed forever. I can't word it right as I'm crap with emotional stuff but I'm hoping you'll get what I mean.

Do reach out to her and let her know someone in the family is on her side and is willing to help her. If I were you I'd be offering a permanent spot on my sofa for her to stay, but as I'm mixed race myself I'm probably more prone to go out on a limb to help a victim of this kind of prejudice.

Greenpanther Tue 13-May-14 09:26:02

Thanks for all the responses.

Sorry not been back on to reply, my youngest keeps being sick with a fever and I've been up to my eyeballs with sick and washing.

I'm surprised how blatantly racist she was. I'm ashamed of myself for my lack of response. But she floored me with her comment.

I've spoken to dh who is very fond of all his nieces and we've invited her over this coming weekend. This will give us the opportunity to assist and support her in any way she wants.

Thanks again for all your kind advice and support.

Mybellyisaneasteregg Tue 13-May-14 11:05:48

That is so sad sad I hope you are able to support your niece. I couldn't imagine being in that situation, the poor girl sad

deakymom Tue 13-May-14 12:43:22

didn't ukip people lose their foster kids because they were members? im sure ss would be interested

can you offer her a room and sympathy?

Itsfab Tue 13-May-14 13:08:28

I really hope she is able to get the support she needs from you. There could be no going back with her relationship with her parents with this.

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