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To be annoyed about OH borrowing people money?

(66 Posts)
ElleDiamond Sun 11-May-14 18:13:26

Ok annoyed is an understatement atm. My dryer broke down recently, and we were to buy a new one when OH got paid. So when he got paid he borrowed money to his family without asking me (he never asks angry ) Unfortunately this just so happened to be the money for the dryer.

So today my childrens bedding needed washing and now i'm sitting at after 6 at night with soaking wet bedding trying to dry it on radiators, everyone is practically dying off the heat and lucky OH gets to escape it all by being at work hmm

I could swing for OH right now angry I also have a potty training toddler and I am about to give up on trying to dry all the washing, it just won't bloody dry.

I know this isn't massive in the grand scheme of things but I am just so fucked off. AIBU?

usuallysuspect Sun 11-May-14 18:46:10


Can you all STFU about it now.

Fluffycloudland77 Sun 11-May-14 18:49:33

I think they need to address their outgoings if they have to borrow money off your oh.

Does it get paid back to him?.

Motherinlawsdung Sun 11-May-14 18:51:51

Why can't people read the fucking thread, especially when it's only two dozen posts? OP has already acknowledged the grammatical mistake. I'm a stickler for grammar myself but RTFT!!

RandomMess Sun 11-May-14 18:53:28

I think it's a big deal too. You clearly don't have enough money for him to loan out cash if it's leaving you short in order to be able to buy a dryer (they're not that expensive) AND usual bills???

ElleDiamond Sun 11-May-14 18:54:53

Yes it does get paid back but I'll be lucky if it's the full amount all at once. More often than not it ends up being small amounts here and there hmm

phantomnamechanger Sun 11-May-14 18:55:47

Has he lent it to this person before, and do they repay it promptly - or are they taking the P big time?
If they are genuinely less well off than you, then it is nice to know he is generous, but should still discuss with you first. If they are the type that blow their money then whine about being short when a bill comes in, then they should be told in no uncertain terms where to go.

MrsDeVere Sun 11-May-14 18:56:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElleDiamond Sun 11-May-14 18:57:49

To be fair our usual bills would have been fine but the cat had to make an unexpected visit to the vets but then that would have probably been fine if he hadn't of gave them money urgh he can be such a dick

Fluffycloudland77 Sun 11-May-14 18:58:59

Whatever issues this family member isn't helped if he bails them out.

I'm betting its a parent or sibling so feels obliged to help.

usuallysuspect Sun 11-May-14 19:01:08

It's nice he helps his family out, but he needs to make sure you are ok money wise first.

Send him to the laundrette with the wet washing.

phantomnamechanger Sun 11-May-14 19:01:29

OK, how much money is it? can you casually mention to the person concerned that this has left you in a bit of a spot, so they KNOW they need to repay it with some degree of urgency. Maybe they think this is less of a big deal? Maybe OH has led them to believe things are not as tight for you as they are?

skittycat Sun 11-May-14 19:02:36

Okay, well I don't think he is unreasonable for wanting to lend his family members money, but he is unreasonable for not talking it over with you first.

As such, you are not being unreasonable to be annoyed! smile

NearTheWindymill Sun 11-May-14 19:03:56

OK thinking of logical, practical solutions short-term.

OP do you have a big table cloth, throw that you can use as an undersheet for tonight? Can you find something to suffice as an oversheet for one night? Sleeping bags - owned or borrowed.

It isn't the end of the world if the DC sleep on their mattresses with a towel under them and uncovered duvet over them.

Can DH's family have a whip round for, say, £20 quid so you can buy some cheap sheets from Primark, Asda, etc?

usuallysuspect Sun 11-May-14 19:08:22

YY, can you just improvise tonight with towels etc?

Doesn't matter for one night if they don't have sheets on their beds.

MsAspreyDiamonds Sun 11-May-14 19:09:04

it's not what you wanted to hear but if you put the washing in for a second spin, it will dry more quickly.

CarbeDiem Sun 11-May-14 19:09:21

YANBU! I'd be fucking livid in your shoes.

The only way I'd be appeased was if the person borrowing the money was seriously skint through no fault of their own/starving/with other mouths to feed - you get my gist.
I'd still be pissed off that he didn't discuss it first though.

OiYou Sun 11-May-14 19:11:50

<for next time>

We bought one nice duvet set each for both kids. But I bought a couple spares from local charity shop for like 3 pound each.

And you are not being unreasonable at all. Your family comes first every time. And you should be consulted before he spends family money

ElleDiamond Sun 11-May-14 19:15:31

It's nearly dry now just a few damp patches left. Just the rest of the washing to go...

bigkidsdidit Sun 11-May-14 19:15:46

Do you have sleeping bags hey can use for tonight?

I would be raging.

Vivacia Sun 11-May-14 19:21:58

You're right to be annoyed and disappointed about his decision to lend money without you knowing.

But I don't understand why you put a load of laundry on, knowing you'd have a problem drying it.

ElleDiamond Sun 11-May-14 19:22:09

In regards to the spare bedding I do plan to buy spare bedding, we moved not long ago from a flat where the children had a toddler bed and a cot as we couldn't fit in full sized single beds. Now they have single beds and they got a new set of bedding each on top of the house getting decorated and them getting new beds etc. They picked the new bedding they want just the other day but I need to wait till pay day to get it.

It's just unfortunate timing for the dryer to pack in.

usuallysuspect Sun 11-May-14 19:23:38

Have you got a washing line outside?

NearTheWindymill Sun 11-May-14 19:25:34

Can you use their old cot sheets and stuff.

Believe me OP - hard as it seems - you and DH will laugh about this in 20 years' time.

Not sure if that apostrophe is in the right place if anyone wants to come and slam me grin

steff13 Sun 11-May-14 19:27:53

Could you use a blow dryer on the damp spots?

Bunbaker Sun 11-May-14 19:28:45

"Have you got a washing line outside?"

We have had a lot of rain today and I wouldn't have been able to dry bedding. I think a lot of the UK have had rain.

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