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To be annoyed about OH borrowing people money?

(66 Posts)
ElleDiamond Sun 11-May-14 18:13:26

Ok annoyed is an understatement atm. My dryer broke down recently, and we were to buy a new one when OH got paid. So when he got paid he borrowed money to his family without asking me (he never asks angry ) Unfortunately this just so happened to be the money for the dryer.

So today my childrens bedding needed washing and now i'm sitting at after 6 at night with soaking wet bedding trying to dry it on radiators, everyone is practically dying off the heat and lucky OH gets to escape it all by being at work hmm

I could swing for OH right now angry I also have a potty training toddler and I am about to give up on trying to dry all the washing, it just won't bloody dry.

I know this isn't massive in the grand scheme of things but I am just so fucked off. AIBU?

jaggythistle Sun 11-May-14 18:14:24

So he's lending your money to people?

Lucie99 Sun 11-May-14 18:15:55

Seems pretty thoughtless. Is your OH the father of your children?

As a side shouldn't it read lend money rather than borrow or is that a regional thing?

phantomnamechanger Sun 11-May-14 18:17:51

was it some dire family emergency?
is he telling you the truth? or does he have debts or a gambling problem you don't know about? is all money shared money? do you have money, even if only £10 a month, to spend just on you for treats etc?

WitchWay Sun 11-May-14 18:18:50

He is lending, they are borrowing

Agree not ideal to do this without discussing it with you first

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted Sun 11-May-14 18:19:20

Has he explained why lending money to his family is more important to him than you and your family? And why he can't consult with you before he does it?

I'd go on laundry-strike if I were you

Bunbaker Sun 11-May-14 18:22:24

So he lent the money to his family without telling you? That's a bit mean. Wash all his clothes and leave them in a wet pile on the floor. Evil grin

Next time his family want to borrow money from you ask him to discuss it with you first.

butterflyby Sun 11-May-14 18:23:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OwlCapone Sun 11-May-14 18:26:15

He should have discussed it with you. Unless it was for something really urgent.

littleblackno Sun 11-May-14 18:26:41

He's a twat for lending money without takking to you about it. But do you seriously only have one set of bedding that has to be washed and dried on the same day?! (Misses the point)

littleblackno Sun 11-May-14 18:27:11


Bunbaker Sun 11-May-14 18:29:46

Yes. Don't you have spare sheets/duvet covers? What do you do if the children were sick on their bedclothes and need a clean change in the middle of the night?

skittycat Sun 11-May-14 18:31:18

littleblackno I missed the point as well! Surely an extra set of bedding would be handy.

What did your OH lend his family the money for?

ilovesooty Sun 11-May-14 18:32:38

Ask him who he lent it to and tell him to get it back.
And tell him it's totally unacceptable and any repetition will have you seriously reconsidering the future of your relationship.

Motherinlawsdung Sun 11-May-14 18:35:25

Give the OP a break. Not everyone has loads of spare bed linen and she is dealing with a toddler as well.
OP he is acting like a knob and your children should be his priority, not the other members of his extended family.

ElleDiamond Sun 11-May-14 18:36:08

I knew I'd get the lending/borrowing thing the wrong way around blush

No there are no debts or anything I don't know about and it wasn't an emergency it was just for bills which they were short of cash for. I do actually spend at least £10 a month on myself on a monthly subscription for beauty products.
All money in this house is shared he just has a habit of lending(?) money to his family without asking me. It just so happens that this time we are left without a dryer and bills of our own to pay.

ilovesooty Sun 11-May-14 18:38:16

So how are you going to ensure he never does it again?

I actually think it is a big deal.

usuallysuspect Sun 11-May-14 18:38:16

I would be annoyed too. When will he get the money back?

Any need for so many people to point out the lend , borrow thing?

Jinty64 Sun 11-May-14 18:40:26

Have you any family who would dry the bedding for you. Can you afford to use the laundrette until you replace the dryer. I take it you don't have outside drying space.

He should not, under any circumstances, have lent money without discussing it with you first.

hotcrosshunny Sun 11-May-14 18:41:50

I would be pissed off. It is your family money not his to give away. Bloody hell.

petalsandstars Sun 11-May-14 18:42:29

A tell his family that you need it back

B take the washing round theirs to dry

usuallysuspect Sun 11-May-14 18:42:49

The weather is supposed to get drier next week, have you got outside space?

Not really the point I know.

RussianBlu Sun 11-May-14 18:43:01

It's lending, LENDING. Not borrowing to people. (Sorry, this is like nails on a blackboard for me).

P.S You aren't being unreasonable.

usuallysuspect Sun 11-May-14 18:44:29

I think that has been pointed out, several times. Russian.


steff13 Sun 11-May-14 18:44:36

You are not being unreasonable to be angry, that's a huge hassle. Do people ever pay the money back when the borrow it? It's family money and you should have a say in whether you, as a family, lend it.

You are being unreasonable for using the word borrow when you meant lend.

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