To always expect something to go wrong?

[summerbreezer]

This might just be me, so I thought I would throw it out to the MN jury.

My life is going pretty well at the moment. Not perfectly, but well. There are things I want and things I am working towards, but I am content with my lot.

However, I find it difficult to really enjoy it - because at the back of my mind I am always expecting something bad to happen. I figure that things can't stay this good forever and that at some point something awful is going to happen.

Generally the awful thing I envisage is the illness/death of my loved ones. Now the likelihood is my parents will get ill and die at some stage, but hopefully that won't be for a little while yet (I'm 30, they are in their 60's, no health problems etc).

Why can't I just enjoy the life I have in the present? Is this a type of anxiety disorder? And does anyone else ever feel the same?

[harriet247]

Have you got OCD?

[IFoughtTheLaw]

I feel like this all the time. I have anxiety.

[cardibach]

It could be anxiety. It could just be the human condition. If it is spoiling your life, go to the doctor as it shouldn't.

[WorraLiberty]

Of course something will go wrong at some point...that's part of life.

You'll deal with it and come out the other side, just as you no doubt have in the past.

I agree, you could be suffering with anxiety.

[Pumpkinpositive]

Have you ever experienced a close bereavement or sudden loss?

[Pumpkinpositive]

Of course something will go wrong at some point...that's part of life

Agree with that too, of course.

[ScarlettDarling]

Yes, i agree that its anxiety. I have always had low level general anxiety and over the last couple of years its turned into a health anxiety, and has got progressively worse. For the last few months I've been on anxiety meds which have really helped. It was getting to the point where i enjoyed nothing because i was constantly preoccupied with the awful things which could happen. Was obsessed with illness and death. The meds have been great, i feel ok again. I still get the thoughts but i find it much easier to dismiss them. Im also about to start cbt to help to 'retrain' my thought processes. Im not suggesting that medication and therapy are what you need, but it could really be worth speaking to your gp.

[summerbreezer]

Thanks for replying all.

I don't have OCD - I don't ritualise and my flat is a fucking tip

I guess I have never really thought about it in the context of anxiety before. I am a bit of a control freak perfectionist - perhaps I struggle with things I cannot control (like death!)

Pumpkin My gran died suddenly a couple of years ago - sudden in the sense that she got an infection and died within 3/4 days. She was 88 though! I was extremely close to her and miss her a lot. Apart from that, I have never lost anyone.

[summerbreezer]

Thanks for your thoughts, Scarlett

[BitchPeas]

I feel like this. Like an impending sense of doom that takes the fun out of happy occasions. It's like in holding my breath and just waiting for the shit to hit the fan. I've started looking for problems and over reacting to tiny things I have terrible nightmares, and worry continuously about being infertile, have a mc etc.

It's ridiculous and we are not even going to start ttc until September, so i feel like I'm slowly going to drive myself mad (and DP!)

Mine started from when I lost a baby and was very ill afterwards, that was a year and a half ago.
I've done gp, private counsilling, anti depressants etc but nothing's helped.

I feel like the only thing that will make it stop will be having another baby. Which just starts the never ending cycle of worry all over again!

Sorry for the rambling high jack my point is I know how you feel and it's a very lonely place to be.

[weekendninja]

I could have wrote your post. I'm afraid I have no advice. The constant feeling of impending doom is really hard to deal with. I am also a perfectionist and want everything to be just right. I also have anxieties over health. I gave a really big conscious - I even felt uncomfortable at Disney with the who extravagance of it. Silly I know. I also have self esteem issues surrounding my looks, despite being told fairly regularly that I'm attractive.

For me, the issues stem from 'D'H having an affair and my powerlessness to protect my DC's.

I'm thinking about some counselling and also going to investigate mindfulness.

Maybe you starting this post might be a start for you in tackling this.

I am going to

[weekendninja]

Oops!

I'm going to start making an effort this week because it can't go on.

I'm sorry that others feel like this

[Back2Two]

Try looking into Mindfulness it is a technique for exactly what you are describing ....learning to focus upon and appreciate the present.

There are two main approaches but both of them address the sort of issues described on this thread.
There is mindfulness based stress reduction or mindfulness based cognitive therapy.
It has a huge evidence base and is recommended by the National Institue for CLinical EXcellance as a therapy for depression, anxiety and other issues.

[ScarlettDarling]

The ruby wax mindfulness book was a really interesting, easy to read introduction to mindfulness. I have thought about doing a mindfulness course, have heard so many great things about it.