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To be a bit shocked at employers son always walking around house in boxers...

(150 Posts)
KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn Fri 09-May-14 18:15:48

I do a bit of part time work for a lady at her house. Twice now I have been working and her 20 year old son has risen from bed and swanned by me in his boxers to go down stairs for his brekky.

AIBU to find this a bit bizarre. I am often about the house and we I haven't worked there years or anything- hence i don't know them well.

I get very uncomfortable at a bloke in his tight tiny boxers and a tshirt strutting about. Am I a prude? I mentioned it to dh and he was raging! Said he would never do this.

KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn Sat 10-May-14 18:26:49

Personally I think people just love to jump on the bandwagon and get a bit carried away with their pov. I think in the RL most would be rather shy at a person they barely know walking about in right little pants...

I also think everyone is jumping on my dh making out he is a controlling basterd when most of their hubbies would be rather affronted if a man was lounging about around them in right pants as the tries to work and felt a bit awkward. But hey ho, whatever ...

aermingers Sat 10-May-14 14:00:24

In fairness to the OPs DH if a man was making me feel uncomfortable like this at work he wouldn't be very happy either.

flowery Sat 10-May-14 13:58:47

YANBU. It's your workplace, and it's not reasonable for you to have to be subjected to people wandering round in their underwear.

Posters are getting sidetracked by your husband's reaction, and obviously live on a different planet from me if they think wandering round in underwear is normal acceptable behaviour when there are visitors or employees present.

KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn Sat 10-May-14 12:59:34

He is a lovely guy though smile

KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn Sat 10-May-14 12:58:48

I'm genuinely not upset or scared by him, just embarrased as I am working away on the stairs and turn round and he's gliding down the stairs with just his pants on! I was a bit taken aback is all. A bit shy.

KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn Sat 10-May-14 12:57:25

' Strutting ' is what I feel he does. Not provocatively - but he doesn't seem shy about being half naked and walks about rather confidently ... Maybe I should not have said strutting :/

My dh is my age. This isnt about my hubby it is about me. I regret mentioning him now smile

cricketpitch Sat 10-May-14 12:43:57

YANBU - I work in other people's homes and would feel very uncomfortable in that situation.

If someone is in your home in professional capacity then you should not put them in a situation which is uncomfortable.

As for the OP's DH - why is it surprising that he is angry if she is upset?

My DH works in other people's homes - I would not be happy if the teenage daughter of one of his clients was in her bra and pants in the kitchen - in fact the code of conduct from his professional body specifically warns against entering premises in these circumstances.

The work thing is the key here - NOT how people behave at home.

Caitlin17 Sat 10-May-14 12:26:16

ilovesooty agreed. I doubt he was strutting. It's a shame the OP has over-egged the pudding as the basic point wasn't unreasonable.

In my house my family can walk about in whatever state of dress they like but if I have guests or people working in my home then I insist on pjs at least. I would hate for anyone to feel awkward or uncomfortable in my home. I feel a bit sorry for the op. As for being told to enjoy the view? I wonder how that nugget of advice would go if the roles were reversed?

ilovesooty Sat 10-May-14 12:17:36

What does strutting entail?

The adult response would have been to mention it to your employer or to this person directly if you felt uncomfortable not to your husband. Raging seems likea weird ooverreaction to me.

LemonSquares Sat 10-May-14 12:02:51

I’d get dressed if people were coming in to do work for us – but do know other who don’t ie are in their pj when people arrive to do things – like clean or work on house.

I also get dressed as DH does when we are stopping in other people's homes - so I'm therefore taken back when other people stopping at ours seem happy to wonder round in the pj or underwear . However we have had a few house guests like that.

So it's possible this guy is oblivious.

Have you not tried saying something in a jockey fashion - oi you’ve forgotten your clothes - or my eye my eyes oh - god clothing please. Something jockey to get him to realise he should be wearing more - without making it into a huge issue? Though I suppose a quiet word with your employer might work as well.

I'm not sure what response you expect from your DH - a guy making you feel uncomfortable by parading round your work place near naked - I think my DH would be upset because I was uncomfortable then probably laugh and not think further.

However you say you know your guy get jealous – I would have thought it would make it harder all round for you to stay working here especially if you don’t get the issue sorted.

paxtecum Sat 10-May-14 12:01:09


I too find it strange that people walk about in their underwear when there are visitors or employees around.

But we do live in a world wear people go shopping into town in their fleecy teddy bear pjs.

I also know a very 'nice' posh lady who has a large glamour photo of herself in her office. It is very bizarre that she thinks we all want to view a photo of her legs wide apart fanjo.

Caitlin17 Sat 10-May-14 11:58:15

Dogcalledrudi how ridiculous. It's the
OP's work-place. There are very few workplaces where clothing is optional.

KoalaDownUnder Sat 10-May-14 11:57:07


I don't think it's normal to wander around the house in underwear when there's anyone but immediate family around. It makes people uncomfortable, which is inconsiderate at the very least.

TheSpottedZebra Sat 10-May-14 11:56:47

OP, is your DH a bit older than you?

turgiday Sat 10-May-14 11:56:43

And I assume all the female MNers on this thread saying YABU, would be happy to walk around in just their bra and pants if a workman is coming into their house?

turgiday Sat 10-May-14 11:55:42

I agree with you OP. And I would feel the same about a woman walking around in bras and pants if I was working at her home. I always dress if someone else is going to be in the house apart from immediate family, before going downstairs.

AmberLeaf Sat 10-May-14 11:43:33

If you hadn't mentioned how your husband feels about this, I think the responses would be very different.

I have 3 sons and it is the norm for them to get partially undressed once they are in for the day. Bare legs is standard.

However, if someone were to come round, they would nip upstairs and put some trousers on, also if they got up to find someone here, they wouldn't come down half dressed.

If there was someone working in the house for any reason, they would absolutely be properly dressed in their presence. So, YANBU

I also don't believe for a minute that all the fellow bare leggers here wouldn't put something on if someone came to do a job in their home.

indigo18 Sat 10-May-14 11:36:47

sorry, about your OH !

indigo18 Sat 10-May-14 11:35:57

Oh, and ignore the comments about your OP; on this site, some posters are unable to view men as anything other that controlling bastards.

indigo18 Sat 10-May-14 11:33:35

YANBU. He should pot something else on. It's good manners. If nudity was the norm in someone's house, would it be OK for their teenage daughter to be nude in front of someone working in the house, because 'it's their home, their rules'? I think not.

DogCalledRudis Sat 10-May-14 11:28:35

Its his house. In our house clothing is optional.

KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn Sat 10-May-14 11:25:25

For god sake my hubby being ragin was a side note! An afterthought! It is not about him, or me being hot (questionable indeed) or any of that. Its about me feeling shy! I only explained hubby pov further as I was asked. Why must so many of you start nit-picking something which is not the main point, is it so you can have a bitch fest? Slate my hubby and I? Why must women feel so inclined to get nasty. I get IABU - fine , thanks! But why oh why must the sarcy comments ensue? What is te need? Please ...

ScrambledSmegs Sat 10-May-14 11:21:17

Oh, you're pregnant?

My DH morphed from a completely normal person into Mr Overprotective when I was pregnant. It was sweet but ultimately exhausting. We eventually had words, he learnt to relax a little and we both started communicating better.

Is it your first baby together?

Caitlin17 Sat 10-May-14 10:49:22

And no I definitely don't think her husband is more perceptive than most; far from it.

But if we can take that out of the equation there's often threads on here about nudity. I really don't on the whole want to see other people's genitals whether attached to small children, teenage boys or grown-ups. Boxers are one layer of thin cotton and are not just the same as shorts or swimming shorts.

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