Sorry for posting here. I feel really upset. My dd (6) is an only child. She has a pretty fractious relationship with her 'best' friend' in that she is very intense with her, doesn't give her a lot of space and friend inevitably gets frustrated with my dd. Friend recently had a playdate at ours and my dd did her head in, I watched it with my own eyes.
I am not one of these parents who can't see my child's faults and more than ever I am seeing that my dd argues the toss with her friends constantly. If she has a play date at our house with them, she bosses them around, won't share her toys, and if they say black, she will say white. The latter point is excruciating to witness in itself and I can't help getting involved and telling dd off when I see it. A typical example will be, she will have three friends over....and they watch to watch film A. Before it even happens, I just know dd is going to say she wants to watch film B. She couldn't give a flying fuck that she's in the minority and will sit there arguing and arguing to have the opposite of whatever everyone else has agreed on. She argues about rules in a game, who's playing what role etc. Sometimes, i'm so aghast at her behaviour that I feel like crying because I just know their tolerance of her will not last. There are occasions where she is arguing against the most ridiculous of things, like she wanted a video clip on you tube to start from a very specific part of the song, and not at the beginning, so she makes everyone miss out on that part. She had a sleepover a few weeks ago and they were singing along to a song from a film and she was moaning at them to stop singing as she wanted to hear it. I am just constantly telling her off when friends are over because she only behaves like this around them. When I am telling her off in front of them (which I don't want to do), she answers me back, and I always end up so incensed that I want to cancel the date/sleepover but never feel that I can because of the other kids sitting there in the middle of a film or whatever.
Play dates are rarely reciprocated but always gladly accepted. I can't work out if this is just the area I live in (lots of takers) or if it's just that the kids don't want my dd around at their house because of her behaviour.
One of the biggest blows to me recently was that her after school club leader told me that she irritates the other children a lot, because she goes out of her way to argue about the rules of a game or whatever. This caused me to go home and cry. Literally.
What can I do? We don't behave like this in our home, we are kind to each other, we are patient, we take turns. I don't know where I have wrong and I'm so sad about it.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
Help me to make my dd kinder to her friends?
69 replies
nottonightjoesphine · 08/05/2014 11:58
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.