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To think my old schoolfriend should not have brought her family to reunion

(183 Posts)
Summerbreezing Sun 04-May-14 09:49:29

A group of us who hung around together at school have kept in intermittent touch over the years. However, due to distance, family commitments and work we haven't managed to meet up as a full group in years. Recently, however, circumstances meant we were all going to be in our home town on the same weekend and arranged to meet up for an early dinner on the Sat. before one of the group had to catch a train home.

Five of us arrived and were seated with glasses of wine wondering where no 6 was. Next thing in she arrived with a buggy, two other kids and her DH. She was all smiles and 'hope you don't mind, but we were at the art gallery and it was much handier for us all to come. Kids haven't eaten blah blah'. So instead of a nice couple of hours reminiscing and having a good laugh, we spent the time having to try and include her DH, put up with constant interruptions from her DC aged 10 ,8 and 2 and watch our Ps & Qs.

AIBU to think her DH could have taken the kids to McDs or somewhere (there was actually a family friendly pizza place right beside the restaurant we were in) rather than her entire family gatecrashing what was supposed to be a girls only reunion?

StealthPolarBear Sun 04-May-14 09:50:52

She obviously had a different interpretation of what you were doing. It happens to me all the time!

Sparklingbrook Sun 04-May-14 09:50:54

YANBU. I would have been really disappointed, sad

Nomama Sun 04-May-14 09:51:30

Wow! Odd behaviour. She must have been oblivious or very much under the thumb!

ThePriory Sun 04-May-14 09:53:25


Pagwatch Sun 04-May-14 09:56:06


Don't invite her next time. Completely self absorbed or has a tit of a dh.

WhoNickedMyName Sun 04-May-14 09:56:08


I can't even imagine my DH wanting to tag along on something like that.

ApocalypseThen Sun 04-May-14 09:56:12

You'd think she would have noticed that her family weren't included in the arrangement when she arrived. Why can't dad do beans on toast at home?

They sound weird.

LIZS Sun 04-May-14 09:57:12

yanbu at all ! Was she always one for playing by her own rules ?

Sirzy Sun 04-May-14 09:57:27

She should have at least mentioned it to you all well in advance so you were aware.

WooWooOwl Sun 04-May-14 09:57:32


Only1scoop Sun 04-May-14 09:57:35


Blimey I'm suprised her Dh didn't excuse himself and brood and actually wanted to sit there!

indigo18 Sun 04-May-14 09:58:12

May sound mean but I would have put them at one end of the table and then carried on regardless with the others; if she wanted to be interacting with her family instead, let her get on with it!

MorrisZapp Sun 04-May-14 09:58:32

YANBU, I detest this behaviour. To be fair to her, she was just thoughtless. Some people think that their own kids and husbands are so great they would be a welcome addition at an adult women only gathering.

It changes everything. Not acceptable.

Tinkerball Sun 04-May-14 09:58:53

Of course yanbu, the presence of children at an adult reunion totally changes the dynamics, she either didn't care or didn't understand, and then the presence of a complete stranger to the majority of you changes it even more.

meditrina Sun 04-May-14 09:58:53

Yes, very odd. If they had to stay in same venue, I'd have expected her DH to take the DC off to another table out of earshot.

And, I would be very tempted not to mind Ps&Qs, and if she objected just say "if you think it's suitable to bring your DC to a planned adult gathering, it's illogical for you to object to the adult content"

Sparklingbrook Sun 04-May-14 09:59:31

My DH would have not wanted to be there and taken the DC off with pleasure.

Summerbreezing Sun 04-May-14 10:35:17

None of us had even met her DH before. They had a tiny wedding abroad. It was bloody awkward and I have no idea how he couldn't have realised he was imposing himself.

Hoppinggreen Sun 04-May-14 10:39:26

Sounds like they have rhino hides - very odd behaviour!!

turgiday Sun 04-May-14 10:43:55

YANBU this is very odd behaviour.

DurhamDurham Sun 04-May-14 10:50:45

Not sure that she could genuinely have misunderstood the situation, even if she had it would have been very obvious as soon as she arrived. At that point it would have been polite and sensible for the hubby to have taken the children away to have dinner at another venue.

Either forget to invite her next time or be VERY specific about the arrangements grin

StealthPolarBear Sun 04-May-14 10:51:24

I do agree my DH would have probably taken the DCs off to browse but I wonder if the arrangements weren't clear - "meet up for early dinner" could potentially include families.

When I was heavily pregnant MIL arranged a party for DH's aunt, her SIL as it was a big birthday. DH was going to be on paternity leave and men in that generation of the family are retired so I assumed it was a 'full family' thing. After talking to DH's cousins it turned out that only the women seemed to be going. So DH stayed behind (at this point it really wasn't clear whether he was expected or not) and I travelled down with a 4day old and a 2yo to find it was a 'girlie' day - DS was very welcome but it was only the women of the family. Everyone else just seemed to 'get' this without having to be told. I think some of my senses aren't quite right. It was DH's aunt!!!

turgiday Sun 04-May-14 10:52:35

Has she always been dense about social expectations? Or is her Husband very controlling?

Gurnie Sun 04-May-14 10:53:49

Yanbu at all. What a strange thing to do. I could have understood if they'd all popped by and then the DH had gone off with the kids for a couple of hours and left you to it. What a shame!

StealthPolarBear Sun 04-May-14 10:56:31

Do you really think it's that obvious?
We're all in town on the same day - let's meet up for an early dinner!
I genuinely wouldn't know whether it was 'girls only' or families.
We have regular university get togethers and partners/wives/husbands are expected, often they don't come but when they do it's nice..

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