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To have said no?

(521 Posts)
Tiggywinklespinny Fri 02-May-14 17:47:15

We have just had dinner, chicken veggies and baby new potatoes.

Dsd (10) can barely use a knife and was asked to cut her chicken not eat it off the fork in a great lump. Instead she said she didn't want it and left it. Too full she said.

She's now on meltdown because I've said no to ice-cream. AIBU??

MamaMary Fri 02-May-14 17:49:46

If she can barely use a knife, why didn't you cut it for her?


Pobblewhohasnotoes Fri 02-May-14 17:50:16


CocktailQueen Fri 02-May-14 17:50:27

Why can't she use a knife aged ten? Has she special needs? If not, yanbu. Too full for chicken - no pud.

Pointeshoes Fri 02-May-14 17:50:56

Think you should of showed her how to use a knife if can't use one.

icanneverremember Fri 02-May-14 17:51:41

No, YANBU. If she's hungry she can eat her dinner. Is she choosing not to use her knife or can she physically not do it?

itiswhatitiswhatitis Fri 02-May-14 17:51:41

Why can't she use a knife? (My 9 year old would eat like that if he could get away with it he can be bloody lazy)

If it's laziness on her part YANBU.

adv1cen33d3d Fri 02-May-14 17:51:56

Was the chicken on the bone?

Why didn't you help?

xvxvxvxvxvxvxvxv Fri 02-May-14 17:52:21

She needs to learn how to use her knife. You need to help her learn. So she was unable to eat her food? If there's a reason she is unable to learn to use her knife and you don't cut up her food YABU and horrible too.

itiswhatitiswhatitis Fri 02-May-14 17:53:03

She's never going to be able to use a knife if people keep cutting up her food. I'm assuming there is no SN here but if there is OP then that is a different situation altogether.

Zari Fri 02-May-14 17:53:28

YANBU... If she was too full then how can she have pudding??DS tries this all the time.. But he knows the rules.. If you can't finish your dinner because you are too full, then no pudding!!!!

Tiggywinklespinny Fri 02-May-14 17:54:52

No special needs she just doesn't like using it, at 10 I'm not cutting up her food because she's too lazy! She's been shown many times.

HecatePropylaea Fri 02-May-14 17:56:19

If she has difficulty using a knife it is likely that she felt embarrassed. At 10 she is likely to be aware that it is different.
instead of saying basically get on with it, perhaps one of her parents should take responsibility for teaching her this fairly basic life skill. At 10 she should not be unable to use a knife and if she cant teach herself, her parents should be helping her to learn!

I am assuming there is no identified reason why this is difficult for her since you have not said there is.

Andro Fri 02-May-14 17:56:45

Two separate issues here:

1. Too full = no room for ice-cream.

2. Why can't she use a knife? She should have tried/asked for help/asked you to cut her meat for her depending on the reasons (I'm assuming that if there were severe LD's/development issues you would have just done it for her anyway).

itiswhatitiswhatitis Fri 02-May-14 17:57:03

You have my sympathies then OP. DS drives me nuts when he tries to eat whole pieces of food stuck on the fork, he gets a massive bollocking for it because it is simply laziness.

HecatePropylaea Fri 02-May-14 17:57:46

Perhaps how she has been shown has not been helpful to her. Maybe she needs to practice.

FunkyBoldRibena Fri 02-May-14 17:58:12

Been there - Step daughter still using fingers to eat main meal at 12 and her dad doing nothing to stop her. I gave up teaching her how to hold a knife. She told me she couldn't be bothered and using fingers to eat was easier. I had to walk away and left them to it.

She's 17 now. But it's her life!

Andro Fri 02-May-14 17:58:41

X-post. So it's 'don't want' rather than 'can't'? You've said you've shown her, are you sure she can apply that knowledge? If so then YANBU to refuse to pre-emptively do it for her.

Hullygully Fri 02-May-14 17:58:58

Just cut it up for her.

If she still wants you to do it when she's 30, it's a problem. Other than that, why make it an issue?

YouTheCat Fri 02-May-14 18:00:20

Is she left-handed?

Andro Fri 02-May-14 18:00:26

FunkyBoldRibena - Does she still not use a knife at 17 then? That would be sight to see in a smart restaurant!

Tiggywinklespinny Fri 02-May-14 18:01:13

If she had difficulties I would most certainly have helped as would dh. She has been shown lots of times but just chooses the cut with her fork or pick it up and eat it as is.

Chicken wasn't on the bone, She's in full on tantrum mode. I'm looking for gin grin

itiswhatitiswhatitis Fri 02-May-14 18:03:02

Give her a bowl of ice cream but no spoon grin <evil mum>

FreeSpirit89 Fri 02-May-14 18:03:21

YADNBU - my 6 yr old DSD try's this occasionally too x

BuzzardBird Fri 02-May-14 18:05:12

Tell her MN thinks SIBU. That will help not grin

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