To cut a very long story short this boils down to two issues.
The first is my dh's cousin ( who he would think of as a brother) and his wife. Lets call her A. We all used to be very close. Children are the same age, they were god parents to our dc's. We would have had alot of family bbq's easter hunts, Halloween party's etc together. It all started to cool off, there seemed to be a atmosphere when they were around. Tbh it seemed like jealousy. Bitchy comments about kids clothes etc. It started to feel competitive. I did put some distance between us. A seemed to do the same. I still gave birthday presents etc to the kids. I wanted to keep things friendly because at the end of the day its family. Gifts were received in bad grace. My kids birthdays were not acknowledged. We were invited to their ds communion out pf the blue last year, I felt afterwards to make up numbers as there was no further contact for some months.
When they did call again A quickly pointed out she was disappointed her dc's were not involved to my ds bday party. (Wtf) it was for only 4 school friends. My dc's attended her ddparty on sat. It went well. Dh brought them and confirmed the would be attending my dd's party which was yesterday. They did not come. My kids were soo disappointed. A said she was not sure if they were invited even though it had been confirmed by text the week before also.
Then there is my mother in law who has alot of "issues" includes drink. I have tried so hard to help. To no avail. I also think she has been bad mouthing us to the cousin's family which has lead to above situation. She has always played her dc's off against each other, now her son's don't talk. She also has not attended any of my dc's plays bdays etc no matter how accommodating we have been. The whole family appear to spend their time back stabbing each other.
I just feel so drained by all of this. I honestly think it has affected my mental health. I don't know who to trust any more. They have made me hard. Every time they are not in contact life is good. I feel so sorry for dh who really got his eyes open this week. I have always bit my tongue but now I just want to tell them all to f off. I have tried so hard with them as they are very local and my family ate over an hour away.
Would I be unreasonable to just blank them all and if confronted tell them all what I think of them or long term will I do more harm than good. Sorry its sp long. Didn't want to drip feed but could write a book
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AIBU?
To just cut my losses with the in-laws
17 replies
oohnewshoes · 23/04/2014 20:20
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